Generic conspiracy theory humor

[Reltzik]

Rules: In pointy brackets, place <a generic version of what you would say> at this point in the conversation. Wild cards only. Shoot for the lols. I'll start.

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<Recollection of well-known news event>

<Accusation that "official" version of event is inaccurate.>

<Assertion of malice by Shadowy Agency, possibly The Government, in putting forth alleged inaccuracies.>

<Assertion of The Truth of said event>

<Accusation that Shadowy Agency has covered up The Truth, and largely succeeded, save for fragmentary evidence not provided.>

<Demand that audience of this post opens its eyes and gets angry.>

[nach_in]

I don't get it

[DLJ]

I'm with Nach_in.
Are you referring to something happening on another thread? If so, please give us a link.

Cheers.

[Chas]

(25-10-2012 01:13 AM)Reltzik Wrote:  Rules: In pointy brackets, place <a generic version of what you would say> at this point in the conversation. Wild cards only. Shoot for the lols. I'll start.

==============================

<Recollection of well-known news event>

<Accusation that "official" version of event is inaccurate.>

<Assertion of malice by Shadowy Agency, possibly The Government, in putting forth alleged inaccuracies.>

<Assertion of The Truth of said event>

<Accusation that Shadowy Agency has covered up The Truth, and largely succeeded, save for fragmentary evidence not provided.>

<Demand that audience of this post opens its eyes and gets angry.>

<Spew invective at most recent denier>

[Reltzik]

<Assurance that it all makes sense if you just look at it closely and stop believing the Shadowy Agency.>

<Liberal usage of the word "sheeple".>

(25-10-2012 06:32 AM)nach_in Wrote:  I don't get it

Seriously, no actual event. Just a parody of conspiracy discussion threads. Think of it like a reverse mad-libs. Instead of filling in the category with something, you are taking what would normally be said, like "Homeland Security killed Kennedy with a third gunman!!!", and replacing it with a generic category, like <Assertion of thesis, supported entirely by ! marks>.

[Erxomai]

<Create an account that gets banned for spamming when warned not to>

<Create sock puppet accounts and name them things like Bishadi, ArcticSage, I&I, The Theist, mysticjbird, or even Bemore>

[ClydeLee]

<Accuse the poster of being a previous Conspiracy poster in disguise>

<Assert neither assumption is truthful since it's all asinine assumptions>

<Be accused of placating The Jesus lovers>

<Get furious anger bursts all posts are turned into general assumptions>

<Begin to see the absurd, and troll the posts>

[Erxomai]

<Start small by asking innocuous seeming questions. Did you know the US supported the mujahideen during the soviet occupation. >

<Once a sucker is hooked find a website that says George Bush paid the Taliban to attack America. >

<When you meet resistance, call naysayers good patriotic Americans who only watch Fox News and are deceived by the lies of the shadow government.>

<Include a quote from Eisenhower about the Industrial Military Complex.>

<Remind everyone that the CIA set up Margaret Thatcher to power. Point out if the Falklands had not been taken, the soviets would've placed missiles in Jamaica. >

<Be sure to reiterate ad nauseaum the mainstream media is tricking us to believe whatever they show us. >

<If it hasn't been done in the past three comments, be sure to blame the US for everything bad that has ever happened in the world, going back to the first crusades>

<End every rant with: Soylent Green! It's people! It's people.......>

[Reltzik]

<Provide links to pictorial evidence, and breezily assert that it proves the thesis beyond any reasonable doubt.>

<Accuse remaining doubters of being unreasonable.>

[Erxomai]

(26-10-2012 09:48 AM)Reltzik Wrote:  <Provide links to pictorial evidence, and breezily assert that it proves the thesis beyond any reasonable doubt.>

<Accuse remaining doubters of being unreasonable.>

<That link proves there really IS a conspiracy!>