First thread introduction
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21-11-2012, 09:02 PM
First thread introduction
Hello all. First post here. Just a brief introduction. I'm 44, live in the bible belt, and have been an agnostic/atheist for a few years now. I was raised in the church and "gave my life to Jesus" as a youngster. I spent most of that time in various Assemblies of God churches and was VERY sincere about my faith [at that time]. I did all the things that a christian was supposed to do and knew I was "saved". I was excited about my faith, enjoyed the sermons, loved the music [even became a member of the "worship team", playing bass], and LOVED to hear about "end time prophesy".

However, most of that time, I felt different. I didn't seem to get as excited as others [my peers] would. I always felt awkward "raising my hands", . . . "praying out loud", . . . and especially "witnessing". Though I was "desperate for
God", at that time, and though I would go down to the alter to "seek him", I can't tell you the number of times I would get up completely frustrated, not feeling anything even remotely outside myself. Just me and my own thoughts, and nothing more. It became a very empty time. Unless you have been there before, I can't even tell you how lonely it was. [Of course, I know now why that was.]

About 4 years ago, I was going through a pretty devastating time in my life and was the most devout I had ever been. But I kept having the same trouble as happened in my past. I sought church leadership to give me counsel. I was told to "really get into the bible and to document my thoughts in a journal". Eventually I did. Starting in Genesis and on. I discovered that the more I REALLY dug into the bible, the more I found error and issues with. Even though I was still an important part of the music team, I hid my true feelings for a while, mostly because I enjoyed the music [contemporary and upbeat stuff] and liked the fellowship.

After a while [and due to an event not significant to this story], I left the church and haven't been back. I took those journal notes and, to work through the departure, used them to write a relatively short book about what I found in the bible [that I questioned], as well as my thoughts on other aspects of my once held faith. I self published under and called my book My Case Against Faith.

Since leaving the church resulted in far fewer friends, I mostly hang out with family. I haven't really come out, mostly because I don't want my elderly mother to grieve for me. Most of my family is religions. My oldest brother went the other way and is "a witch" [whatever that means in today's time], but for me, nothing I found in any religion was valid to me. As much as I tried, I could not translate religion into any type of working reality. I learned that my "faith" was based upon other people telling me that "I needed to believe this". Such is hardly a reason to believe fantastic stories when the congnitive dissonance was an undeniable presence in my life.

I hope this wasn't too long. I could go on, but perhaps I will give more later on. Thanks!
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21-11-2012, 09:24 PM
First thread introduction
Hey, DeavonRay!

Welcome to TTA. I hope you're able to gain back a little sense of community here.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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22-11-2012, 07:36 AM
RE: First thread introduction
Thanks! I am hoping so. I have been listening to quite a few of TTA podcasts at work, over the past couple of weeks, and was drawn here. Looking forward to some good conversation with you all.
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22-11-2012, 08:14 AM
RE: First thread introduction
Yeah, welcome!

It seems like you'll fit in well here.

[Image: vjp09.gif]
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22-11-2012, 09:46 AM
RE: First thread introduction
Thanks! . . . . And I LOVE the Benny Hinn signature! Awesome!
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22-11-2012, 10:00 AM
RE: First thread introduction
Welcome aboard Smile

I think you'll like it here.

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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