Friends and atheism
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27-08-2013, 05:44 AM
Friends and atheism
Wow, it is truly remarkable the people you lose when you tell them you don't believe like they do anymore. The more people me and my husband tell, the less friends we have. I've heard stories online from other atheists who lost family and friends over non-belief, but I guess I thought it couldn't happen with my group of friends. I thought surely my group of Christian friends would love me and my husband regardless. Yet, my husband hasn't been invited to the weekly guys night since he told one of the guys about his atheism. My husband is so disappointed...and so am I. This only makes us more afraid to tell anyone else! I don't care if my friends want to be Christians; I just want to be accepted for my atheism! I feel so looked down upon.

It's tough going from a whole community of people who are your "church family" to not really being sure who your friends are. I'm new to atheism this year. What did you guys do about making new friends?

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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27-08-2013, 07:37 AM
RE: Friends and atheism
Atleast you have us Tongue

KC IS A LIAR!!!! HE PROMISED ME VANILLA CAKES AND GAVE ME STRAWBERRY CAKE Weeping
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27-08-2013, 11:16 AM
RE: Friends and atheism
(27-08-2013 07:37 AM)Lightvader Wrote:  Atleast you have us Tongue

That is exactly why I'll be spending more time on the forum! I now understand why atheists live online. lol

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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27-08-2013, 02:04 PM
RE: Friends and atheism
My time spent online is way more than the time socializing in real live Sad

KC IS A LIAR!!!! HE PROMISED ME VANILLA CAKES AND GAVE ME STRAWBERRY CAKE Weeping
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27-08-2013, 11:18 PM (This post was last modified: 27-08-2013 11:23 PM by Swedgen.)
RE: Friends and atheism
(27-08-2013 05:44 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Wow, it is truly remarkable the people you lose when you tell them you don't believe like they do anymore. The more people me and my husband tell, the less friends we have. I've heard stories online from other atheists who lost family and friends over non-belief, but I guess I thought it couldn't happen with my group of friends. I thought surely my group of Christian friends would love me and my husband regardless. Yet, my husband hasn't been invited to the weekly guys night since he told one of the guys about his atheism. My husband is so disappointed...and so am I. This only makes us more afraid to tell anyone else! I don't care if my friends want to be Christians; I just want to be accepted for my atheism! I feel so looked down upon.

It's tough going from a whole community of people who are your "church family" to not really being sure who your friends are. I'm new to atheism this year. What did you guys do about making new friends?

Interesting position to be in. I don't have that many openly Christian friends to begin with, a couple of family members, but really not a lot. I've reached a point however where I don't want my daughter wondering why Daddy tiptoes around certain people, or that I have to be quiet - so when people ask me I tell them quite honestly my views. I don't call religious people idiots (although I absolutely think their beliefs are idiotic), but I'll happily talk all day to anyone about why I've come to those conclusions.

Had a tense moment over Easter when my wife assumed I'd be eating fish with everyone else on Good Friday. It's not that I mind eating fish, but I do mind being expected to fall in with everyone else. So I ate meat instead.

Good luck.
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28-08-2013, 06:11 AM
RE: Friends and atheism
(27-08-2013 02:04 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  My time spent online is way more than the time socializing in real live Sad

Same here. Undecided

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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28-08-2013, 06:14 AM
RE: Friends and atheism
[/quote]

Interesting position to be in. I don't have that many openly Christian friends to begin with, a couple of family members, but really not a lot. I've reached a point however where I don't want my daughter wondering why Daddy tiptoes around certain people, or that I have to be quiet - so when people ask me I tell them quite honestly my views. I don't call religious people idiots (although I absolutely think their beliefs are idiotic), but I'll happily talk all day to anyone about why I've come to those conclusions.

Had a tense moment over Easter when my wife assumed I'd be eating fish with everyone else on Good Friday. It's not that I mind eating fish, but I do mind being expected to fall in with everyone else. So I ate meat instead.

Good luck.
[/quote]

I know what you mean. I just hate that, no matter what, most Christians will not except me for who I am. It's frustrating because that cuts my choice of friends down quite a lot!! Especially with the fact that I'm in the south, surrounded by churches on every corner.

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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28-08-2013, 06:16 AM
RE: Friends and atheism
LOL oops, I totally messed up your quote. Blush

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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28-08-2013, 06:30 AM
RE: Friends and atheism
Just remember that atheist does not automatically mean friend. Conversely, religious does not mean stranger. Always judge a person on their trustworthiness, empathy, reason, etc. Whether they're religious or not. I've known some pretty humanitarian, rational and ethical religious people and some very racist, sexist, and violent atheists.

I may at one time have been an edgy antitheist who pushed most people who I thought were religious but good people away.

Does the person make you feel good? Do they challenge you? Do they provide assistance in one form or another? And do you reciprocate these things as well? If so, that's a good sign they're a good friend.
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28-08-2013, 06:35 AM
RE: Friends and atheism
(28-08-2013 06:30 AM)PoolBoyG Wrote:  Just remember that atheist does not automatically mean friend. Conversely, religious does not mean stranger. Always judge a person on their trustworthiness, empathy, reason, etc. Whether they're religious or not. I've known some pretty humanitarian, rational and ethical religious people and some very racist, sexist, and violent atheists.

I may at one time have been an edgy antitheist who pushed most people who I thought were religious but good people away.

Does the person make you feel good? Do they challenge you? Do they provide assistance in one form or another? And do you reciprocate these things as well? If so, that's a good sign they're a good friend.

I agree! Like I said, I don't mind having friends who are Christians, I just want my Christian friends to accept my atheism. It feels like my group of Christian friends only were my friends because I was a Christian too. Confused

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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