Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
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30-05-2015, 09:38 AM
Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
So I finally got the nod from the surgeon general on our base to move forward with the process to get med boarded out of the military. I have only a little longer on my enlistment anyway and since I was not going to re-up this time around it makes no difference except that I can receive more benefits. Now the reason I am being med boarded out is the reason I chose to post today- PTSD.

Now I've been dealing with this since August of 2013 and between the nightmares and the anger issues(no real outburst I've gotten good at controlling them) its been tough. But the toughest thing of all of this is there are things I can't even tell my wife, family or even my therapist. I mean I could because there really is no legal reason why I can't but it's more that I don't want anyone knowing what I've done. More importantly I don't want my wife even more scared of me than she is sometimes. Not that I am a danger to anyone or myself but when you...... you get the point.

I think the most frustrating part of everything was the treatment I receive from my own comrades. People who you would think would understand in my chain of command treat me like I have bird flu. No one asks how I'm doing. No one ask me to come to events. Nothing. I only see them when they need me to complete some training or if it's about my med board. It's like the second you can't perform your job because of a disability you suffered from doing said job you're of no use to them. I just hate how I have given my all to something for the last 4 and a half years of my life and all I get is....this.

I dunno it just sucks. I feel as though there isn't anyone to talk to about any of this. I've tried with my family and friends but they don't really get it because none(including my military friends) have yet to deploy or are not even military. I know I have you guys here for me as well and I'm thankful for it. Just venting about it makes me feel a little better.
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30-05-2015, 09:46 AM
RE: Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
(30-05-2015 09:38 AM)MrKrispy601 Wrote:  So I finally got the nod from the surgeon general on our base to move forward with the process to get med boarded out of the military. I have only a little longer on my enlistment anyway and since I was not going to re-up this time around it makes no difference except that I can receive more benefits. Now the reason I am being med boarded out is the reason I chose to post today- PTSD.

Now I've been dealing with this since August of 2013 and between the nightmares and the anger issues(no real outburst I've gotten good at controlling them) its been tough. But the toughest thing of all of this is there are things I can't even tell my wife, family or even my therapist. I mean I could because there really is no legal reason why I can't but it's more that I don't want anyone knowing what I've done. More importantly I don't want my wife even more scared of me than she is sometimes. Not that I am a danger to anyone or myself but when you...... you get the point.

I think the most frustrating part of everything was the treatment I receive from my own comrades. People who you would think would understand in my chain of command treat me like I have bird flu. No one asks how I'm doing. No one ask me to come to events. Nothing. I only see them when they need me to complete some training or if it's about my med board. It's like the second you can't perform your job because of a disability you suffered from doing said job you're of no use to them. I just hate how I have given my all to something for the last 4 and a half years of my life and all I get is....this.

I dunno it just sucks. I feel as though there isn't anyone to talk to about any of this. I've tried with my family and friends but they don't really get it because none(including my military friends) have yet to deploy or are not even military. I know I have you guys here for me as well and I'm thankful for it. Just venting about it makes me feel a little better.

I am sorry you are going through all of that. I can't even imagine. But it might help to talk about it to a skilled therapist who has experience dealing with PTSD. Sometimes it helps to talk about things--to just to get it out there--keeping things bottled up inside can make things so much worse, imo. I think when things are bottled up--they come out in bursts--such as anger. Obviously, you have to be ready to talk about it, maybe you're not there yet--which is totally understandable. Hugs to you. Hug
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30-05-2015, 10:00 AM
RE: Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
(30-05-2015 09:38 AM)MrKrispy601 Wrote:  But the toughest thing of all of this is there are things I can't even tell my wife, family or even my therapist. I mean I could because there really is no legal reason why I can't but it's more that I don't want anyone knowing what I've done.


Well, first off I'd make sure that you're seeing a therapist that isn't going to push Jesus onto you. After that, don't be afraid to share with your therapist. Not only are you protected by confidentiality, but any therapist with a background in veterans affairs isn't going to flinch at anything you could possibly tell them.


They aren't going to judge you, they are there to help you.


You'd be surprised at just how cathartic it can be to open up completely to someone with whom you have zero attachment to. The therapist isn't your family, your wife, your neighbor, or co-worker; you could stop seeing them at any time and completely cut all ties with no repercussions. You never have to see them again, and that idea is liberating.


There won't be an awkward silence at he dinner table over what you tell your therapist, so take advantage of that.


I wish you the best of luck.

-EK

[Image: E3WvRwZ.gif]
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30-05-2015, 10:10 AM
RE: Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
I think on some level they all know how the military can fuck up some people, and are afraid to even think about it. Your presence is a reminder of that. They're just now coming to grips with all the PTSD cases in the VA system. It's basically overwhelming them. They know it's a HUGE untold scandal. Denial is much easier. Some people thrive in the military, some not so much. Glad you're doing what's best for you. Thumbsup

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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30-05-2015, 10:23 AM
RE: Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
I think it'd be a good idea to force yourself to open up to the therapist -- preferably a non-military therapist -- before you try to do so with your wife. You're right, some of your feelings may well scare the hell out of her, and you'll need to practice talking about them so that you can do so in a way that is both heartfelt and controlled in order for her to understand without being shocked or frightened.

One veteran to another, thank you for your service, and I hope you find your peace and balance again.
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30-05-2015, 10:47 AM
RE: Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
Hug
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30-05-2015, 12:02 PM
RE: Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
I'm one of those people who thrive in the military. Even after moving to Canada, I still stayed in the National Guard and drive back across the border each month. In the civilian world I feel like I have to put on a mask, and it's psychologically draining. Everything I've ever told my girlfriend I've come to regret telling her. She's okay with the facts. What bothers her is the idea that I was in fact never forced or coerced into doing anything. I'm a predator, by choice, and was long before the military got to me, so to speak. That once a month where I get to go play weekend warrior is my time to relax and take off the mask for a couple days, and if I had it all to do over again, I'd probably have stayed active duty and not went off to raise a family and live the normal life. Everything about civilian life seems fake in a way. A bunch of naive people living in a bubble without realizing it. So although my situation is somewhat different than yours, I can sympathize.

The best advice I can give is that you're right in not opening up to close family. They won't understand. Even with the best of intentions, they're not capable of understanding because they haven't seem the world through your eyes.

Find people who specialize in PTSD, seek out veterans in similar circumstances who might be more sympathetic than your former comrades, and put on a mask for everyone else.

Most importantly, establish new goals and set off to achieve them. Get your mind on something else to distract you from the past. Keep yourself busy.

'Murican Canadian
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30-05-2015, 01:46 PM
RE: Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
Not all wounds require a wheelchair, a prosthesis or even a fucking bandaid....

It doesn't make them any less painful.

Best bet -- guys who've been through the same. Very best bet -- the guys who've been through the same, and gotten better.

Some guys never do get better -- and I suspect that they on some level like being fucked up -- sort of a Munchausen syndrome kind of thing. Of course - they probably weren't really all that bad off to start with..... They just bitch and moan a lot and enjoy the attention.

It sure doesn't seem that way for you -- you're almost going the other way - and not talking about it.

You're right -- venting helps....

Vent with vets who understand....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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30-05-2015, 03:44 PM
RE: Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
The med board won't affect your DD214 discharge status. I got an Honorable with a medical discharge.

(30-05-2015 09:38 AM)MrKrispy601 Wrote:  I think the most frustrating part of everything was the treatment I receive from my own comrades. People who you would think would understand in my chain of command treat me like I have bird flu. No one asks how I'm doing. No one ask me to come to events. Nothing. I only see them when they need me to complete some training or if it's about my med board. It's like the second you can't perform your job because of a disability you suffered from doing said job you're of no use to them. I just hate how I have given my all to something for the last 4 and a half years of my life and all I get is....this.

I went through a major depressive episode last year where I was out of work for 2 solid months. When I managed to claw my fatass out of the abyss and returned to work my coworkers and bosses acted like all pins and needles around me. Even worse because as soon as I came back I had to assume the supervisory responsibility of my previous boss. I break the tension by joking about it. Seems to put them a little more at ease but I think what's really behind their behavior is they are scared as shit that if a fat jolly man with a white beard can come that close to losing his grip completely so might they.

#sigh
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30-05-2015, 04:23 PM
RE: Getting Medical Boarded out of the Military
Thanks to you all. I appreciate all the advice.

I guess I should've included this part in all of that. I was seeing therapist from 2013 to early 2015. The problem was I got switched between four different therapist due to rotations and such. I just got tired of never really getting anywhere or when I did they got transferred. It just seemed like one more thing to stress me instead of a help for the stress.
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