Funeral advice
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10-02-2014, 04:43 PM
Funeral advice
I'm a high school student and one of my classmates just died in a plane crash along with her mom and grandparents. We weren't extremely close, but I guess you could call us friends. Her funeral is coming up, and my parents think I shouldn't go. They're both very devout Catholics, and they say that since the family was Christian it would be disrespectful for me to attend. I really feel like I should go and show my support, though. Thoughts?
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10-02-2014, 04:57 PM
RE: Funeral advice
I'm sorry for your loss. I've never heard of that. Maybe your parents have other reasons? I wouid try to talk about it.

My family was mostly catholic and that's never stopped us from honoring the dead.


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10-02-2014, 09:31 PM
RE: Funeral advice
I would go. It is not in the slightest bit disrespectful.
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10-02-2014, 09:49 PM
RE: Funeral advice
Exactly what is disrespectful about paying your respects to a friend? I'm astounded that they would think it inappropriate for you to be there.

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10-02-2014, 10:44 PM
RE: Funeral advice
As the first reply suggested ...you should talk to your parents.
And when you do ask them 'how is showing respect and compassion for my friend and their grieving family disrespectful' and then 'in what way are you going against the tenants of your religion/church by saying farewell to your christian friend'.

They might quote scripture ...if they do be sure to inspect it. Not just the few lines they give you the whole passage. - Is the passage actually talking about the same situation or has someone just made something up to prevent grieving Catholics from attending other churches? ...and are they presuming you are going to the funeral to worship a 'false god' or just to say goodbye.

It could just be that they dont think you would be able to handle attending such an event at your age, or it could be that they have fears about you mingling with other 'faiths'. ...the only way to find out is to have that conversation.

Peace & good luck!
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11-02-2014, 01:06 AM
RE: Funeral advice
(10-02-2014 10:44 PM)Beat Scientist Wrote:  As the first reply suggested ...you should talk to your parents.
And when you do ask them 'how is showing respect and compassion for my friend and their grieving family disrespectful' and then 'in what way are you going against the tenants of your religion/church by saying farewell to your christian friend'.

They might quote scripture ...if they do be sure to inspect it. Not just the few lines they give you the whole passage. - Is the passage actually talking about the same situation or has someone just made something up to prevent grieving Catholics from attending other churches? ...and are they presuming you are going to the funeral to worship a 'false god' or just to say goodbye.

It could just be that they dont think you would be able to handle attending such an event at your age, or it could be that they have fears about you mingling with other 'faiths'. ...the only way to find out is to have that conversation.

Peace & good luck!

I guess I should have been more specific; their problem is that I'm a nonbeliever, not that the service is at a Protestant church. The way my mom put it, I "don't believe that the deceased are in heaven, and that's what a funeral is all about". Also, they know I can handle funerals. I've been to 4 that I can remember, including one of my classmates back in sixth grade. Unfortunately, I'm pretty experienced for my age. I guess I will have to have that discussion, though.
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11-02-2014, 01:26 AM
RE: Funeral advice
Going to the funeral will help you with closure. Also, your support, showing that you care, often benefits the living--gives meaning to lives that once were.

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story." Orson Welles
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11-02-2014, 08:17 AM
RE: Funeral advice
funerals are for saying goodbye to a friend.
funerals are for saying kind words to a family that is hurting.
funerals are for offering a hug and compassion to friends and others.


atheists have funerals too…..some have prayers and rituals….they won't hurt you-and you probably know how to sit quietly and be respectful to others while they do the things that they find comfort in during difficult times, right?


Be excellent to each other and party on, Dudes!
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11-02-2014, 08:19 AM
RE: Funeral advice
(11-02-2014 01:06 AM)cattiberra Wrote:  The way my mom put it, I "don't believe that the deceased are in heaven, and that's what a funeral is all about".

your mother is wrong--and you can tell her this mother said so.


Be excellent to each other and party on, Dudes!
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12-02-2014, 03:09 PM
RE: Funeral advice
(11-02-2014 01:26 AM)Dee Wrote:  Going to the funeral will help you with closure. Also, your support, showing that you care, often benefits the living--gives meaning to lives that once were.

This.
Consider if you would regret not going.

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