Getting help; an FT rambling.
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06-12-2016, 04:55 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(06-12-2016 04:35 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  I'm about 15 minutes off now... this is going to be fun if nothing else...

Yay!

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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06-12-2016, 11:10 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Wondering how the appointment went, or if it went at all. Confused Hoping all is okay. Update us when you can. Hug

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07-12-2016, 04:42 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
I'm home now. My doctor was not in, so the staff arranged for me to see the first counsellor I had at uni. ... who then called the mental health crisis line which had me go to the ED.
I arrived at 10am give or take a minute or so. Then I spent until 6:50pm in an ED bed. After which I was admitted to the short stay psych ward for a while. My mother picked me up about an hour later. Now I'm here...

And i feel terrible. I haven't eaten at all today because I didn't feel like I could, now I'm home I have the urge to vomit. I just can't win can I?

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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07-12-2016, 04:46 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(07-12-2016 04:42 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I'm home now. My doctor was not in, so the staff arranged for me to see the first counsellor I had at uni. ... who then called the mental health crisis line which had me go to the ED.
I arrived at 10am give or take a minute or so. Then I spent until 6:50pm in an ED bed. After which I was admitted to the short stay psych ward for a while. My mother picked me up about an hour later. Now I'm here...

And i feel terrible. I haven't eaten at all today because I didn't feel like I could, now I'm home I have the urge to vomit. I just can't win can I?

You achieved something today. You took some steps towards getting things sorted. I think you are winning. But you've got a monkey on your back telling you you're useless. Don't stress amigo. Baby steps.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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07-12-2016, 05:32 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(07-12-2016 04:42 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I'm home now. My doctor was not in, so the staff arranged for me to see the first counsellor I had at uni. ... who then called the mental health crisis line which had me go to the ED.
I arrived at 10am give or take a minute or so. Then I spent until 6:50pm in an ED bed. After which I was admitted to the short stay psych ward for a while. My mother picked me up about an hour later. Now I'm here...

And i feel terrible. I haven't eaten at all today because I didn't feel like I could, now I'm home I have the urge to vomit. I just can't win can I?

You were dealing with a lot today and your body reacted physically to everything. You should give yourself a lot of credit for getting yourself to your counsellor. That wasn't easy to do, especially with everything you were dealing with, but you did it anyway. Hug
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07-12-2016, 06:27 AM (This post was last modified: 07-12-2016 06:42 AM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(05-12-2016 10:22 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  Not OCD, but I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and generalised anxiety disorder, ....

Hey that's what I got. Witch doctr's almost killed me with their damn SSRIs. Turns out serotonin deficiency wasn't my problem, dopamine was. Eventually Wellbutrin and Buspar worked. Throw in some Seroquel and Trazadone for sleep and Xanax for social anxiety and fatboy is good to go. It can take a while for the shaman to find the right drug and dose.

(06-12-2016 12:19 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  Honestly, I wish I knew... I'm not sure how to separate the feelings and thoughts that are the cause of my issues from the ones my issues generate or if there even is a cause to it

The cause of my issues is an imbalance in my neurotransmitters which uncage and agitate the black dog. It's much better when it is caged and sedated.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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07-12-2016, 06:33 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(07-12-2016 04:42 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I'm home now. My doctor was not in, so the staff arranged for me to see the first counsellor I had at uni. ... who then called the mental health crisis line which had me go to the ED.
I arrived at 10am give or take a minute or so. Then I spent until 6:50pm in an ED bed. After which I was admitted to the short stay psych ward for a while. My mother picked me up about an hour later. Now I'm here...

And i feel terrible. I haven't eaten at all today because I didn't feel like I could, now I'm home I have the urge to vomit. I just can't win can I?

But you did win! You beat the wolves and got yourself to treatment. What you didn't mention is whether you have a new appointment with the doc, or a good talk with the uni counsellor or someone at the ED.

You did exactly the right thing, you took initiative. Good for you. Next time we will see better results we hope.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-12-2016, 04:06 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(07-12-2016 06:33 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(07-12-2016 04:42 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I'm home now. My doctor was not in, so the staff arranged for me to see the first counsellor I had at uni. ... who then called the mental health crisis line which had me go to the ED.
I arrived at 10am give or take a minute or so. Then I spent until 6:50pm in an ED bed. After which I was admitted to the short stay psych ward for a while. My mother picked me up about an hour later. Now I'm here...

And i feel terrible. I haven't eaten at all today because I didn't feel like I could, now I'm home I have the urge to vomit. I just can't win can I?

But you did win! You beat the wolves and got yourself to treatment. What you didn't mention is whether you have a new appointment with the doc, or a good talk with the uni counsellor or someone at the ED.

You did exactly the right thing, you took initiative. Good for you. Next time we will see better results we hope.

I know I skipped some things... well most of the things. I just wanted to check in then.

My brain is still a bit off, so I'm bound to miss some things. I did not get much sleep at all last night, a massive storm rolled through at night. I normally rather like lightning and thunder. When the thunder's roar is set off so close I can feel it in my bones though... not so much.
Didn't help that during my sleep I managed to turn my bed into a sponge. Guess my body was still fighting off the shock of the day.

Nothing much happened between admitted and seeing the staff psychiatrist. Apparently I had picked a really bad day to report that I had gone marginally more insane, the short stay ward usually doesn't take 9 hours to admit patients, I was just unlucky. The nurse that lead me there from the ED made a point to say 'it's not a thing against you'. Guess he was taking precautions and trying to defuse me in case I was in a violent state. To his credit, I was hunched over in the bed, rocking, biting my hand, hyperventilating, and completely shut down to the world when he and the doc were finally called to me. In hindsight it wouldn't surprise me if that's what got me in...
The longer time went the worse I became... I had hoped to get admitted get assessed and go home loooooong before I did. I didn't want anybody to know what was going on.

I eventually had a talk with the psychiatrist once I had calmed down a bit; she asked me all the usual questions; how are you, who are you, are you a hallucinatory or paranoid schizophrenic, do you even want to hurt yourself or others etc etc.
She ordered that I reduce my dose back down to 40mg, she feels it's safe for me; it wasn't doing much for my mood but it wasn't letting the really intrusive thoughts through. In a few days I should expect a call from one of her staff at a local mental health community centre where I'll be able to see her or one of her colleagues on a weekly or fortnightly basis without having to worry about using up all my time with my regular psychologist who I can only see ten times a year without putting myself in debt because the governments' standard mental health structures can't handle ongoing cases properly... anyway... She or her fellow psychiatrist will be able to put me on a different medication and monitor me more closely once I can see them.
She also said it may be possible to accelerate or check on when I'll be able to get tested for ASD.

She explained everything to my mum for me, and when mum got there she was completely understanding that I wasn't too great at the moment. I'm sure she'll keep a closer eye on my again when she is home, which would honestly be a little bit bothersome but it'd be for the best.
I just have to hope that Defacto doesn't decide to lecture me on this. I don't feel like another 'you need to open up with us' shpeel, and I'm certain he does not want me to actually 'open up'. Doubt he actually wants to know just how bad the thoughts are.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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07-12-2016, 04:40 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(07-12-2016 04:06 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(07-12-2016 06:33 AM)Dom Wrote:  But you did win! You beat the wolves and got yourself to treatment. What you didn't mention is whether you have a new appointment with the doc, or a good talk with the uni counsellor or someone at the ED.

You did exactly the right thing, you took initiative. Good for you. Next time we will see better results we hope.

I know I skipped some things... well most of the things. I just wanted to check in then.

My brain is still a bit off, so I'm bound to miss some things. I did not get much sleep at all last night, a massive storm rolled through at night. I normally rather like lightning and thunder. When the thunder's roar is set off so close I can feel it in my bones though... not so much.
Didn't help that during my sleep I managed to turn my bed into a sponge. Guess my body was still fighting off the shock of the day.

Nothing much happened between admitted and seeing the staff psychiatrist. Apparently I had picked a really bad day to report that I had gone marginally more insane, the short stay ward usually doesn't take 9 hours to admit patients, I was just unlucky. The nurse that lead me there from the ED made a point to say 'it's not a thing against you'. Guess he was taking precautions and trying to defuse me in case I was in a violent state. To his credit, I was hunched over in the bed, rocking, biting my hand, hyperventilating, and completely shut down to the world when he and the doc were finally called to me. In hindsight it wouldn't surprise me if that's what got me in...
The longer time went the worse I became... I had hoped to get admitted get assessed and go home loooooong before I did. I didn't want anybody to know what was going on.

I eventually had a talk with the psychiatrist once I had calmed down a bit; she asked me all the usual questions; how are you, who are you, are you a hallucinatory or paranoid schizophrenic, do you even want to hurt yourself or others etc etc.
She ordered that I reduce my dose back down to 40mg, she feels it's safe for me; it wasn't doing much for my mood but it wasn't letting the really intrusive thoughts through. In a few days I should expect a call from one of her staff at a local mental health community centre where I'll be able to see her or one of her colleagues on a weekly or fortnightly basis without having to worry about using up all my time with my regular psychologist who I can only see ten times a year without putting myself in debt because the governments' standard mental health structures can't handle ongoing cases properly... anyway... She or her fellow psychiatrist will be able to put me on a different medication and monitor me more closely once I can see them.
She also said it may be possible to accelerate or check on when I'll be able to get tested for ASD.

She explained everything to my mum for me, and when mum got there she was completely understanding that I wasn't too great at the moment. I'm sure she'll keep a closer eye on my again when she is home, which would honestly be a little bit bothersome but it'd be for the best.
I just have to hope that Defacto doesn't decide to lecture me on this. I don't feel like another 'you need to open up with us' shpeel, and I'm certain he does not want me to actually 'open up'. Doubt he actually wants to know just how bad the thoughts are.

Oh, so this was productive, you will get more care and better monitoring and are on the way to getting balanced. This was a great thing to do then. I'm so proud of you, you went and handled things. Thumbsup

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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08-12-2016, 12:31 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
FT have you actually been diagnosed with schizophrenia? I ask 'cos I don't think you mentioned that before.

That means that even more so than when we were talking to you about depression only, doctors are important, and also holy fuck man, you can't ever blame yourself for this.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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