Forced religion on children
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09-11-2015, 06:41 AM
RE: Forced religion on children
(09-11-2015 02:23 AM)Banjo Wrote:  Sounds like the perfect xian. She cares more for her god than she does her own family.

Sadly I have no advice. Does your BIL know about this forum?

That's what is so weird. I remember being taught that J-O-Y acronym in Sunday School as a child. Jesus first, Others second, yourself last. So yes, family is supposed to take a backseat to god. Can't wrap my head around that! I have always said my sister is one of the most unselfish people I know. She's the person who will split the last dollar she has with a stranger if she's in line for a dollar burger, and someone else has no money. She'll babysit for a friend for free if they are struggling, even though she could use the money herself. It doesn't matter if the person in need is a fellow Christian or not. So, I just don't get why she puts her own family's needs on the back burner. BIL knows about the TA podcast, but I'm not sure he knows about this forum.
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09-11-2015, 08:33 AM
RE: Forced religion on children
(08-11-2015 11:33 AM)beeglez Wrote:  I mentioned in a previous thread about my sister and brother in law who are facing a health crisis which is being made worse by religious differences. My sister is DEVOUTLY religious (Baptist), and has become more religious over time. BIL is an atheist. He has taken a live and let live approach, and raised no objections about the children (15 and 5) being taken to church. The problem is, my 15 year old niece also professes to be an atheist, and in recent years, has really pushed back about going to church. She not only resents the intrusion into her free time, but it legitimately makes her feel uncomfortable.

My BIL finally convinced my sister to compromise, and allow my niece to go to church only half the time. She was to go every other Sunday and every other Wednesday. It worked ok for a while but my sister has gradually started going back on the compromise. My sister has really turned to religion during my BIL's illness. Also, her church added a 3rd Sunday morning service. She allow my niece to stay home on Wed evenings, but makes her go to all 3 morning services, plus the evening service every Sunday. They leave for church at 8am, get home at 1pm, and go back at 6pm. She is also forcing her to go to a Christian concert, and wants to force her to teach a children's class. She also makes her go to church camp, and do other youth activities. Church is a full time job for my sister, and she is making it a part time job for my niece. She refuses to budge. She refuses to see that it is seriously damaging the relationship between them. I even bought them a book about interfaith relationships and parenting. BIL will read it, but my sister refuses. I have no idea how to make her see reason. She gets defensive and angry.

Has anyone been through anything similar, and have any advice?

Point out that she lied about the compromise. Lying is a sin. She is hell-bound. Drinking Beverage

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10-11-2015, 02:30 PM
RE: Forced religion on children
I know this isn't helpful, but...holy crap, I feel so bad for that poor kid. I could barely make it through the sheer boredom of one Sunday morning service, let alone three and then another one later! This should count as some kind of child cruelty; she's trying to kill her with boredom! Gasp

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10-11-2015, 04:29 PM
RE: Forced religion on children
(08-11-2015 11:33 AM)beeglez Wrote:  My BIL finally convinced my sister to compromise, and allow my niece to go to church only half the time. She was to go every other Sunday and every other Wednesday. It worked ok for a while but my sister has gradually started going back on the compromise. My sister has really turned to religion during my BIL's illness. Also, her church added a 3rd Sunday morning service. She allow my niece to stay home on Wed evenings, but makes her go to all 3 morning services, plus the evening service every Sunday. They leave for church at 8am, get home at 1pm, and go back at 6pm. She is also forcing her to go to a Christian concert, and wants to force her to teach a children's class. She also makes her go to church camp, and do other youth activities. Church is a full time job for my sister, and she is making it a part time job for my niece. She refuses to budge. She refuses to see that it is seriously damaging the relationship between them. I even bought them a book about interfaith relationships and parenting. BIL will read it, but my sister refuses. I have no idea how to make her see reason. She gets defensive and angry.

Has anyone been through anything similar, and have any advice?

I'd want to know how she is so successful in forcing her daughter to go to church so often? My father and mother in-law have failed miserably in trying to force their youngest daughter to go to Church.

Is it an ultimatum thing she hangs over her head? No cell phone or allowance unless she attends church? What's the consequences if she blatantly refuses to go?

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10-11-2015, 06:08 PM
RE: Forced religion on children
Tomasia, when she refuses to go, it results in a huge argument with my niece screaming and cursing. Then, she gets punished for attitude by losing all electronics. I think that's even worse than church for her.
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17-11-2015, 10:33 AM
RE: Forced religion on children
When I was that age I flat out refused to go to church anymore. I informed my parents that I not only found church to be pointless I found the whole concept of organised religion a complete turn-off. At that time I suppose I had my doubts about the whole concept of a supreme being but wasn't yet an atheist, however the point I made to them was that if I wanted to speak to God, surely I could do that anywhere rather than being in a large building with lots of other people singing songs and listening to boring sermons.

Thankfully my parents were tolerant and willing to listen.

Maybe ask your BIL to talk to daughter to get her to articulate her objections to church so that it can be explained to your sister in an adult manner rather then seeming to come across as the vague stroppy rebelliousness of a teenage girl.
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17-11-2015, 10:43 AM
RE: Forced religion on children
My daughter will most likely not be allowed to go with friends to any religious activity until she's a teenager, or if she does younger, I or her father will be with her.
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17-11-2015, 04:40 PM (This post was last modified: 17-11-2015 04:46 PM by Takelababy.)
RE: Forced religion on children
If her religion is working for her, why is her hubby not well? I saw a poster the other day after the Paris bombing. Don't pray for Paris Donate blood, money, open your door to those in need. Hooking the kids is what religion is about. Once they are brain washed it assures future membership. (money)
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27-11-2015, 04:50 PM
RE: Forced religion on children
Unfortunately this is why some kids run away and there's no one who will party hardier than a kid from such a setting. These kids often wind up living on the streets or pregnant or both. I'm so sorry that the mother is blind to these possibilities.
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