Gay and Mormon
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18-06-2013, 08:15 AM
Gay and Mormon
Hello. My name is Anjala. (yes, that is my real name.) I am coming out of Mormonism. I started going back to the church in August 2011 after not attending church for almost 17 years. I actually thought that I took my name of the records of the Mormon church when I was married to my ex-husband, but the paperwork never went through.

During the time of not being in the church, I came out of the closest as a lesbian (now identify as bi), but I thought I could just keep that part of myself hidden when I went back to church.

I was raised in church (not the Mormon church) from infancy. I was always taught that there was a God. Now, I just can't believe anymore.

It is breaking my heart to not believe because I feel like I am losing part of myself and don't know where to go.

I guess I am just reaching out, looking for answers. Hoping to get some here.

Thank you.[/font]
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18-06-2013, 08:35 AM
RE: Gay and Mormon
Welcome aboard.

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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18-06-2013, 08:39 AM
RE: Gay and Mormon
Hi Anjala - you sound a bit dazed. No doubt you've been through so much identity struggles, you have no idea which way you are turning at any one moment.

I'm glad you found the forum. We're an international crowd with lots of different views. The only thing we have in common is we share the idea that there is no evidence for a god. Check the place out - I'm sure you'll at least find something of interest being discussed. We have a Support forum you might check out - it can help you to relate to being whoever you are.

Welcome to the forum. Smile

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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18-06-2013, 08:53 AM
RE: Gay and Mormon
Hug welcome!!


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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18-06-2013, 10:06 AM
RE: Gay and Mormon
(18-06-2013 08:15 AM)Anjala Wrote:  Hello. My name is Anjala. (yes, that is my real name.) I am coming out of Mormonism. I started going back to the church in August 2011 after not attending church for almost 17 years. I actually thought that I took my name of the records of the Mormon church when I was married to my ex-husband, but the paperwork never went through.

During the time of not being in the church, I came out of the closest as a lesbian (now identify as bi), but I thought I could just keep that part of myself hidden when I went back to church.

I was raised in church (not the Mormon church) from infancy. I was always taught that there was a God. Now, I just can't believe anymore.

It is breaking my heart to not believe because I feel like I am losing part of myself and don't know where to go.

I guess I am just reaching out, looking for answers. Hoping to get some here.

Thank you.[/font]

Welcome to TTA! It's hard in the beginning, but it does get easier.

Take a look at the recovering from religion section. You're totally not alone.

Hug


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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19-06-2013, 08:08 AM
RE: Gay and Mormon
(18-06-2013 08:15 AM)Anjala Wrote:  Hello. My name is Anjala. (yes, that is my real name.) I am coming out of Mormonism. I started going back to the church in August 2011 after not attending church for almost 17 years. I actually thought that I took my name of the records of the Mormon church when I was married to my ex-husband, but the paperwork never went through.

During the time of not being in the church, I came out of the closest as a lesbian (now identify as bi), but I thought I could just keep that part of myself hidden when I went back to church.

I was raised in church (not the Mormon church) from infancy. I was always taught that there was a God. Now, I just can't believe anymore.

It is breaking my heart to not believe because I feel like I am losing part of myself and don't know where to go.

I guess I am just reaching out, looking for answers. Hoping to get some here.

Thank you.[/font]

That's not unusual, Anjala. A lot of atheists will grieve for god, no matter how silly it sounds. If its a big part of your life and disappears, you will miss it.

Are you living in Utah or somewhere else. How has this affected your relationship with your family?

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

- Joel Chastnoff, The 188th Crybaby Brigade
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19-06-2013, 08:29 AM
RE: Gay and Mormon
That's not unusual, Anjala. A lot of atheists will grieve for god, no matter how silly it sounds. If its a big part of your life and disappears, you will miss it.

Are you living in Utah or somewhere else. How has this affected your relationship with your family?
[/quote]

Actually, I live in Indianapolis, IN. Most of my family ISN'T Mormon, but I do have family and friends that are. I actually blocked those people who are still members of the church from my old and new FB accounts because, if they find out that I am in a GLBT relationship, they will turn me in to be excommunicated, which I want to be able to do on my own terms.
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19-06-2013, 05:22 PM
RE: Gay and Mormon
Hm, is your name still in the church? I remember reading about a solider [now an atheist] who was in the Mormon church for some time but had trouble getting them to remove his name from their records.

Bury me with my guns on, so when I reach the other side - I can show him what it feels like to die.
Bury me with my guns on, so when I'm cast out of the sky, I can shoot the devil right between the eyes.
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19-06-2013, 05:37 PM
RE: Gay and Mormon
I'm fairly new myself but I want to say welcome anyhow. It takes a lot of inner strength to follow your gut/heart and leave the theistic world (especially one as strict/tight as that of the latter days), it isn't easy and it probably isn't really over but it sounds like you'll do fine on the outside.

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19-06-2013, 07:19 PM
RE: Gay and Mormon
(19-06-2013 05:22 PM)Red Tornado Wrote:  Hm, is your name still in the church? I remember reading about a solider [now an atheist] who was in the Mormon church for some time but had trouble getting them to remove his name from their records.

Yes, my name is still on the records. I thought I removed my name back in 1997, but it never happened. I haven't asked for it to be removed yet because, as someone said, I am still mourning the loss. It's part of me that I've held onto for so damn long.

I have friends who are trying to convince me that I still need to believe in some sort of "God" and I understand their concern. I am in a 12-step recovery group and I know that people have done 12-step groups before and maintained their atheism.

I am not going to jump in head first, but I know that, if there were a God, he couldn't give 2 shits about me. If he's (or she's) all that powerful, why they hell do we make mistakes, die, etc. Also, there are so many things that just don't make sense and you have to suspend so much disbelief to believe half the shit I believed. I just feel hurt and numb all at the same time.
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