Funny comments by theist in your life
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24-05-2010, 08:03 AM
Funny comments by theist in your life
What are some of the funniest things you have heard from theist? Here are mine:

1. Evolution is a belief based on faith for there are too many loopholes.
My response: Actually there is more than enough evidence to prove it such as DNA. Also creationism has no evidence at all.
2. The big bang never happened.
My response: Red shifts in galaxies and the fact that the universe keeps getting bigger is evidence for the big bang.
3. There are no contradictions in the Bible.
My Response: There are plenty of contradictions that I have heard of. Also, most of them are major such as one passage saying we are not born of sin vs one saying we are.
4. It takes more faith to be an atheist.
My response: We base our decisions on facts and evidence. Not assumptions and blind allegiance.
5. Atheist believe that when you die you become a tree.
My response: WTF?
6. Everything in the Bible has happened and there is no evidence against it. It is the word of God.
My response: Wow where do I start there is so much I could say.
7. Athiest are retarded.
My response: We have higher IQ levels on average. More secular countires and states have higher IQ levels.

There are plenty more but these are the most recent. Being an athiest I try my hardest to defend us against people that make irrational arguments and personal attacks.

Now make me laugh. What have you all heard from theist that is comical?
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24-05-2010, 08:39 AM
RE: Funny comments by theist in your life
Jesus loves you even though you're an atheist............but you're still going to hell.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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24-05-2010, 08:42 AM
 
RE: Funny comments by theist in your life
"God won't place you where his grace can't reach you."..... have to wonder why his grace was in those 911 planes...
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25-05-2010, 08:35 AM
RE: Funny comments by theist in your life
"why look for answers you already have under your nose!"
"I'm not living in the middle ages, you are!" (after I said the religious people live in the middle ages...)
"the science is all the time correcting itself and admit it is wrong some times, god is allways right!" (to that one I said I prefer a system which don't afraid to admit it's wrong, then a system which claims you doomed if you're not following it)
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25-05-2010, 08:15 PM
 
Wink RE: Funny comments by theist in your life
"God wants to be your friend!"

I was like "I'm too old for imaginary friends..." Tongue
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30-05-2010, 11:37 AM
 
RE: Funny comments by theist in your life
"You blasphemed my God! You're going to hell!"

My response, "I'll see you there."
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30-05-2010, 09:39 PM
 
RE: Funny comments by theist in your life
"If we didn't come from the garden of Eden then why do woman have an extra rib?"

*google search: xray+rib+man+woman*

"You where saying?"
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31-05-2010, 08:06 AM
RE: Funny comments by theist in your life
LOL these are pretty good Smile
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31-05-2010, 10:38 AM
RE: Funny comments by theist in your life
(30-05-2010 09:39 PM)Enginseer Wrote:  "If we didn't come from the garden of Eden then why do woman have an extra rib?"

*google search: xray+rib+man+woman*

"You where saying?"

I remember they used to teach us that during religion classes in school. For some years I actually believed it until it occurred to me to check it out. They shouldn't be allowed to distort scientific truths in class in order to support their beliefs, but unfortunately they are, in the name of 'freedom of religion' Rolleyes

All learning is quite useless if you haven't learned to question what you learn.
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31-05-2010, 12:30 PM
 
RE: Funny comments by theist in your life
My father would always say "God is almighty" whenever we would talk about future plans. It was his way of saying "with God, things will happen as you plan". I always thought, "why would god matter in these situations?"

The other comment I've heard recently was "god saved him". In a recent familial tragedy, one of my wife's relatives lost his son in a boating accident. He and a friend went out in a canoe without any life jackets on. The canoe capsized and my wife's relative's son drowned. His friend was saved by another boater. The speculation is that her relative succumbed to hypothermia (the lake is known to be one of the coldest).

While meeting with other family members yesterday, they spoke about how god must have saved the surviving friend. What a load of crap. So, god had something against my wife's relative and not against the other guy?

Sorry for the small rant.
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