GF's Parents
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20-02-2014, 02:26 AM
GF's Parents
I'm an atheist, my girlfriend is agnostic. Her parents are extremely religious, her father is actually a pastor. The kind of people that mention god or prayer every other sentence pretty much. I know at some point in conversation with her parents the topic of what religion I am will come up, and I don't know what to do. I can't lie if directly asked something like "do you believe in god" or "are you an atheist" I spent too many years of my life lying about it and I won't go back.

I've considered saying simply "I was raised in a Christian home" or something to that effect (since that isn't technically a lie) hoping that'll be enough but I doubt it will be. I know I'm going to get a lot of people on here telling me to just man up and tell them what I don't believe, but it's not just me here. Her parents don't know she's agnostic and would be furious about it, she has no plans to tell them. I could totally deal with them hating me, but it's their reaction to her choosing to be with me that worries me. I don't want to put her in that position, and she's simply not ready to come out. It's not my place to force it, and it's not my relationship to gamble.


Idk what to do...
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20-02-2014, 02:56 AM
RE: GF's Parents
Tough one.

For me, if it was me I'd just say it straight out. It's a question directed *to* you, and *about* you. Her beliefs don't figure. If they ask her why she's with such a devil person then she can choose what she tells them, but something along the lines of "I think he's a good guy and I love him" etc. should be sufficient, no need to reveal her agnosticism if she doesn't want to.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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20-02-2014, 03:30 AM
RE: GF's Parents
Funny how in my family its sort of taboo, like asking if your circumcised.
Just say "that's a personal question", laugh and change the subject.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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20-02-2014, 03:34 AM
RE: GF's Parents
(20-02-2014 03:30 AM)sporehux Wrote:  Funny how in my family its sort of taboo, like asking if your circumcised.
Just say "that's a personal question", laugh and change the subject.
Well... Are both your parents deeply immersed in religion? Or pastors? Lol
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20-02-2014, 03:48 AM (This post was last modified: 20-02-2014 06:12 PM by DLJ.)
RE: GF's Parents
Easy.

Tell them that there is no god but Allah and Mo was the True Prophet ™ peace be upon him.

Then, as their jaws hit the floor, laugh and tell them you're joking... you're a free-thinker.

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20-02-2014, 04:16 AM
RE: GF's Parents
Hmmm. Do you have to say pbuh when you just call him Mo?
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20-02-2014, 05:25 AM
RE: GF's Parents
I find that when someone asks you a question that you do not want to answer, and also do not want to be seen avoiding, you can change the subject really quickly by asking a question back at them or coming up with some related thought. They have to be responses that move the conversation on and that the other person wants to give an opinion on.

"Which church do you follow?"

Immediate responses could be:

"You know, I have often wondered why it should be necessary to go to church in order be Christian"
"Sometimes I ask myself, does it really change the ultimate truth considering that all the differences in religion come down to different interpretations by different people?"
"I was thinking about this, how many people think of themselves as Christian but are not considered other Christians by other Christians? Do you think there is a church that everyone agrees is a Christian church?"

Once they give their opinion you can ask further questions in response to steer the conversation away to safer ground. The other person will assume that you have had a train of thought but haven't actually expressed the intermediate steps. This technique works with all kinds of personal topics you do not want to discuss, not just religion, for example, personal and medical history, sexuality, politics etc.
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20-02-2014, 05:36 AM
RE: GF's Parents
(20-02-2014 03:30 AM)sporehux Wrote:  Funny how in my family its sort of taboo, like asking if your circumcised.
Just say "that's a personal question", laugh and change the subject.


Well, are you? Consider

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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20-02-2014, 06:31 AM
RE: GF's Parents
"If you were to ask my friends, theyd probably say I talk about god a lot."
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20-02-2014, 06:54 AM
RE: GF's Parents
(20-02-2014 03:30 AM)sporehux Wrote:  Funny how in my family its sort of taboo, like asking if your circumcised.
Just say "that's a personal question", laugh and change the subject.

In the eyes of super religious (especially if they're old) parents, that would come off as very suspicious. They'd be likely to question it in a heartbeat.

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