Funny how things change
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11-06-2014, 06:59 AM
Funny how things change
I'm sure those of you who have been religious might understand this.
A few months ago my husband and I were talking about how crazy it is that we could instantly have close friends and a church "family" when we were Christians at a church, but the second we left we hardly heard from anyone again....which is crazy because we were VERY involved.
We started talking about how we don't feel like we've changed a lot apart from not believing in the bible anymore. I mean, unlike what our Christians friends think, we haven't gone wild and we don't party. In fact, we're pretty laid back and usually prefer to stay home and chill.
We continued talking about how, as far as behavior and lifestyle goes, it probably wouldn't be all that different to be close friends with our old Christian friends. Haha...but as we went on, we realized, "Wait a second...we drink, we cuss like motherfucking sailors, every other joke is crude, and we're ok with porn (which was a BIG topic at our old church)...ok, maybe we really couldn't keep our old church family without also being religious!"

Lol, it was a funny realization for us, because our non-christian friends make fun of us for being in our early 20's and acting tame like a stereotypical old married couple. But in the perspective of our Christian friends we've gone totally wild.

Has anyone else had a point when you realize that you don't behave like a Christian anymore?

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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11-06-2014, 07:11 AM
RE: Funny how things change
Honestly after my deconversion, I act pretty much the same as I did when I was Christian, I just don't feel guilty every time I have fun. Tongue

The only major change I went through was almost overnight being so much more tolerant of the LGBT community. When you're in the church you get this homophobic mindset pounded in to you, and I was pretty intolerant of them for no good reason.

Never really saw a problem with homosexuality, I was just like "Im supposed to hate these people, I guess?"

But yeah, weirdly, my tally of murder and rape has stayed the same, despite being a sinful heathen.



That tally is 0, by the way.
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11-06-2014, 07:27 AM
RE: Funny how things change
(11-06-2014 07:11 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  Honestly after my deconversion, I act pretty much the same as I did when I was Christian, I just don't feel guilty every time I have fun. Tongue

Never really saw a problem with homosexuality, I was just like "Im supposed to hate these people, I guess?"

But yeah, weirdly, my tally of murder and rape has stayed the same, despite being a sinful heathen.

Hahaha I know! It's funny how rape, murder, stealing and lying aren't the hot topic sins in the church- or at least any church ive been to. The sins they want to talk about are the enjoyable consensual sexual sins. Porn, homosexuality, sex before marriage...because obviously it's totally their business.

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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11-06-2014, 07:40 AM
RE: Funny how things change
The industry of the church depends on you being convinced you need them. Average person doesn't rape or murder. What you want is an activity that everyone does but is mildly embarrassing - like wanking. Then you exhort your followers not to wank etc, *because* they won't be able to stop themselves and *because* it's already vaguely embarrassing so they're gonna feel mildly guilty. Ramp up the guilt, *proffer a solution*. Say stuff about how even if you 'backslide' you can still redeem yourself if you confess your sins...

Yada yada...

Kaching!

Of course you can mumble on about a vast array of supposed sins to make sure you spread your net wide. Guilty people pay money more readily Smile So you *make* them guilty.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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11-06-2014, 08:03 AM
RE: Funny how things change
(11-06-2014 07:40 AM)morondog Wrote:  The industry of the church depends on you being convinced you need them. Average person doesn't rape or murder. What you want is an activity that everyone does but is mildly embarrassing - like wanking. Then you exhort your followers not to wank etc, *because* they won't be able to stop themselves and *because* it's already vaguely embarrassing so they're gonna feel mildly guilty. Ramp up the guilt, *proffer a solution*. Say stuff about how even if you 'backslide' you can still redeem yourself if you confess your sins...

Yada yada...

Kaching!

Of course you can mumble on about a vast array of supposed sins to make sure you spread your net wide. Guilty people pay money more readily Smile So you *make* them guilty.

True that. Especially when everyone in your church circle is supposedly living a godly life. I think that makes it more embarrassing when you feel like you're the only one who has sex or rubs one out once and a while. When I was a Christian, I felt the most guilt when I felt I was alone in my sin. Also, near the end of my Christianity is when I decided I shouldn't feel guilty anymore.

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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11-06-2014, 09:14 AM
RE: Funny how things change
For lack of better terms, I'm "in the closet" at the moment. I guess that makes me a coward, but I'm not ready to make waves. I have 2 kids going thru Catholic schools and will go thru the 12th grade, so I'll stay as is until the youngest is done. I applaud your courage for being open about your beliefs.

I can relate to a certain extent. My wife and family are Catholic, and about 12 years ago we were living in IN. We met some super nice neighbors and they inevitably asked us to join their church. After the 2nd or 3rd time they brought it up, we politely told them "no thanks, we're Catholics and go to St. ________". They barely spoke 2 words to us after that. I even tried to engage them in conversation a few times and they tried their best to duck me. One of the reasons why I have little use for Baptists and Evangelicals. Hate to paint with a broad brush, but it's been my experience for awhile.
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11-06-2014, 09:48 AM
RE: Funny how things change
(11-06-2014 09:14 AM)Plan 9 from OS Wrote:  For lack of better terms, I'm "in the closet" at the moment. I guess that makes me a coward, but I'm not ready to make waves.

You are NOT a coward! It's a very brave move to even question deep-rooted, fear based religious beliefs!! I know, because I was scared to even question Christianity. I was scared I would go to hell. Anyone who would call you a coward for not being "out" doesn't know your situation as well as you do. The brave thing to do is to have good judgement. I don't believe bravery is always loud and in your face.

I would consider myself as out of the closet, but I don't make a lot of noise about it either. I talk about it some, but I try to avoid arguments if I can.

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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