Funny quotes
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03-03-2011, 12:34 AM
 
Funny quotes
Probably a thread that has already been posted on this thread, yet I cannot find it so I am posting this one.

"I heard two "bingos" and one "shit!"" - bingo caller tonight

"attacked by flying nipple-sucking sea stars" - The Observer on my thread entitled "Why... just why"
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03-03-2011, 07:38 AM
RE: Funny quotes
''''But evolution is only a theory!''. Wi-wi Bu-but which is true, I mean it is a theory and it's good that I say that. I think it gives you hope, doesn't it, that maybe they feel the same way about the theory of... gravity...
...and they might just float the fuck away.''
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYs5homewD4

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03-03-2011, 11:46 AM
RE: Funny quotes
CLERK: No, we don't have Rarnaby Budge by Charles Dickens with two K's, the well-known Dutch author, and perhaps to save time I should add that we don't have Carnaby Fudge by Darles Chickens, or Farmborough Sludge by Marles Pickens, or even Stickwick Stapers by Farles Wickens with four M's and a silent Q! Why don't you try W. H. Smith's?
CUSTOMER: I did. They sent me here.
- Monty Python's Flying Circus, "The Bookshop Sketch"

"Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness."
- Terry Pratchett
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03-03-2011, 11:58 AM
 
RE: Funny quotes
(03-03-2011 11:46 AM)Unbeliever Wrote:  CLERK: No, we don't have Rarnaby Budge by Charles Dickens with two K's, the well-known Dutch author, and perhaps to save time I should add that we don't have Carnaby Fudge by Darles Chickens, or Farmborough Sludge by Marles Pickens, or even Stickwick Stapers by Farles Wickens with four M's and a silent Q! Why don't you try W. H. Smith's?
CUSTOMER: I did. They sent me here.
- Monty Python's Flying Circus, "The Bookshop Sketch"
I absolutely love Monty Python, you earn 10,000 points


I love automated answer machines now, I was waiting on-hold to complain to Blockbuster online, I interrupt the answer bot with a grumble of "fuck you" and it actually responded "I'm sorry you feel that way, I will now transfer you to a live operator"

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA they're making these things smarter Big Grin
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04-03-2011, 11:32 AM
RE: Funny quotes
(03-03-2011 12:34 AM)Diclonius Wrote:  Probably a thread that has already been posted on this thread, yet I cannot find it so I am posting this one.

"I heard two "bingos" and one "shit!"" - bingo caller tonight

"attacked by flying nipple-sucking sea stars" - The Observer on my thread entitled "Why... just why"
I know that explaining a joke quite spoils it but... I'm not getting it... sorry Huh

Observer

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Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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04-03-2011, 11:57 AM
RE: Funny quotes
This entire sketch is one of the greatest funny quotes of all time. I used to be able to do the entire thing from memory.

"Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness."
- Terry Pratchett
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04-03-2011, 11:44 PM
 
RE: Funny quotes
(04-03-2011 11:32 AM)The_observer Wrote:  
(03-03-2011 12:34 AM)Diclonius Wrote:  Probably a thread that has already been posted on this thread, yet I cannot find it so I am posting this one.

"I heard two "bingos" and one "shit!"" - bingo caller tonight

"attacked by flying nipple-sucking sea stars" - The Observer on my thread entitled "Why... just why"
I know that explaining a joke quite spoils it but... I'm not getting it... sorry Huh
It was when you responded to the video of the 1987 horror movie "Rock N' Roll Nightmare". I love how you identified the things thrown at him as "flying nipple-sucking sea stars". I thought that was hilariously brilliant
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05-03-2011, 02:10 AM
RE: Funny quotes
(04-03-2011 11:44 PM)Diclonius Wrote:  
(04-03-2011 11:32 AM)The_observer Wrote:  
(03-03-2011 12:34 AM)Diclonius Wrote:  Probably a thread that has already been posted on this thread, yet I cannot find it so I am posting this one.

"I heard two "bingos" and one "shit!"" - bingo caller tonight

"attacked by flying nipple-sucking sea stars" - The Observer on my thread entitled "Why... just why"
I know that explaining a joke quite spoils it but... I'm not getting it... sorry Huh
It was when you responded to the video of the 1987 horror movie "Rock N' Roll Nightmare". I love how you identified the things thrown at him as "flying nipple-sucking sea stars". I thought that was hilariously brilliant
oh... i see. Thanks. Blush

Observer

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Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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05-03-2011, 01:16 PM
 
RE: Funny quotes
"I feel younger now than when I was in my 30s and 40s and had all those problems." -- Ida Keeling, 95-year-old woman from the Bronx who set world record after running 60m in 29.86 seconds in 2011; she is the oldest woman to do so.

"Gay Republicans - You Can Come Out of Your Log Cabins Now!"
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05-03-2011, 10:10 PM
 
RE: Funny quotes
Recent convo with my fiance:
Him: "What's a chip-tottle burger?"
Me: "Hunny, that is chipotle"
Him: "Huh??? ... oh... oh yeah that is..."


And recently a customer on drive through
Customer: "I'd like a medium rootbeer friz"
Me: "Do you mean rootbeer freeze???"
Customer: "Yeah that!"

Oh and when I first heard the song "Only Girl In The World" by Rhianna I thought the opening line was "Want you to love me like I'm a pot pie".... doesn't help that I heard it at work and I work at KFC. I still lol heartily when the song comes on.

*facepalm*
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