Friend died
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09-05-2013, 02:26 PM
RE: Friend died
(09-05-2013 01:36 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 01:22 PM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  You are facing the fact that even at a young age, you are mortal.

I know *that*, old bean Tongue I think, as you say, it's more that he was one of our crowd and we were all young and stupid and we all thought we'd live forever.

Actually, you don't "know" that. You are intellectually aware of it. I don't really know how to express what I want to say. Unsure

The understanding of death comes very slowly, bit by bit, step by step, over decades. It sounds like you just received a big serving of it and are unsure why you feel the way you feel. No particular reason, it just happened to penetrate on a deeper level. For some reason, you relate to it. And that is a shock.

It's all good, it's growth. Long as you don't enter guilt into the equation. Hindsight and all that.

Flow with it, let your thoughts drift freely and you'll have made a wonderful advance in coping with life. Life and death - they are inseparable. And that's not a bad thing at all, barring unforeseen events, when it happens to yourself, you'll be ready for it.

Sorry for carrying on about it. I don't seem to be able to express just what I mean.

Meanwhile, I am sorry you feel badly. Wish I could give you a big bear hug. Hug

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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09-05-2013, 03:59 PM
RE: Friend died
Hug

You're never going to say the things you want to say.
The things you want to change will usually stay that way
The promises you break outweigh the ones you keep.
Paint upon the wall for the hundredth time.

Jesus Jones
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09-05-2013, 05:50 PM
RE: Friend died
Sorry to hear, MD Hug

Humankind Dodgy (a total misnomer)
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09-05-2013, 06:30 PM
RE: Friend died
(09-05-2013 01:08 PM)morondog Wrote:  I just went on FB... as one does... and I saw that a guy I used to know died. Went to uni with him. He was always a crazy, like completely crazy fucker. TBH I didn't really know him that well, I don't even know why he died, except it seems to have been after a long illness.

I'm feeling shitty now Sad I could have emailed him, could have visited him, he was living in Joburg. He was a nice guy. I didn't even know he was sick...

Fucking death Sad

So much death here lately. Girly was gonna visit GirlyBro this summer in Tokyo and we was going to a dohyƍ for a proper introduction to sumo. Ain't gonna happen now. But regret, like guilt, is a counterproductive emotion Girly will not admit into my establishment. It don't matter anymore so I ain't gonna dwell on it.

Breathing - it's more art than science.
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09-05-2013, 06:35 PM
RE: Friend died
My sympathies to you. Don't beat yourself up; make sure you're there for those you know who are still alive and let them know how much you care about them.
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09-05-2013, 11:47 PM
RE: Friend died
(09-05-2013 01:22 PM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 01:19 PM)morondog Wrote:  Yeah. Not feeling guilty per se. Just... I dunno why but it's hitting me pretty hard.

There is a big difference between someone passing away who is much older than you of something other than an accident, and someone your own age.

You are facing the fact that even at a young age, you are mortal.

Yeah, that and sometimes, depending on age, there is the idea that the person should have lived longer and mourning that idea. I had a friend who died when she was 17, we were best friends in kindergarten but not as close later on, and I felt like a lot of the grief I felt was that I wished she could have had a longer life. Hell, even my dad dying at 61, i had thoughts about things like he wasn't even old enough to retire yet, I wished he'd have stuck around to retire and relax at least a few years.
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