Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
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19-11-2012, 12:51 AM (This post was last modified: 19-11-2012 12:55 AM by Buddy Christ.)
Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
I've bout "out" since I was 18. The first people to notice and/or stop pretending were my sisters and my brother. And only after years of being told by my sisters did my mother and grandma finally start to cave in to reality. So now here's a few things I have to deal with regularly as "the atheist."


My grandma will call me on a regular basis to tell me about a Satan worshiper she heard about who killed his kids and sacrificed animals.

Since atheism = Satanism to the religious, she's trying to stop my dark magic and worship of the Dark Lord... Volde... I mean Satan. She still always ends every conversation with "God still loves you" or "you'll be a minister one day."


During family prayers (holidays and such), the less religious of the family will look at me to see if I"m bowed with my eyes closed (which I never do) and they smile.

My sisters are pretty much atheists too, but they'll never say that out loud. They don't care either way and will joke around during prayer.


Anytime someone on TV says something about being saved by God or something being a miracle or even the word God is mentioned, a family member will look at me and say, "See? You can't explain that."

And I'll usually just give a head shake and smile. I only spread my views through facebook posts directed at no one. That way, no one is offended and I don't drive a wedge into relationships.


Any good luck is my life is always pointed out as a sign from God showing that he wants me to repent.

I never understood this one. I will never be a theist again. It's not a phase and not a loosely based opinion. Atheism makes as much sense to me as knowing that if I put my hand in a fire, I will get burned. I'm never going to assume ever again that it won't burn. So God knows this and chooses to bless me with good fortune? So why would I ever become a theist again if I can continue to get bribery presents from God? Once I sign the recruitment papers, he ignores me. But if I remain unsigned I can reap all the attention and rewards? Don't mind if I do.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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19-11-2012, 01:10 AM
RE: Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
(19-11-2012 12:51 AM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  Any good luck is my life is always pointed out as a sign from God showing that he wants me to repent.

I never understood this one. I will never be a theist again. It's not a phase and not a loosely based opinion. Atheism makes as much sense to me as knowing that if I put my hand in a fire, I will get burned. I'm never going to assume ever again that it won't burn. So God knows this and chooses to bless me with good fortune? So why would I ever become a theist again if I can continue to get bribery presents from God? Once I sign the recruitment papers, he ignores me. But if I remain unsigned I can reap all the attention and rewards? Don't mind if I do.
That last one always bugs the shit out of me. I get angry, but I keep my mouth shut. This happens often at the in-laws. If anything good happens, it was God, if anything bad happens, its your own damn fault. Using that logic humans can never do anything good, ever. We are all evil. If that is true then why the fuck would God want evil people to worship him? Because he is either evil, or he is a dick. With Christmas festivities underway soon at the in-laws, I am fully prepared to have a bloody tongue. Every Christmas, we hold hands (about 30 people), say something God has blessed us with, one at a time, and then pray. I have been living away from 'home' for several years, but I was reminded of the tradition last year (moved back last December), and I am not looking forward to a repeat performance. I think I will be "shitting" during the Jesus love-fest portion of Christmas this year. Wonder how many years I can get away with that? Sad

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19-11-2012, 01:11 AM
RE: Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
My dad asks me on a regular basis if I still read my bible. He seems to think that if I just pick it up and read that I'll suddenly become a christian again. When I tell him that after reading it is when I started having my doubts, he seems to think that I need to read it with "different eyes" and interpret it differently. I always have to explain that if you have to interpret something that makes no sense just to understand and adopt it, it's not a very good foundation.

My sister and my mom constantly feel the need to send me "scientific proof" of god which is usually lots of cherry picking and pseudo science. Ok, that's really all it is....
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19-11-2012, 01:21 AM
Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
The great success of your book will surely be attributed to God's blessings raining down upon you.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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19-11-2012, 01:24 AM
RE: Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
(19-11-2012 01:21 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  The great success of your book will surely be attributed to God's blessings raining down upon you.
JESUS WANTS YOU TO SUCCEED! YOU NEED TO SERVE HIM! Bowing
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19-11-2012, 02:03 PM
RE: Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
You know what I love? When my parents tell me that I'm depressed because I don't have God in my life. Isn't it even more depressing to live in a house with people who loved and supported you up until you became intelligent enough and more aware of the world around you to renounce your faith in a god? Atheism is not the problem.

"If God is real, he better have a good excuse." - Woody Allen
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19-11-2012, 06:07 PM
RE: Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
Not many things have changed in my family, but my parents started giving me a bible every Christmas.
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20-11-2012, 02:40 PM
RE: Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
(19-11-2012 12:51 AM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  Any good luck is my life is always pointed out as a sign from God showing that he wants me to repent.
I've gotten the same. What I find amusing is that they also said any BAD luck in my life is supposed to be making me want to repent, too. Wtf. Bad luck is showing me the errors of my godless ways, and good luck is, too! Basically, you can point to anything and say it's a "sign from god" wanting us to repent. =\
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20-11-2012, 03:20 PM
RE: Funny changes in my family now that I'm the family atheist
(19-11-2012 06:07 PM)FreeThinkerInArkansas Wrote:  Not many things have changed in my family, but my parents started giving me a bible every Christmas.

LOL

I know very well from being Christian previously that there isn't anything you can say or do or anything that happens in the world that isn't turned into a sign from God or a bible lesson. It seems everything that happens; good or bad, weird or logical, just seems to serve as affirmation of their beliefs.

It's hard to stand up to that.
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