For free thinkers;
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08-03-2018, 07:43 PM
For free thinkers;
What would you tell an adolescent who has lost hope in life and faith in self, to lift them back up; to afford them the chance to attempt to view the value of their life in a more significant light?

This is the most sincere of inquiries as my eldest son is.....let's just say he's in a bad place, and he is reported to have lost belief in GOD; though I haven't confronted him about such and may not ever.

I will attempt to fill in any missing dialogue to any serious questions...I will see him in in approximately 22 hours.

Thanks in advance

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08-03-2018, 07:49 PM
RE: For free thinkers;
My first instinct it to say that he's and adolescent and there can be a lot of swings in mood during that very hormonal time. Of course actual age has a lot to do with it.

The teen years tend to be the years when young people are trying to find themselves and figure out where they are going.

Save the religion talk for now at least and try to find out the basis for his upset. Maybe he's had a bad breakup or lost a friendship...the reason could seem small to an adult...remember what being a teen was like.

Good luck...it hurts when your kid hurts.

edit - listen more and talk less...you'll have better luck figuring things out.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. -JF
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08-03-2018, 08:50 PM
RE: For free thinkers;
In addition to what anj wrote (and I agree, especially about listening instead of talking), I would like to ask a question. How do you know the adolescent has lost faith in life? Is that just a projection because they no longer believe in god?

The reason I ask this, is because my own grandmother said something similar to me, she said I must be depressed when I mentioned I wasn’t sure god was real.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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08-03-2018, 09:03 PM (This post was last modified: 08-03-2018 09:06 PM by popsthebuilder.)
RE: For free thinkers;
(08-03-2018 08:50 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  In addition to what anj wrote (and I agree, especially about listening instead of talking), I would like to ask a question. How do you know the adolescent has lost faith in life? Is that just a projection because they no longer believe in god?

The reason I ask this, is because my own grandmother said something similar to me, she said I must be depressed when I mentioned I wasn’t sure god was real.
I listen to him and have never spoken about religion with him.

I say he has lost faith because he made another attempt on his life; a rather serious one to the tone of 40 zanax. He is almost wholly indifferent and not wanting to talk about the reason at this time. He is at the Tau center for the second time.




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08-03-2018, 09:10 PM
RE: For free thinkers;
(08-03-2018 09:03 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  
(08-03-2018 08:50 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  In addition to what anj wrote (and I agree, especially about listening instead of talking), I would like to ask a question. How do you know the adolescent has lost faith in life? Is that just a projection because they no longer believe in god?

The reason I ask this, is because my own grandmother said something similar to me, she said I must be depressed when I mentioned I wasn’t sure god was real.
I listen to him and have never spoken about religion with him.

I say he has lost faith because he made another attempt on his life; a rather serious one to the tone of 40 zanax. He is wholly indifferent and not wanting to talk about the reason at this time. He is at the Tau center for the second time.




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People who believe in god commit suicide too. It’s important to remember that. I’m sorry you’re hurting and he’s hurting. Depression, hopelessness and a host of other things are hard to deal with. Life does get better. Sometimes being a companion is important too.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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08-03-2018, 09:15 PM
RE: For free thinkers;
(08-03-2018 07:43 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  What would you tell an adolescent who has lost hope in life and faith in self, to lift them back up; to afford them the chance to attempt to view the value of their life in a more significant light?

Personally, I would ask him about what specifically is bothering him. He is more than likely over-generalizing from some bad experience, as young people tend to do since they have such a narrow range of experiences to generalize from.
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08-03-2018, 09:22 PM
RE: For free thinkers;
(08-03-2018 09:10 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(08-03-2018 09:03 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  I listen to him and have never spoken about religion with him.

I say he has lost faith because he made another attempt on his life; a rather serious one to the tone of 40 zanax. He is wholly indifferent and not wanting to talk about the reason at this time. He is at the Tau center for the second time.




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People who believe in god commit suicide too. It’s important to remember that. I’m sorry you’re hurting and he’s hurting. Depression, hopelessness and a host of other things are hard to deal with. Life does get better. Sometimes being a companion is important too.

Yes.....I will have to be.....allow his freedom to make and learn from his mistakes himself it seems....the time for direction that will be heard has lapsed....I missed it....let it fall on me....alone....

We are relatively close and he does listen and actually understand and agree at times, but seems to be going through a great internal conflict.....to which I can relate....I try to be a good friend to him and a father.

I will try to influence him more positively about his future prospects regardless of his more recent "failings".
Optimism didn't really come to me naturally at first....



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08-03-2018, 09:25 PM
RE: For free thinkers;
(08-03-2018 09:15 PM)Thoreauvian Wrote:  
(08-03-2018 07:43 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  What would you tell an adolescent who has lost hope in life and faith in self, to lift them back up; to afford them the chance to attempt to view the value of their life in a more significant light?

Personally, I would ask him about what specifically is bothering him. He is more than likely over-generalizing from some bad experience, as young people tend to do since they have such a narrow range of experiences to generalize from.

I am aware that I need to find his motive....he doesn't want to talk about it yet.

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08-03-2018, 09:45 PM
RE: For free thinkers;
(08-03-2018 09:22 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  
(08-03-2018 09:10 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  People who believe in god commit suicide too. It’s important to remember that. I’m sorry you’re hurting and he’s hurting. Depression, hopelessness and a host of other things are hard to deal with. Life does get better. Sometimes being a companion is important too.

Yes.....I will have to be.....allow his freedom to make and learn from his mistakes himself it seems....the time for direction that will be heard has lapsed....I missed it....let it fall on me....alone....

We are relatively close and he does listen and actually understand and agree at times, but seems to be going through a great internal conflict.....to which I can relate....I try to be a good friend to him and a father.

I will try to influence him more positively about his future prospects regardless of his more recent "failings".
Optimism didn't really come to me naturally at first....



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Don't focus on his failings or your own. You might want to speak to a therapist yourself about all this. I really do wish you the best Pops. If you need to talk, you can always shoot me a pm.

Hug


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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08-03-2018, 09:46 PM
RE: For free thinkers;
(08-03-2018 09:25 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  
(08-03-2018 09:15 PM)Thoreauvian Wrote:  Personally, I would ask him about what specifically is bothering him. He is more than likely over-generalizing from some bad experience, as young people tend to do since they have such a narrow range of experiences to generalize from.

I am aware that I need to find his motive....he doesn't want to talk about it yet.

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Thoreauvian could well be right. There is another possibility however... that he's just not interested in living. A general malaise. This might be rational rather than emotional and perhaps is aligned to nihilism.

When I was recovering from an OD my father got me to promise not to try again while my mother was still alive. And obviously I've kept that promise. I have since discovered that that state of mind correlates strongly with wheat intake (particularly bread) and is more intense with greater intake.

See if you can get that commitment. I'm not happy that my father took advantage of my weakened state but I do admit that it worked.

Hug

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