Getting help; an FT rambling.
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19-02-2017, 06:54 AM (This post was last modified: 19-02-2017 07:03 AM by Anjele.)
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Free...you need to make a timeline of this thread for the doctors. They really need to know what is going on with you and how often it happens...when it's bad and when it's not so bad. It will also help them to know what is going on around the times when things really dip down so they will know what your triggers or stressors are.

You didn't tell your dad, but please tell the doctors that you cried X number of times on a certain day. I understand you are trying to protect your dad's feelings but the doctors need to know and hurting their feelings isn't an issue...the issue is to make sure they really know what you are dealing with, not the cleaned up and sanitized version.

I really think if you told the doctors half of what you tell us here, they could better help you.

Sounds like your dad wants to help and he is trying to understand...let him help.

Send you big old Texas hug. Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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19-02-2017, 07:12 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(19-02-2017 05:44 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  Update to my whinerants (thought this was more appropriate post locale):

I just managed to speak with my father about my thoughts of leaving early. I told him I don't think my meds are working; I'm feeling really down and irritable and I'm not sleeping as well as I should, and felt I should try to go home sooner to try to see my doctor soon as I could.
He seems to understand. He said I should call the doc's office tomorrow morning, if I can get an earlier appointment he'll see what he can do about driving me back to the city. Said it should help a bit with my stress, which is true.

I'm sure he's at least a little upset and just isn't showing it, but I know he understands.

I feel kind of guilty about this whole thing; I know he was excited about me being around, we barely see each other since he had to move up here, and I've spent most of my time in his camper trailer (my room here) when he wanted to go fishing or woodwork for his craft store together, and now I suddenly want to leave...

I really do feel like going home is the best thing for me now though. I've been here 4 days and found myself crying three times. I didn't tell him that. Something is clearly wrong with me right now, I rarely cry even at my worst. I can't get out of my depressed feelings now, not for long anyway. I just feel so tired, physically and mentally. Feels like there never going to be an end to this damn torture, no matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise.

Enough whining and necromancing from me. I need to get ready for the weekly D&D game, hoping it will pull me out.

Crying is your brain ordering the release of dopamine to relax you and make you feel better. Crying is the med your body can produce itself. It's a sign that your meds from the doc still need adjustment.

To stop the lying to the docs, you need to look at things without identifying, to talk about things objectively. YOU didn't decide to cry, your body decided that dopamine was needed.

Try not to think: "and then I cried". Think : "and then tears started flowing...."

Be the observer and share your observations....

And, yes, like Anjele said, write it down.
Heart

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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19-02-2017, 07:49 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
I'll do my best to tell the doc everything that's been going on when I next see them. Whenever that turns out to be... Hope I can arrange something. I already have an appointment to see him from almost 4 weeks ago on the 24th, but like I told my dad, I don't want to have to sit and wait the time out if possible. Doc said it himself; at the 45mg dose, by around the 4th week the drug will be basically doing all it will do for me. Better to start finding a new drug sooner rather than later.

All these meds confuse me...The flouoxitine took about 6 weeks to start up, and hen it started I felt a lot better. My temper was under wraps, my depressive swings were weaker, I was sleeping better... worked for half a year. Then it just kept sliding down.
The mirtazapine worked within 4 weeks. In the first two it put me out like a light, but my mood didn't change, I was still stuck in the irritable, ideation filled valley from that ... episode I guess it could be called. Now it doesn't even seem to help me sleep much at all...
It's all frustrating.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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19-02-2017, 08:19 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(19-02-2017 07:49 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I'll do my best to tell the doc everything that's been going on when I next see them. Whenever that turns out to be... Hope I can arrange something. I already have an appointment to see him from almost 4 weeks ago on the 24th, but like I told my dad, I don't want to have to sit and wait the time out if possible. Doc said it himself; at the 45mg dose, by around the 4th week the drug will be basically doing all it will do for me. Better to start finding a new drug sooner rather than later.

All these meds confuse me...The flouoxitine took about 6 weeks to start up, and hen it started I felt a lot better. My temper was under wraps, my depressive swings were weaker, I was sleeping better... worked for half a year. Then it just kept sliding down.
The mirtazapine worked within 4 weeks. In the first two it put me out like a light, but my mood didn't change, I was still stuck in the irritable, ideation filled valley from that ... episode I guess it could be called. Now it doesn't even seem to help me sleep much at all...
It's all frustrating.

Yes it is frustrating. It's unfortunately still hit and miss. But it's so worth it when it works. Just keep at it......Heart

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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19-02-2017, 06:12 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
I just called the place my psychiatrist works for. He doesn't have any slots sooner than my appointment already is. The receptionist has put me on the callback list from the emergency mental health team (the ones I typically work with and see my doctor through) figuring they might be able to help me. They are undergoing morning changeover, so I don't know when I'll get their call... After that, I spoke with my father a little, I told him I would still like to go back even without an accelerated appointment. I'll repay him for the fuel when my grant comes through again next week. He seems to prefer that I go with him rather than on the bus, which I understand. He wans to talk some more, so I should probably stop typing and return...

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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19-02-2017, 06:51 PM (This post was last modified: 19-02-2017 06:55 PM by frankiej.)
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(19-02-2017 07:49 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I'll do my best to tell the doc everything that's been going on when I next see them. Whenever that turns out to be... Hope I can arrange something. I already have an appointment to see him from almost 4 weeks ago on the 24th, but like I told my dad, I don't want to have to sit and wait the time out if possible. Doc said it himself; at the 45mg dose, by around the 4th week the drug will be basically doing all it will do for me. Better to start finding a new drug sooner rather than later.

All these meds confuse me...The flouoxitine took about 6 weeks to start up, and hen it started I felt a lot better. My temper was under wraps, my depressive swings were weaker, I was sleeping better... worked for half a year. Then it just kept sliding down.
The mirtazapine worked within 4 weeks. In the first two it put me out like a light, but my mood didn't change, I was still stuck in the irritable, ideation filled valley from that ... episode I guess it could be called. Now it doesn't even seem to help me sleep much at all...
It's all frustrating.

It is mirtazapine that I am on just now. It is the third kind of antidepressant I've been on in the last 6 months and the only one which has worked for me. It doesn't, however, make me drowsy anymore either.
I tried to kill myself on three occasions towards the end of last year. I didn't seek help when I should have and one of those times was after I was on medication, but it wasn't working, so I understand the frustration at being on meds that either take so long to kick in, or just don't help your mood at all. I have made a fast turn around, but I don't know if I will ever truly know if it was the drugs or changes in my life that I made that did it. I was in hospital almost dead less than 4 months ago, now I am running my own business.

It can be so difficult to tell doctors everything that is going on. Sometimes I couldn't get the words out, but I realised I had to be 100% honest with them. The only thing is, it took me almost dying to figure that one out.

I guess all I want to say it is I understand what you are going through, so I thought I'd share a bit about what I have been going through. And I know that I have only just returned to this forum after a few years hiatus, but please drop me a message if you want to chat. I'm here to listen. Smile

Remember, You are the most important thing in your life. You come first, always.

Frankie de la Cunto
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19-02-2017, 10:24 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(19-02-2017 06:51 PM)frankiej Wrote:  
(19-02-2017 07:49 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I'll do my best to tell the doc everything that's been going on when I next see them. Whenever that turns out to be... Hope I can arrange something. I already have an appointment to see him from almost 4 weeks ago on the 24th, but like I told my dad, I don't want to have to sit and wait the time out if possible. Doc said it himself; at the 45mg dose, by around the 4th week the drug will be basically doing all it will do for me. Better to start finding a new drug sooner rather than later.

All these meds confuse me...The flouoxitine took about 6 weeks to start up, and hen it started I felt a lot better. My temper was under wraps, my depressive swings were weaker, I was sleeping better... worked for half a year. Then it just kept sliding down.
The mirtazapine worked within 4 weeks. In the first two it put me out like a light, but my mood didn't change, I was still stuck in the irritable, ideation filled valley from that ... episode I guess it could be called. Now it doesn't even seem to help me sleep much at all...
It's all frustrating.

It is mirtazapine that I am on just now. It is the third kind of antidepressant I've been on in the last 6 months and the only one which has worked for me. It doesn't, however, make me drowsy anymore either.
I tried to kill myself on three occasions towards the end of last year. I didn't seek help when I should have and one of those times was after I was on medication, but it wasn't working, so I understand the frustration at being on meds that either take so long to kick in, or just don't help your mood at all. I have made a fast turn around, but I don't know if I will ever truly know if it was the drugs or changes in my life that I made that did it. I was in hospital almost dead less than 4 months ago, now I am running my own business.

It can be so difficult to tell doctors everything that is going on. Sometimes I couldn't get the words out, but I realised I had to be 100% honest with them. The only thing is, it took me almost dying to figure that one out.

I guess all I want to say it is I understand what you are going through, so I thought I'd share a bit about what I have been going through. And I know that I have only just returned to this forum after a few years hiatus, but please drop me a message if you want to chat. I'm here to listen. Smile

Remember, You are the most important thing in your life. You come first, always.

Holy shit Frankie Undecided That's a bit hectic. I'm glad you've turned your life around though.

FT, you may think you're some unredeemable wreck but this thread... I respect your courage to continue posting updates and telling us of your struggles. I think that it's not only a good thing for you, to get some outside perspective on your problems, but you may be an inspiration to others, that they may feel more confident to discuss their own mental health issues.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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20-02-2017, 01:23 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(19-02-2017 06:12 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  I just called the place my psychiatrist works for. He doesn't have any slots sooner than my appointment already is. The receptionist has put me on the callback list from the emergency mental health team (the ones I typically work with and see my doctor through) figuring they might be able to help me. They are undergoing morning changeover, so I don't know when I'll get their call... After that, I spoke with my father a little, I told him I would still like to go back even without an accelerated appointment. I'll repay him for the fuel when my grant comes through again next week. He seems to prefer that I go with him rather than on the bus, which I understand. He wans to talk some more, so I should probably stop typing and return...

Hugs! You've got to be brutally honest with your doctor even though it's hard.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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20-02-2017, 02:29 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Thanks for the encouragement again guys.

I'm back at home now, spent some time with the cats before I finally went up stairs and announced myself to my mother and the Defacto. Stay talking with mum for about an hour about how I was doing and what was going on up at dad's place.
On the drive, I finally got the callback from my mental health team liaison as the standard check in. I told them I'm feeling really depressed lately, my sleep is erratic, and I don't think my meds are working any more, so now they know. But getting an earlier appointment to see my psychiatrist is impossible; he's all booked through to my appointment.

I'm still feeling bad, but better than before now I'm back in my room with my distractions. Not quite so much wallowing in my own misery.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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20-02-2017, 12:23 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(20-02-2017 02:29 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  Thanks for the encouragement again guys.

I'm back at home now, spent some time with the cats before I finally went up stairs and announced myself to my mother and the Defacto. Stay talking with mum for about an hour about how I was doing and what was going on up at dad's place.
On the drive, I finally got the callback from my mental health team liaison as the standard check in. I told them I'm feeling really depressed lately, my sleep is erratic, and I don't think my meds are working any more, so now they know. But getting an earlier appointment to see my psychiatrist is impossible; he's all booked through to my appointment.

I'm still feeling bad, but better than before now I'm back in my room with my distractions. Not quite so much wallowing in my own misery.

Hug


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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