Finally Out - First Post
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12-11-2016, 10:22 PM
Finally Out - First Post
Whew. just revealed my worldview to my father (my mothers speculated but hasn't heard the words) and called my pastor as well. "I'm an atheist." Damn it feels... good in a sense, but I'm still conflicted emotionally. It sucks letting someone down, after so many "trials and tests" that they've seen me go through. I am no longer convinced that the God of the Bible exists, and now that they know this, its like I'm ostracized already, but I've got my hopes up that our relationship will change over time.

I was raised more or less fundamentalist (we watched Ken hovinds videos instead of Wednesday night sermons once), taught that the bible is true, inspired by god, perfect, non contradictory, etc. Jesus raised from the dead, walked on water, will save us all when he comes back, hopefully in our lifetimes. Early on I was in ministry, playing in music for services and going evangelizing on street corners with signs and bullhorns. I'm naturally curious so questions came early, I've always had the sense that the church wasn't really speaking divine truth, but was a social construct that people use to feel a sense of community and belonging. I had faith and repented of course, to fit in and become initiated so to speak and be allowed to participate further especially in music, which I love.

Private school protected me until 7th grade, then the evolution theory was taught a little deeper and much much more evidence against the plausibility of a personal God sacrificed for my sins. Fast forward to high school, began smoking pot and believing in the universe as god, ie we are all god, one and the same, all one, etc. and acting for church. I graduated and gave that up. I moved out (was given 30 days to move out by my father who quoted joshua 24 me and my house...) and was doing good for 6 months, spiritually at least until a new roomate opened my eyes to gnosticism, essenes, astrology, and christ consciousness etc.

The questions were hard to face. Was my deep childhood belief wrong?! I called him satan once while I was coming down from a joint, and dehydrated. a flock of black birds came down around the picnic table as he said "I don't know, maybe"

I moved back in with my parents, repented and made a public declaration of my whole testimony that thousands of people have read maybe even dozens of thousands. That was 6 months ago.

I began watching debates, first biased towards chirstianity. Then I began to see the points that athiests and skeptics made and it was a quick slide until I was secretly on their side. My viewing history went from ravi zacharias and William Craig and ken hovind, quickly over to Seth Andrews Matt Dillahunty, Richard Dawkins and many more great people.

I love my life, and I hope to make the best of it. I really want to help others with their questions and beliefs so feel free to message me. Thank you for your time. -K
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12-11-2016, 10:45 PM
RE: Finally Out - First Post
Welcome!
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12-11-2016, 11:00 PM
RE: Finally Out - First Post
Thread moved

The teen section isn't used much, so I felt the introduction would be better in our intro section.

Welcome


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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13-11-2016, 01:34 PM
RE: Finally Out - First Post
Hello! Big Grin

Hug
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13-11-2016, 01:52 PM
RE: Finally Out - First Post
Welcome to TTA. Smile
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13-11-2016, 08:07 PM
RE: Finally Out - First Post
I went through almost exactly the same thing, at age 17, when some Creationists who preached at my fundamentalist Southern Baptist church made some claims that even I already knew enough about science to spot as bullshit.

After beinning to do some honest research into the claims and history of my religion, I left the church. It took me another five years or so to recognize that I was an atheist.

I'm now 40, and have never regretted that awakening, other than the conflicts it caused when I "came out" to my family about it. They can be quite harsh to doubters and those who ask difficult questions.

Welcome to TTA. You'll fit right in, here. Smile

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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14-11-2016, 07:36 AM
RE: Finally Out - First Post
Welcome!

“The first duty of a man is to think for himself” ― José Martí
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14-11-2016, 07:55 AM
RE: Finally Out - First Post
(12-11-2016 10:22 PM)kolbydboyd Wrote:  I love my life, and I hope to make the best of it. I really want to help others with their questions and beliefs so feel free to message me. Thank you for your time. -K

Welcome to a life of intellectual freedom. And congratulations on asking the right questions.
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