Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
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09-06-2013, 05:33 PM
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
(10-04-2013 07:28 AM)jasonetc Wrote:  "Dear Parents,
Students will have the opportunity to talk with their teacher or parent (if you attend) to share if they want to accept Christ or simply to ask questions. They will not be pressured in any way.

Sure as heck doesn't sound like it.

I dunno, it depends on your kid I guess does he lean toward freethought or is he easily dazed by the pulpit? Obviously the best choice is to get them out of there, but even that comes with consequences (new school new people, etc.) but the sooner the better for minimizing social damage. Otherwise the outcome will either be having a religious kid (which you don't seem to want), having an openly freethinking kid in a Baptist school (it was hard for me in Catholic HS, I can only imagine what it would be like in a Baptist school). Maybe the best case senario is to teach him to feign religiosity, but it strikes me as a little disingenuous and it's hard to moral justify that kind of thing to a kid.

Mine is only 1 1/2 and me and the lady are already having this discussion, she doesn't feel like public school is good enough in our area and has already given me the move or pay for private school ultimatum (which unless you really want to shell out the dough is Catholic school). I think no matter which option we the solution is going to be to make myself vital in her history/science courses and arm her with secular knowledge and critical thinking skills before they get to her and when she has questions or concerns.

At the very least I would take the kid for a drive, get him a hotdog or an icecream or something and prep him for what is going to happen at this assembly, hopefully you can do that without belittling mom. Tell him about the scary things they might say about hell, that some people take old books too seriously, teach him that just because someone in a fancy suit says something through a P-A doesn't make it true. Teach him that part of being a man is making choices and decisions and that the best tool for making decisions is knowledge and then if there is time you should teach him the basic tentants of the major religions, agnosticism, and atheism. Kids who know a thing or two about Judaism and Islam and Buddism and the Indian gods, etc are going to be better equipped to understand that all religion is horse shit, even if the processes is long and he jumps around a bit. I plan to pull and Mama Obama and take her to visit all a bunch of different temples and churches so that she understands that a big roof does not make it truth.

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11-06-2013, 09:15 AM
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
I would still like to drive home the point that your 7 year old son is ALREADY defying you because of his indoctrination. This is not good in any way shape or form. I would immediately pull him out of school and lay down the law with your wife stating that until he learns to accept your opinions equally he will not be brainwashed. If my son told me that I knew nothing and Jesus knew everything I'd seriously start challenging him to prove himself right, even if he was 7. At 7 years old, Daddy is always right.

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11-06-2013, 10:07 AM
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
I have only read the OP but wanted to tell you that I understand. Our public schools are horrible in NC. I pulled my oldest daughter out half way thru kindergarten with a police report in hand.

Find a secular private school!!! It will probably cost a MOUNTAIN of money, most have financial aid programs. We sacrifice a lot to send our kids there....but in the end its worth it, IMO.
We tried a year at an Episcopal school because it was cheaper and I had heard "light" on religion compared to the baptists.....don't believe it for a second and every chance they get they are putting Jesus in the curriculum.

Religion preys on young children because they know it works. Many churches have done studies that show the best age to get to them that makes it stick. In our area many religious schools are preK thru grade 8. Because after grade 8 the child is brainwashed by then or isn't.


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11-06-2013, 10:14 AM
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
(11-04-2013 05:38 AM)Aseptic Skeptic Wrote:  Also give them alternative answers. Tell them what you believe.


THIS. They need to hear from YOU. You are also their parent. Your ideas have just as much merit as your wife's.

This is the most important nugget of advice. Your children need to know there is an alternative...that has reason & logic & evidence.


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11-06-2013, 11:34 AM
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
(10-04-2013 09:19 AM)jasonetc Wrote:  I have thought, that with me not mentioning anything remotely religious with my kids and my wife doing all of the ministry work in the home, the kids will have some sort of balance. They will notice that Dad's not gung ho on God & Jesus and that maybe it's not so important. I am really deep down just trying to hold out until they are old enough where I can be honest with them about it. At that point, if my wife is unhappy, she can go find someone else.

Sorry this is happening to you. My concern is that your allowing your wife to be in control of this aspect of your kids' lives is going to backfire if you don't stand up for yourself - and ultimately for your children - ASAP. If you try to stop the religious schooling now that it's begun, your wife will think she is being persecuted. If you don't speak up your children *will* be brainwashed. They will be taught that their dad is going to hell. They will be made fearful of things that don't exist, like the devil, demons, hell, etc.

You might take the approach of getting your kids interested in superhero stories. I love that there are movies like "Thor" now - because it gives you a chance to talk about the beliefs that people have held in the past that nobody believes in now, like Norse gods and ancient Greek and Roman gods. Even Santa Claus - if your kids believe in those stories, the day will come when they no longer believe in the tales we tell them. They need to know that they can always - and should always - feel welcome to question the tales grown ups tell. They need to know that you'll answer them as honestly as you know how, and that anyone who wants them to not ask questions is hiding the truth from them.

More than anything, I feel that NOW is the time to put your foot down - this is the age most religions target the vulnerable 'magical thinking' stage that is normal in children and use it to plant their mind viruses. You wouldn't deliberately expose your kids to a physical disease that would make them sick for a few days or weeks, so don't expose them to a mental conditioning program that will mess them up for years with unnecessary fears and anxieties.

. . . all the gods were stories we told the children to make them behave. ~ Thoros of Myr (Game of Thrones, Episode 3:06)
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12-06-2013, 07:21 AM (This post was last modified: 12-06-2013 07:25 AM by Bows and Arrows.)
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
I came across this today and I thought of this thread.
Great resource guide for parents to teach children critical thinking, etc.

explore the webiste....lots of great info for parents & teachers.

Humanism-How to teach kids critical thinking.


you have to scroll down the page to get to the critical thinking part.


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17-06-2013, 08:46 PM
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
Probably a late reply,and probably not much help,but here goes:
Please put them in a public school. I spent my last 12 years in a religious school. If you think its going to be fine,its not. I have been misled by fear of god's wrath and the last 3 years(when i didnt believe) where hell. learn them about REAL science when they are around 8ish. Practise free thought and logical thinking, like If they see something, ask them what they think,ect.
They are probably gonna notice that your not preaching about god,so the questions will come sooner or later.
I think i will cheat on this later. If i have a wife and kids. If she insists that i take my kids to church, ill insist that they go to a "real" church and not youth service. And im gonna search the most boring church ever and bring them there. Sooner or later they will not want to go there Laugh out load i know its disshonest,but i'll do that to protect my kids.

I hope i dont find a preachy wife later on...



Best of luck

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17-06-2013, 08:49 PM
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
And dont forget to show them documentrys(prob. spelled wrong) about how the universe came into existence,and the universe itself,and evolution.

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18-06-2013, 07:23 AM
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
I, too, hope you can find some kind of alternative for them. I'm thinking that this just must be so confusing for them, even if (or especially if) you counter the school's teachings with your own. I have two in second grade and a Kindergartener, and there is such a need for them to trust their teachers right now. Even for non-controversial subjects, their ability to learn is dependent on their willingness to believe everything that comes from these figures of authority. I'd also introduce some age-appropriate books about critical thinking, like Maybe Yes, Maybe No. I liked that one because it wasn't about religion, per se, just about the process of seeking evidence. I also found Dale McGowan's pair (Raising Freethinkers and Parenting Beyond Belief) helpful at this age because it helped me become more comfortable with my own responsibilities in this department. Good luck.
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18-06-2013, 07:34 AM
RE: Freaking Out a Bit about Religion In School
(18-06-2013 07:23 AM)princess.flapjack Wrote:  I, too, hope you can find some kind of alternative for them. I'm thinking that this just must be so confusing for them, even if (or especially if) you counter the school's teachings with your own. I have two in second grade and a Kindergartener, and there is such a need for them to trust their teachers right now. Even for non-controversial subjects, their ability to learn is dependent on their willingness to believe everything that comes from these figures of authority. I'd also introduce some age-appropriate books about critical thinking, like Maybe Yes, Maybe No. I liked that one because it wasn't about religion, per se, just about the process of seeking evidence. I also found Dale McGowan's pair (Raising Freethinkers and Parenting Beyond Belief) helpful at this age because it helped me become more comfortable with my own responsibilities in this department. Good luck.

You are so right- I hadn't even thought about the teacher approval.

At this age they want & crave the approval of their teacher. They want to be great students and that means doing what the teacher asks. Its a developmental stage in the child-not something you can just talk out of him. I have similar battles with my child on simple things like the teacher asking the child to bring a #2 pencil and telling the class a #2 pencil will be stamped with a #2. If I give my child a pencil without the stamp-then I am defying the teacher and we have a power struggle on our hands, and it doesn't matter to my child whether or not I'm certain its most likely a #2. The stamp isn't there. It's not what the teacher wants and the child craves the teachers approval.


Be excellent to each other and party on, Dudes!
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