First thread introduction
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
21-11-2012, 09:02 PM
First thread introduction
Hello all. First post here. Just a brief introduction. I'm 44, live in the bible belt, and have been an agnostic/atheist for a few years now. I was raised in the church and "gave my life to Jesus" as a youngster. I spent most of that time in various Assemblies of God churches and was VERY sincere about my faith [at that time]. I did all the things that a christian was supposed to do and knew I was "saved". I was excited about my faith, enjoyed the sermons, loved the music [even became a member of the "worship team", playing bass], and LOVED to hear about "end time prophesy".

However, most of that time, I felt different. I didn't seem to get as excited as others [my peers] would. I always felt awkward "raising my hands", . . . "praying out loud", . . . and especially "witnessing". Though I was "desperate for
God", at that time, and though I would go down to the alter to "seek him", I can't tell you the number of times I would get up completely frustrated, not feeling anything even remotely outside myself. Just me and my own thoughts, and nothing more. It became a very empty time. Unless you have been there before, I can't even tell you how lonely it was. [Of course, I know now why that was.]

About 4 years ago, I was going through a pretty devastating time in my life and was the most devout I had ever been. But I kept having the same trouble as happened in my past. I sought church leadership to give me counsel. I was told to "really get into the bible and to document my thoughts in a journal". Eventually I did. Starting in Genesis and on. I discovered that the more I REALLY dug into the bible, the more I found error and issues with. Even though I was still an important part of the music team, I hid my true feelings for a while, mostly because I enjoyed the music [contemporary and upbeat stuff] and liked the fellowship.

After a while [and due to an event not significant to this story], I left the church and haven't been back. I took those journal notes and, to work through the departure, used them to write a relatively short book about what I found in the bible [that I questioned], as well as my thoughts on other aspects of my once held faith. I self published under lulu.com and called my book My Case Against Faith.

Since leaving the church resulted in far fewer friends, I mostly hang out with family. I haven't really come out, mostly because I don't want my elderly mother to grieve for me. Most of my family is religions. My oldest brother went the other way and is "a witch" [whatever that means in today's time], but for me, nothing I found in any religion was valid to me. As much as I tried, I could not translate religion into any type of working reality. I learned that my "faith" was based upon other people telling me that "I needed to believe this". Such is hardly a reason to believe fantastic stories when the congnitive dissonance was an undeniable presence in my life.

I hope this wasn't too long. I could go on, but perhaps I will give more later on. Thanks!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-11-2012, 09:24 PM
First thread introduction
Hey, DeavonRay!

Welcome to TTA. I hope you're able to gain back a little sense of community here.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-11-2012, 07:36 AM
RE: First thread introduction
Thanks! I am hoping so. I have been listening to quite a few of TTA podcasts at work, over the past couple of weeks, and was drawn here. Looking forward to some good conversation with you all.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-11-2012, 08:14 AM
RE: First thread introduction
Yeah, welcome!

It seems like you'll fit in well here.

[Image: vjp09.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-11-2012, 09:46 AM
RE: First thread introduction
Thanks! . . . . And I LOVE the Benny Hinn signature! Awesome!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-11-2012, 10:00 AM
RE: First thread introduction
Welcome aboard Smile

I think you'll like it here.

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Forum Picture Thread: Do you have the balls and/or vagina to show yourself? Buddy Christ 5,462 320,519 22-07-2014 04:02 PM
Last Post: WeAreTheCosmos
  Test Thread Hughsie's Mini-Me 2.0 15 185 08-07-2014 12:54 AM
Last Post: Lightvader
  Introduction Winterwolf00 9 90 24-06-2014 07:22 AM
Last Post: Winterwolf00
  Introduction Cat Attack 14 234 19-05-2014 11:11 AM
Last Post: Leo
  I suppose an introduction is in order Ariamythe 9 164 09-05-2014 07:04 PM
Last Post: CindysRain
Rainbow My Shameless Introduction Shameless 16 235 06-05-2014 10:39 PM
Last Post: kim
  Introduction esoteric.youth 11 123 02-05-2014 04:44 PM
Last Post: goodwithoutgod
Forum Jump: