Flirting
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05-12-2013, 11:18 AM
RE: Flirting
(05-12-2013 11:09 AM)BrokenQuill92 Wrote:  
(05-12-2013 11:00 AM)Slowminded Wrote:  I don't think people often hug out of professional curiosity.

What kind of a hug it was? One hand around the shoulders? Chest to chest with both hands around you? Were his hands on your back or on your shoulders ? How long did it last?

Like around the waist,for about a minute hug. Both arms.

Oh my.

That's a sexual hug. Very little doubt about it.

Don't want to scare you or anything , but it's almost a bit creepy, considering that you just met.

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05-12-2013, 11:34 AM
RE: Flirting
(05-12-2013 11:18 AM)Slowminded Wrote:  
(05-12-2013 11:09 AM)BrokenQuill92 Wrote:  Like around the waist,for about a minute hug. Both arms.

Oh my.

That's a sexual hug. Very little doubt about it.

Don't want to scare you or anything , but it's almost a bit creepy, considering that you just met.
Oh my.
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05-12-2013, 11:36 AM
RE: Flirting
(05-12-2013 11:18 AM)Slowminded Wrote:  
(05-12-2013 11:09 AM)BrokenQuill92 Wrote:  Like around the waist,for about a minute hug. Both arms.

Oh my.

That's a sexual hug. Very little doubt about it.

Don't want to scare you or anything , but it's almost a bit creepy, considering that you just met.
Oh my.
I'm going to go blush in a corner somewhere. I'm terribly flustered now.
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05-12-2013, 11:41 AM
RE: Flirting
(04-12-2013 10:46 PM)BrokenQuill92 Wrote:  It doesn't work that way. They're not decorative items to me, they're pieces of me, however cheesy that sounds. Paint and metal and sparkling gems pulled into shape with my imagination. It's almost like what Christians call God. It's so freeing, I can just totally let go. And now I'm going to shut up about my inner most thoughts over the internet.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off as insensitive.

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05-12-2013, 12:46 PM
RE: Flirting
(05-12-2013 11:36 AM)BrokenQuill92 Wrote:  
(05-12-2013 11:18 AM)Slowminded Wrote:  Oh my.

That's a sexual hug. Very little doubt about it.

Don't want to scare you or anything , but it's almost a bit creepy, considering that you just met.
Oh my.
I'm going to go blush in a corner somewhere. I'm terribly flustered now.

Flustered good or flustered bad?

I don't think it's necessarily creepy because you just met though. It sounds like you were attracted to him and he was attracted to you. "Creepy" is very subjective anyway, and the whole relationship timeline thing is entirely artificial. You guys could have had sex in the back room, and I wouldn't have thought less of either of you, even though society might try to shame you into thinking "it's too soon."

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

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05-12-2013, 01:04 PM
RE: Flirting
(05-12-2013 12:46 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  "Creepy" is very subjective anyway, and the whole relationship timeline thing is entirely artificial. You guys could have had sex in the back room, and I wouldn't have thought less of either of you, even though society might try to shame you into thinking "it's too soon."

I like this. Creepy is definitely subjective. Some people are just huggy kind of people. I am not. I enjoy hugging my kids. I tolerate hugging my family and close friends. I hate to be touched. If someone I just met tried to hug me I would probably avoid them from then on. I slapped people who tried to touch my belly when I was pregnant. So for me, yea, definitely creepy. That doesn't mean creepy or sexual for you though. I have friends who will paint themselves onto people and consider it nothing more than a casual hug between friends. If you didn't mind the hug and it didnt make you uncomfortable i wouldn't be concerned. Maybe you should try to subtly flirt with him and see what happens.
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05-12-2013, 01:04 PM
RE: Flirting
(05-12-2013 12:46 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  
(05-12-2013 11:36 AM)BrokenQuill92 Wrote:  Oh my.
I'm going to go blush in a corner somewhere. I'm terribly flustered now.

Flustered good or flustered bad?

I don't think it's necessarily creepy because you just met though. It sounds like you were attracted to him and he was attracted to you. "Creepy" is very subjective anyway, and the whole relationship timeline thing is entirely artificial. You guys could have had sex in the back room, and I wouldn't have thought less of either of you, even though society might try to shame you into thinking "it's too soon."
Not creepy in that way "shame on you, you just met" . More like what gave this guy an idea that he can hug somebody like that. Obviously I don't know how the conversation went, maybe it came naturally, maybe somehow he knew she would like that hug.
But, just imagine that you can't see, and you are having a conversation with somebody ,ok, a very pleasant conversation, but out of the blue you feel arms going around your waist.
That wouldn't freak you out?

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05-12-2013, 01:06 PM
RE: Flirting
(05-12-2013 01:04 PM)Slowminded Wrote:  
(05-12-2013 12:46 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  Flustered good or flustered bad?

I don't think it's necessarily creepy because you just met though. It sounds like you were attracted to him and he was attracted to you. "Creepy" is very subjective anyway, and the whole relationship timeline thing is entirely artificial. You guys could have had sex in the back room, and I wouldn't have thought less of either of you, even though society might try to shame you into thinking "it's too soon."
Not creepy in that way "shame on you, you just met" . More like what gave this guy an idea that he can hug somebody like that. Obviously I don't know how the conversation went, maybe it came naturally, maybe somehow he knew she would like that hug.
But, just imagine that you can't see, and you are having a conversation with somebody ,ok, a very pleasant conversation, but out of the blue you feel arms going around your waist.
That wouldn't freak you out?

It gives me the creeps just thinking about it, but many people I know seem to think it's completely normal.
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05-12-2013, 02:03 PM
RE: Flirting
(05-12-2013 01:04 PM)Slowminded Wrote:  Not creepy in that way "shame on you, you just met" . More like what gave this guy an idea that he can hug somebody like that. Obviously I don't know how the conversation went, maybe it came naturally, maybe somehow he knew she would like that hug.
But, just imagine that you can't see, and you are having a conversation with somebody ,ok, a very pleasant conversation, but out of the blue you feel arms going around your waist.
That wouldn't freak you out?

It's possible that would freak me out, but not necessarily. Without knowing and feeling all the subtleties of the interaction, I can't say for sure.

I will say that hugging women out of the blue probably isn't the most effective strategy. When it comes to physical contact, I view women as skittish horses. Wink If you just throw on a saddle and try to go for a ride you'll probably get kicked in the teeth, but if you slowly get them used to your touch in less threatening ways then you can more easily gauge receptiveness, and a hug or kiss because much less jarring.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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05-12-2013, 03:14 PM
RE: Flirting
(05-12-2013 02:03 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  
(05-12-2013 01:04 PM)Slowminded Wrote:  Not creepy in that way "shame on you, you just met" . More like what gave this guy an idea that he can hug somebody like that. Obviously I don't know how the conversation went, maybe it came naturally, maybe somehow he knew she would like that hug.
But, just imagine that you can't see, and you are having a conversation with somebody ,ok, a very pleasant conversation, but out of the blue you feel arms going around your waist.
That wouldn't freak you out?

It's possible that would freak me out, but not necessarily. Without knowing and feeling all the subtleties of the interaction, I can't say for sure.

I will say that hugging women out of the blue probably isn't the most effective strategy. When it comes to physical contact, I view women as skittish horses. Wink If you just throw on a saddle and try to go for a ride you'll probably get kicked in the teeth, but if you slowly get them used to your touch in less threatening ways then you can more easily gauge receptiveness, and a hug or kiss because much less jarring.

Lol. I don't know why, but that is just funniest thing to me! Your strategy made my day.
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