Funeral advice
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
12-02-2014, 07:28 PM (This post was last modified: 12-02-2014 07:43 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Funeral advice
(11-02-2014 01:06 AM)cattiberra Wrote:  I guess I should have been more specific; their problem is that I'm a nonbeliever, not that the service is at a Protestant church. The way my mom put it, I "don't believe that the deceased are in heaven, and that's what a funeral is all about".

Compromise. Wear a suit and tie, bow your head when everyone else is doing so, say goodbye to your friend then, and tell your mom you'll believe in heaven with the rest of you but only for the day. Had to do the "Believer for a Day" with my mom even though she's known I been an atheist going on 4 decades as we buried my atheist brother. He would've been proud. Mom needed it, he couldn't have given less of a shit, and it ain't that hard to do for just a day. ... And the food is usually delicious.

This is not my signature.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like GirlyMan's post
13-02-2014, 12:47 PM
RE: Funeral advice
My father was a Protestant Minister and people of all religions attended his funeral to show their respect for him to the family. We felt honored that a number of the heads of these churches attended. It had nothing to do with religion. These people had had past dealings with my father and respected his wisdom, as he did theirs.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Takelababy's post
16-02-2014, 05:44 PM
RE: Funeral advice
Funerals aren't for the dead, they are to help the living heal by remembering. In October my Mother in law passed away. I found the wake and funeral to be very helpful, despite not believing the "she's in a better place" line that kept being fed to my wife and I. Like someone said before, just go with the flow, bow your head, and be respectful of their beliefs.

(Note: none of her family knows I'm an atheist, so it's slightly different.)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-02-2014, 07:23 PM
RE: Funeral advice
Probably by know you either are there or not. Next time though, if something is important for me and my mom is going against it I will prepare my best arguments to talk to her about how not doing that specific thing would make me feel. I'm a grown up man but still try to speak my mind to my mom everytime she disagrees with me on something. Most of the time sadly no matter what I say and how good my arguments are she will still disagree with me cause that's how most old folks are, but remember they love you no matter what so at least they will try to ACCEPT your position even when they don't agree with it. If they know it is important to you they might opent their minds a little if what you say makes sense.

I hope this helps a little.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-02-2014, 09:17 AM
RE: Funeral advice
I agree with Caveman. Consider how not going will affect you. If it's going to be something you will regret, then the best thing you can do is go. Going to a friend's funeral to remember them and support those who are grieving is the furthest thing from disrespectful.

I am still learning. --Michelangelo, age 87
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
27-02-2014, 11:55 PM
RE: Funeral advice
Would you share the final decision?

Aspiring optimist
Eternal Pragmatist.
With the uncanny ability to see all sides in every argument.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: