Fucked up Jesus genealogy
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24-04-2015, 09:43 PM
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
Matthew must have watched the Maury Povich show. He spent the entire first chapter establishing Jebus' lineage through Joseph, then has his Maury moment :
"Joseph .... you are NOT the father". Then Joseph gets up and dances and spins around, and the music plays.

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25-04-2015, 01:57 AM
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
(24-04-2015 06:49 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 05:54 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Joseph is on the list to show that Jesus was genealogically linked (via adoption) to David. The biblical authors needed to add this in to *make it work* that Jesus was who they said he was. It needed to fulfill the Old Testament passages like this one: "I will place over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he will tend them; he will tend them and be their shepherd. 24 I the Lord will be their God, and my servant David will be prince among them. I the Lord have spoken." (Ezekiel 34:23-24).

But....but.....Blush this doesn't make any sense at ALLLLL. How can Jesus be related to David if........I mean.........what......who........Hobo there's no blood connection....no dna going on here if god impregnates a little Jewish girl and Joe's not the daddy. How do religious nuts get around this?


I'm so confused. Knights who say NI!

Easily enough I think. It is not as it is only inconsistence in Bible or only thing that;s impossible.
One rather should question why christians are against in vitro when one looks on method of Jesus conception Wink

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25-04-2015, 04:59 AM
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
(24-04-2015 08:26 PM)unfogged Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 05:56 PM)goodwithoutgod Wrote:  I thought it was the "immaculate conception"? lol

The immaculate conception was Mary, not Jesus. I remember very little of Catholic CCD (too young and never paid much attention) but I do remember that bit.
Cool

Not that that makes the Joseph genealogies any less ridiculous. That's the trouble with making shit up; you forget which lie you told and to whom.

ack! good catch, I crossed terms in my lil head.....it is common to mix the two concepts, you are absolutely correct, immaculate conception was "the conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary in her mother's womb free from original sin by virtue of the foreseen merits of her son Jesus Christ." Rolleyes

Whereas the virgin birth of Jesus is "the belief that Jesus was conceived in the womb of his mother Mary through the Holy Spirit without the agency of a human father and born while Mary was yet a virgin".

so hard sometimes to keep the fairy tale concepts organized in me ol brain Laugh out load

The point I was trying to make was Jospeh clearly wasn't the father, in accordance with Xtian doctrine, and David wasn't relevant to jesus in anyway, it was just more of their efforts to somehow line up jesus to royal blood to fulfill prophesies. A point xtians miss..

thank you for the poke, gettin ol and senile before my time, but then i have been up all night studying for my final which is in 1 hour Weeping

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25-04-2015, 05:41 AM
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
(25-04-2015 04:59 AM)goodwithoutgod Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 08:26 PM)unfogged Wrote:  The immaculate conception was Mary, not Jesus. I remember very little of Catholic CCD (too young and never paid much attention) but I do remember that bit.
Cool

Not that that makes the Joseph genealogies any less ridiculous. That's the trouble with making shit up; you forget which lie you told and to whom.

ack! good catch, I crossed terms in my lil head.....it is common to mix the two concepts, you are absolutely correct, immaculate conception was "the conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary in her mother's womb free from original sin by virtue of the foreseen merits of her son Jesus Christ." Rolleyes

Whereas the virgin birth of Jesus is "the belief that Jesus was conceived in the womb of his mother Mary through the Holy Spirit without the agency of a human father and born while Mary was yet a virgin".

so hard sometimes to keep the fairy tale concepts organized in me ol brain Laugh out load

The point I was trying to make was Jospeh clearly wasn't the father, in accordance with Xtian doctrine, and David wasn't relevant to jesus in anyway, it was just more of their efforts to somehow line up jesus to royal blood to fulfill prophesies. A point xtians miss..

thank you for the poke, gettin ol and senile before my time, but then i have been up all night studying for my final which is in 1 hour Weeping

... but ... but ... they can certainly try to explain that away. It gets pretty convoluted, and hilarious, but they do try. Facepalm
http://www.annomundi.com/bible/virgin_birth.htm

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27-04-2015, 10:48 AM
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
Matthew gives Joseph's genealogy, Luke gives Mary's. Joseph was in the royal line and would have been king if the monarchy had continued. It was through him that Jesus became king of the Jews. Mary was a descendant of David through his son Nathan and it was through her that Jesus was a biological descendant of David.

https://clydeherrin.wordpress.com/2014/0...-of-jesus/

https://carm.org/bible-difficulties/matt...and-luke-3

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27-04-2015, 11:17 AM
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
(27-04-2015 10:48 AM)theophilus Wrote:  Matthew gives Joseph's genealogy, Luke gives Mary's. Joseph was in the royal line and would have been king if the monarchy had continued. It was through him that Jesus became king of the Jews. Mary was a descendant of David through his son Nathan and it was through her that Jesus was a biological descendant of David.

https://clydeherrin.wordpress.com/2014/0...-of-jesus/

https://carm.org/bible-difficulties/matt...and-luke-3

I've heard that "explanation" before, and I'm not buying it. Luke doesn't say anything about Mary. He clearly says that Joseph (not Mary) was the son of Heli. If he meant Mary, he would have said Mary.

I love the way people insist on reading the Bible literally -- until they encounter a contradiction. Then, of course, it doesn't mean what it says. In this case, I find it highly implausible that it means anything other than what it says -- that Joseph (not Mary) was the son of Heli.
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27-04-2015, 12:29 PM
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
(27-04-2015 10:48 AM)theophilus Wrote:  Matthew gives Joseph's genealogy, Luke gives Mary's. Joseph was in the royal line and would have been king if the monarchy had continued. It was through him that Jesus became king of the Jews. Mary was a descendant of David through his son Nathan and it was through her that Jesus was a biological descendant of David.

https://clydeherrin.wordpress.com/2014/0...-of-jesus/

https://carm.org/bible-difficulties/matt...and-luke-3

Except according to Jewish interpretations--(you know the guys who wrote the Old Testament)--the Messiah (which christians attribute to Jesus) was going to come into the world naturally through human parents and according to Jews, the messiah was NOT going to have superhuman abilities.

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27-04-2015, 01:01 PM (This post was last modified: 27-04-2015 01:05 PM by dancefortwo.)
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
(27-04-2015 11:17 AM)Grasshopper Wrote:  
(27-04-2015 10:48 AM)theophilus Wrote:  Matthew gives Joseph's genealogy, Luke gives Mary's. Joseph was in the royal line and would have been king if the monarchy had continued. It was through him that Jesus became king of the Jews. Mary was a descendant of David through his son Nathan and it was through her that Jesus was a biological descendant of David.

https://clydeherrin.wordpress.com/2014/0...-of-jesus/

https://carm.org/bible-difficulties/matt...and-luke-3

I've heard that "explanation" before, and I'm not buying it. Luke doesn't say anything about Mary. He clearly says that Joseph (not Mary) was the son of Heli. If he meant Mary, he would have said Mary.



I love the way people insist on reading the Bible literally -- until they encounter a contradiction. Then, of course, it doesn't mean what it says. In this case, I find it highly implausible that it means anything other than what it says -- that Joseph (not Mary) was the son of Heli.

Yup. There is no Mary on either list. Here they are side by side.

Matthew 1:6-16 Luke 3:23-31
David David
Solomon Nathan
Rehoboam Mattatha
Abijah Menna
Asaph Melea
Jehoshaphat Eliakim
Joram Jonam
Uzziah Joseph
Jotham Judah
Ahaz Simeon
Hezekiah Levi
Manasseh Matthat
Amos Jorim
Josiah Eliezer
Jechoniah Joshua
Salathiel Er
Zerubbabel Elmadam
Abiud Cosam
Eliakim Addi
Azor Melchi
Zadok Neri
Achim Shealtiel
Eliud Zerubbabel
Eleazar Rhesa
Matthan Joanan
Jacob Joda
Joseph Josech
Jesus Semein
Mattathias
Maath
Naggai
Esli
Nahum
Amos
Mattathias
Joseph
Jannai
Melchi
Levi
Matthat
Heli
Joseph
Jesus


Edit: Hummm. This list isn't posting in a side by side format. The names from below Semein are on the Luke list.

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27-04-2015, 02:41 PM
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
This thread is just asking for some of these.

[Image: mary-and-joseph-213280_w1000.jpg]

[Image: funny-joseph-mary-god-sex-pics.jpg]

[Image: funny-Mary-pregnant-test.jpg]

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The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
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27-04-2015, 03:26 PM
RE: Fucked up Jesus genealogy
Quote:Matthew gives Joseph's genealogy,


What's fucking joseph got to do with it, Theo. It wasn't his dick that got in there.

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