Finally I've seen God
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09-07-2015, 02:29 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(08-07-2015 11:37 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  I see Jesus mowing lawns in my neighborhood.

Jesus doesn't mow our lawn but Emanuel does. Isn't that his cousin?

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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09-07-2015, 03:32 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(09-07-2015 11:16 AM)pablo Wrote:  
(08-07-2015 03:45 PM)TheStraightener Wrote:  Jesus once told me he loved me.


In a Mexican jail.

But, did he?

No... No he didn't
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10-07-2015, 05:19 AM
RE: Finally I've seen God
You foolish mortals who mocks Jesus and her fatherth!

If you don't receive God's unconditional love now, you will burn and suffer in endless agony!
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10-07-2015, 05:49 AM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(10-07-2015 05:19 AM)Typho2k Wrote:  You foolish mortals who mocks Jesus and her fatherth!

If you don't receive God's unconditional love now, you will burn and suffer in endless agony!
I guess you missed the memo...

When I beat god at chess on his board, I won a bet ---

and hell has been downgraded ----

Instead of pitchforks - the demons now all carry wiffleball bats and instead of a lake of fire, they now have a lake of lukewarm mud.

It still sucks though - and looks an awful lot like Gary Indiana..............

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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10-07-2015, 05:57 AM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(10-07-2015 05:19 AM)Typho2k Wrote:  You foolish mortals who mocks Jesus and her fatherth!

If you don't receive God's unconditional love now, you will burn and suffer in endless agony!

God's unconditional love-

-you will burn and suffer in endless agony!


Oh the irony. Big GrinBig GrinBig GrinBig GrinBig Grin

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NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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10-07-2015, 11:36 AM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(08-07-2015 09:39 AM)Typho2k Wrote:  I was certain I wasn't going back
to christianity after being an atheist for a long time.

Yesterday, I slipped on some oilspill and
hurt my head. That was when Jesus appeared in front as I was lying on the ground.
She (Yes, Jesus was a woman) told me to go in here to warn you guys about the eternal fires of hell after taking me by the hand to show me what it is like down there.

Please convert before it is too late.

Well, I'm convinced. Off to sacrifice my first born son. BRB.
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11-07-2015, 09:38 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
Had Jeaus changes his gender?
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11-07-2015, 10:45 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
I saw God on the corner of First and Amistad.

Eh? Eh? See what I did there? No?

Well f##k you then!

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12-07-2015, 11:41 AM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(09-07-2015 02:29 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(08-07-2015 11:37 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  I see Jesus mowing lawns in my neighborhood.

Jesus doesn't mow our lawn but Emanuel does. Isn't that his cousin?

I think it's his street name.

Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. - Matthew 1:23

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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12-07-2015, 03:45 PM
RE: Finally I've seen God
(10-07-2015 05:19 AM)Typho2k Wrote:  If you don't receive God's unconditional love now, you will burn and suffer in endless agony!

Evil_monster
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