GF's Parents
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20-02-2014, 07:58 AM (This post was last modified: 20-02-2014 08:01 AM by Bows and Arrows.)
RE: GF's Parents
I would say that you are a non-believer…..lets face it the 'atheist' label just freaks some people out -- so go with a gentler term since these are people you are hoping will like you. You might want to add in there that you were raised in a Christian home if you think that will soften the blow. But I would not hide it, I wouldn't avoid it.

I also, would not try getting into a pissing match about who is right/wrong about it. Find a way to gently say "I appreciate your concern-but I have done much research and thinking-and I have to follow what is true for me" . Don't debate them.

Anyone that comes dating my daughters, best be honest with me when I ask a question. Tactics to give me a false answer just make me want to kick you out. I can deal with most anything if you are truthful with me, but don't try pulling a fast one. If they are asking if you are a believer---they will KNOW when you don't answer. And they will ask again until they get an answer.

I agree with Morondog. They are asking about you. Your GF will have to figure out her own way of dealing with her parents. It might be easier for her, once you break the ice and she can judge how badly they freaked out.


pray in one hand and spit in the other, see which hand fills up first.
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20-02-2014, 08:01 AM
RE: GF's Parents
Wow, that is a tough one. Have you asked your GF what she thinks you should say?

I tend to agree with Mathilda on what to say but I don't know if in all situations that will steer the conversation around, as with Ferdinand's comment about the "that's a personal question" - that course of action could end up with them being suspicious, and start questioning things in a heartbeat - especially if you have someone there, the pastor, who may regularly get into apologetics.

Maybe something along the lines of the that's a personal question like "Like details of my relationship with god is very personal".... is that technically lying? I mean you're just omitting the fact you have no relationship - but it makes it sound like you could be a theist but again sounds like you're avoiding the question at the end of the day.

Along side the concerns you have for your girlfriend not having a premature coming out of agnosticism as a result of your honesty or something you say - you could end up being blamed for her loss of faith too at a later point when or if she comes out about it. When I first started dating my Buddhist partner my family thought he was my reason for not going to church any more.

Hope you figure something out or it works out though - it's crap you have to be in that situation, especially with the position your girlfriend is in terms of being open about her beliefs.
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20-02-2014, 02:02 PM
RE: GF's Parents
I am not circumcised Tongue
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20-02-2014, 02:20 PM
RE: GF's Parents
"I do not believe in God" Straight into their faces. What are they gonna do? Not much. Give em a shot.
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20-02-2014, 02:37 PM
RE: GF's Parents
I would say it depends on how old and independant you and your girlfriend are.

If your on your own, then I'd say, give to the pastor right between the eyes. Be up front about it.

If you guys are dependant on your parents, then just hold off and say 'praise jebus'.

If bullshit were music some people would be a brass band.
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20-02-2014, 04:05 PM
GF's Parents
Good ol' religious reversicution.

“It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.”
― Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes
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20-02-2014, 04:30 PM
RE: GF's Parents
It seems as if your gf has the bigger problem.

There is no suitable dodge to such a direct question. If they are as arrogant (most jesus freaks are ) as you suggest you'll only be able to put it off for so long.

Quote:The kind of people that mention god or prayer every other sentence pretty much.

This kind of makes the point. They are too far gone for equivocation.

[Image: Atheismreality_zps62a2c96a.jpg]
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25-02-2014, 07:46 PM
RE: GF's Parents
Personally I'd just bullshit them...

If you really love this girl, she should mean more to you than some principle about being openly atheist... Eventually the truth is gonna come out. But keep it under your hat until its too late for them to tear your relationship apart.

Not that its any of their business anyway.

This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree; but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom... - The Ghost of Christmas Present.
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25-02-2014, 08:28 PM
GF's Parents
Same as the other posters: BS it. They are too involved in their own BS to be able to tell if you love their daughter.

“It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.”
― Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes
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26-02-2014, 11:15 AM
RE: GF's Parents
Meh, bottom line it's your relationship. Don't be disrespectful about it though.

If you're just casually dating, its probably not worth the fuss. If it's actually going somewhere and getting serious, then I'd say bring it up sooner rather than later. That being said, if you're both two consenting, independent adults who are pursuing a long term relationship, then technically what the parents think of your atheism/ agnosticism doesn't matter- it's your relationship. You're not dating her for her parents.

The religion of one age, is the literary entertainment of the next.
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