For parents: how to raise kind kids
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23-07-2014, 10:56 AM
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
(23-07-2014 10:07 AM)BnW Wrote:  We all live in a community. We all have a responsibility to each other. Somehow, especially in the US, the capitalist ideal has become confused with "every man for himself". Adam Smith would be appalled. Looking out for yourself and being a kind person are never mutually exclusive. There is never an excuse to not be considerate of other people.

It's a fucked up world we live in when that basic notion of humanity is considered as being open to subjective opinion and debate.
Looking out for yourself and being kind are in fact sometimes mutually exclusive. To say they never are is ignoring reality. There are times when looking out for yourself means being unkind. This is simply because there are people in the world that would fuck you over given the slightest chance. When someone tries to take advantage of me should I be kind? Should I be considerate to that person.
Once again the world is grey. Not black and white. There are few absolutes...
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23-07-2014, 06:44 PM
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
Quote:We all live in a community. We all have a responsibility to each other.

I pay my taxes, I don't owe people shit.

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23-07-2014, 08:01 PM (This post was last modified: 23-07-2014 08:23 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
(23-07-2014 06:44 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  
Quote:We all live in a community. We all have a responsibility to each other.

I pay my taxes, I don't owe people shit.

Please report the amount of your tax burden relative to the amount of State support your impoverished ass receives. Drinking Beverage

Last Maori I hired to love you long time couldn't go through with it. "Can't do it boss. Dude is bigoted even against his own kind. Not fouling my cock." TrainWreck might be able to handle it though. I'm gonna start a kickstarter campaign to send TrainWreck to New Zealand. Hilarity will ensue.





This could work. ... Consider

#sigh
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24-07-2014, 11:20 AM
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
The article states that it's not important to emphasize a child's happiness but I think its important to be happy as a child. If a kid is miserable how are they supposed to treat others with kindness.

With my kids it was the golden rule mostly and not a lot of material stuff. Kids don't need lots of stuff when they're growing up. Parents buy kids lots of toys because all the neighborhood kids have them and the parents cave in to the pressure. I guess that's going off in another direction but kindness for others is important. I think it's something that's been lost in all the damn stuff people acquire.

My kids are young adults now and what I tell them these days is to be interested in the person they are talking to. No one seems to be interested in what anyone else has to say, it's all about me and what I have to say. The art of conversation has fallen by the wayside.

In contrast, my mother was one of the great conversationalist to ever live. When I was a teenager and I'd bring some friend home she would strike up a conversation with them and be completely interested in their life and ideas. As a teenager it was a bit embarrassing for them but years later many of them still remembered how thoughtful she was to find a 15 or 16 year old interesting. So I've tried to pass this on to my own kids.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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24-07-2014, 04:26 PM (This post was last modified: 24-07-2014 04:33 PM by Adrianime.)
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
I actually tend to think that all actions, including kindness and charity, are self-serving (i.e. selfishly motivated). That's part of why I "liked" Earmuffs' post (EDIT: and LadyJane's), even though that isn't exactly what he was conveying.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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24-07-2014, 04:49 PM
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
(23-07-2014 06:44 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  
Quote:We all live in a community. We all have a responsibility to each other.

I pay my taxes, I don't owe people shit.

How do you pay taxes when you are unemployed?

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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24-07-2014, 05:31 PM
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
(23-07-2014 07:35 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  "Children need to hear from parents that caring for others is a top priority."

Fuck off.
People are selfish cunts. If you only care about others than you're gonna get shafted in this world.
Care about yourself first so that you can achieve a position where you are than able to care for others properly.
You don't want your kids growing up to be people pleasers. They will go nowhere, be followers not leaders. They will lack confidence and will require permission or confirmation from others before taking action.
You want to develop them to be independent thinkers, confident, able to challenge and make decisions.
Primary focus needs to be on life skills that make them independent.
If they develop the ability to think about consequences then they will naturally learn that if they treat others like rubbish then they will be treated as rubbish in return.
Sometimes you do need to treat others like rubbish, but you need to ensure that you won't be at the mercy of those people later down the line. Sometimes you need to treat people as special just to get them to do things for you.
Teach your kid how to negotiate, how to influence, how to lead.
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24-07-2014, 05:36 PM
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
(24-07-2014 05:31 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(23-07-2014 07:35 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  "Children need to hear from parents that caring for others is a top priority."

Fuck off.
People are selfish cunts. If you only care about others than you're gonna get shafted in this world.
Care about yourself first so that you can achieve a position where you are than able to care for others properly.
You don't want your kids growing up to be people pleasers. They will go nowhere, be followers not leaders. They will lack confidence and will require permission or confirmation from others before taking action.
You want to develop them to be independent thinkers, confident, able to challenge and make decisions.
Primary focus needs to be on life skills that make them independent.
If they develop the ability to think about consequences then they will naturally learn that if they treat others like rubbish then they will be treated as rubbish in return.
Sometimes you do need to treat others like rubbish, but you need to ensure that you won't be at the mercy of those people later down the line. Sometimes you need to treat people as special just to get them to do things for you.
Teach your kid how to negotiate, how to influence, how to lead.

Um - wow, just wow.

Sounds a whole lot like - learn to manipulate people to your advantage and kick the other guy's ass before he kicks yours.

Nice.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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24-07-2014, 05:40 PM
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
(24-07-2014 04:26 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I actually tend to think that all actions, including kindness and charity, are self-serving (i.e. selfishly motivated). That's part of why I "liked" Earmuffs' post (EDIT: and LadyJane's), even though that isn't exactly what he was conveying.

I think this too. People give money to charity because it makes them feel good.
Self-serving. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I mean the charity does get the money so it's a win-win, but I'm just sayin'.

Quote:How do you pay taxes when you are unemployed?

There are other forms of tax besides income tax.
Goods and service tax, a 15% tax on all goods, for example.
As well as the fact that they take taxes out of my unemployment paycheck for whatever reason...

Quote:You don't want your kids growing up to be people pleasers. They will go nowhere, be followers not leaders. They will lack confidence and will require permission or confirmation from others before taking action.
You want to develop them to be independent thinkers, confident, able to challenge and make decisions.
Primary focus needs to be on life skills that make them independent.
If they develop the ability to think about consequences then they will naturally learn that if they treat others like rubbish then they will be treated as rubbish in return.
Sometimes you do need to treat others like rubbish, but you need to ensure that you won't be at the mercy of those people later down the line. Sometimes you need to treat people as special just to get them to do things for you.
Teach your kid how to negotiate, how to influence, how to lead.

This.

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24-07-2014, 05:45 PM
RE: For parents: how to raise kind kids
(24-07-2014 05:36 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(24-07-2014 05:31 PM)Stevil Wrote:  Teach your kid how to negotiate, how to influence, how to lead.

Um - wow, just wow.

Sounds a whole lot like - learn to manipulate people to your advantage and kick the other guy's ass before he kicks yours.

Nice.
I never said "kick the other guy's ass before he kicks yours"
What I did say was
"If they develop the ability to think about consequences then they will naturally learn that if they treat others like rubbish then they will be treated as rubbish in return."
If you teach them to predict consequences then you are teaching them to live their lives with their eyes open rather than walking around like a zombie, obeying imaginary rules and ignoring what real consequences might be.
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