Finally I've seen God
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08-07-2015, 12:41 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(08-07-2015 11:37 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  I see Jesus mowing lawns in my neighborhood.

That dude really gets around...he's truly everywhere. Tongue

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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08-07-2015, 01:07 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
If I see Jesus I'm grabbing my gun and putting that zombie down for good.

'Murican Canadian
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08-07-2015, 01:13 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(08-07-2015 01:07 PM)yakherder Wrote:  If I see Jesus I'm grabbing my gun and putting that zombie down for good.

Remember, double-tap, wait three days and double-tap again if necessary.




Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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08-07-2015, 02:19 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
I've had a bad concussion and never saw anything or anyone.
Just a bad headache til I puked.
Why is it when people have visions, it's always someone famous?
If I hit my head and have a vision, I want to see something useful. Like the flux-capacitor or something.
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08-07-2015, 02:28 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
I think a lot of it is just irrational interpretations of hallucinations.

When I go for a couple days without sleep and start seeing things, for example, there is in fact almost always zombies involved. This isn't because there are actually zombies, it's because I have a zombie fetish and that's what I want to see.

'Murican Canadian
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08-07-2015, 03:45 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
Jesus once told me he loved me.


In a Mexican jail.
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09-07-2015, 11:10 AM
RE: Finally I've seen God
I let Jesus in my home once. He asked for a loan.

If anyone see's him tell him he owe's me $50 + interest.

And don't buy his bullshit about a mansions in heaven. That's just his way of getting out of paying back debts. The mansion's he's promising are just a plot of cloud he pushes together to look big. And what would I need a mansion for in the afterlife? Do i need shelter from the rain? Am I what sort of TV's would i get? And is the only cable provider in hell?

"Oh but CS I died for your sin's."

NO! NO, Jesus! You can't pull that out of your back pocket every time you come over. You help me out 1 time, and all of a sudden i'm in your debt. You know a real friend would have helped me move? But for some reason when I call you no were around. And your feet have holes in them. Stop wearing sandals your getting blood on my carpet!

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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09-07-2015, 11:16 AM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(08-07-2015 03:45 PM)TheStraightener Wrote:  Jesus once told me he loved me.


In a Mexican jail.

But, did he?
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09-07-2015, 12:37 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(09-07-2015 11:10 AM)Commonsensei Wrote:  I let Jesus in my home once. He asked for a loan.

If anyone see's him tell him he owe's me $50 + interest.

And don't buy his bullshit about a mansions in heaven. That's just his way of getting out of paying back debts. The mansion's he's promising are just a plot of cloud he pushes together to look big. And what would I need a mansion for in the afterlife? Do i need shelter from the rain? Am I what sort of TV's would i get? And is the only cable provider in hell?

"Oh but CS I died for your sin's."

NO! NO, Jesus! You can't pull that out of your back pocket every time you come over. You help me out 1 time, and all of a sudden i'm in your debt. You know a real friend would have helped me move? But for some reason when I call you no were around. And your feet have holes in them. Stop wearing sandals your getting blood on my carpet!

I loaned him $50 once, he wrote me an IOU on paper saying he would be right back to repay the loan. Been waiting 2000 years on that promise. Undecided

I'm totally charging him interest.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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09-07-2015, 01:07 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(09-07-2015 12:37 PM)TheInquisition Wrote:  I loaned him $50 once, he wrote me an IOU on paper saying he would be right back to repay the loan. Been waiting 2000 years on that promise. Undecided

I'm totally charging him interest.
Did he say something like, "No one who is here will perish before I pay you back?" He does that.
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