Getting help; an FT rambling.
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03-05-2017, 07:45 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
^^ That guy sounds like he knows his stuff.

By the way, being a school failure doesn't mean you're a life failure. It just means school doesn't or didn't work for you in the same way that it does for other people.

Also I understand from your posts that your home situation is far from ideal - that is something that for many people makes them have difficulty with academic work. And then they naturally blame themselves, which... is incorrect.

Anyway, I hope that you continue to make progress and to tell us stuff that's on your mind. This is also good for us. If I were to ever have a mental health issue, I know that here at TTA I can discuss it and probably find a lot of help. I think one of the major problems with mental health is simply that a lot of people don't even talk about it, then one day they suddenly have a *huge* problem and it can end badly, whereas at least if one talks about it something can be done to try and help.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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03-05-2017, 08:31 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(03-05-2017 07:45 AM)morondog Wrote:  ^^ That guy sounds like he knows his stuff.

By the way, being a school failure doesn't mean you're a life failure. It just means school doesn't or didn't work for you in the same way that it does for other people.

Also I understand from your posts that your home situation is far from ideal - that is something that for many people makes them have difficulty with academic work. And then they naturally blame themselves, which... is incorrect.

Anyway, I hope that you continue to make progress and to tell us stuff that's on your mind. This is also good for us. If I were to ever have a mental health issue, I know that here at TTA I can discuss it and probably find a lot of help. I think one of the major problems with mental health is simply that a lot of people don't even talk about it, then one day they suddenly have a *huge* problem and it can end badly, whereas at least if one talks about it something can be done to try and help.

I agree, talking is good, here or with the counsellors. It lets some of the steam off. Talking here doesn't necessarily fix things, the counsellor has a shot at that. But talking here should take the pressure off.

Regarding learning, is there anything that catches your personal attention? For me it's plants and animals, they fascinate me. For you it could be anything, food, sports, science, what have you, anything goes. Then start browsing the topic. You'll find you learn tons. Just keep following what raises your interest level, no matter where it leads. It's fun, and you inadvertently learn all sorts of things. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you trust yourself, regardless of topic.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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03-05-2017, 08:37 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(03-05-2017 07:45 AM)morondog Wrote:  ^^ That guy sounds like he knows his stuff.

By the way, being a school failure doesn't mean you're a life failure. It just means school doesn't or didn't work for you in the same way that it does for other people.

Also I understand from your posts that your home situation is far from ideal - that is something that for many people makes them have difficulty with academic work. And then they naturally blame themselves, which... is incorrect.

Anyway, I hope that you continue to make progress and to tell us stuff that's on your mind. This is also good for us. If I were to ever have a mental health issue, I know that here at TTA I can discuss it and probably find a lot of help. I think one of the major problems with mental health is simply that a lot of people don't even talk about it, then one day they suddenly have a *huge* problem and it can end badly, whereas at least if one talks about it something can be done to try and help.

I know that my failures in academics don't necessarily mean that I myself am a failure. Rationally I know that, but the thoughts still kind of creep in sometimes. It doesn't help that until now, basically my entire life was defined by academic achievement... or more accurately, my lack thereof. I had nothing else really going for me that I could take pride in or anything like that; my entire concept of worth was built entirely around my ability to perform academically.

I still have huge issues stemming from that; the constant stream of failures at uni, the feeling that I'm not achieving anything and are just spinning my wheels is a huge drain on me. But now I have other things I can kind of rely on to hold me up; it's getting easier to convince myself that I have worth outside of academic achievement. If I read through my reps here, it's easier to believe them and lean on them. I have my photography too. I'm not great, but I'm pretty good, all things considered.

I'll keep updates coming every so often when I feel the need. No sense letting it sit and simmer.

Honestly I've been down again lately, relative to my last actually update; uni is a bitch. And the thoughts aren't helping. More frequently I wish I could just take a year to try and get myself right, then start fresh, but nothing for it but to whine, and muddle through.
I've been constantly tired recently too, which is a drag.

I had been stop whinging and go to bed.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
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03-05-2017, 08:56 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(03-05-2017 07:45 AM)morondog Wrote:  By the way, being a school failure doesn't mean you're a life failure. It just means school doesn't or didn't work for you in the same way that it does for other people.

Hells yeah on this on. I SUCKED in high school, like really did big time. I barely got away with like "minimum grades", and did pretty much the same in college as well. Ended up going straight into work, but I had an idea of what I wanted to do, and whilst it took me some time to accomplish it, I'm in an ideal role that supports both me and my family. And I got here from the bottom of the pack, and worked up, learning as I went.

The pressures of society say "do well at school/college/whatever", yet they don't tell you that experience is like 99% of everything. Plus depending on what you do in higher education, should you choose to do it, make sure you pick the "right" course. For example, I have two friends, both went into the exact same fields of study, yet one picked a course with "work experience" and the other didn't. Nearly 10 years later, the work experience guy is doing very well (having had his work experience outside of the country) whilst the other guy has no experience at all, and can't get his foot in the door.

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03-05-2017, 09:45 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(03-05-2017 08:37 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(03-05-2017 07:45 AM)morondog Wrote:  ^^ That guy sounds like he knows his stuff.

By the way, being a school failure doesn't mean you're a life failure. It just means school doesn't or didn't work for you in the same way that it does for other people.

Also I understand from your posts that your home situation is far from ideal - that is something that for many people makes them have difficulty with academic work. And then they naturally blame themselves, which... is incorrect.

Anyway, I hope that you continue to make progress and to tell us stuff that's on your mind. This is also good for us. If I were to ever have a mental health issue, I know that here at TTA I can discuss it and probably find a lot of help. I think one of the major problems with mental health is simply that a lot of people don't even talk about it, then one day they suddenly have a *huge* problem and it can end badly, whereas at least if one talks about it something can be done to try and help.

I know that my failures in academics don't necessarily mean that I myself am a failure. Rationally I know that, but the thoughts still kind of creep in sometimes. It doesn't help that until now, basically my entire life was defined by academic achievement... or more accurately, my lack thereof. I had nothing else really going for me that I could take pride in or anything like that; my entire concept of worth was built entirely around my ability to perform academically.

I still have huge issues stemming from that; the constant stream of failures at uni, the feeling that I'm not achieving anything and are just spinning my wheels is a huge drain on me. But now I have other things I can kind of rely on to hold me up; it's getting easier to convince myself that I have worth outside of academic achievement. If I read through my reps here, it's easier to believe them and lean on them. I have my photography too. I'm not great, but I'm pretty good, all things considered.

I'll keep updates coming every so often when I feel the need. No sense letting it sit and simmer.

Honestly I've been down again lately, relative to my last actually update; uni is a bitch. And the thoughts aren't helping. More frequently I wish I could just take a year to try and get myself right, then start fresh, but nothing for it but to whine, and muddle through.
I've been constantly tired recently too, which is a drag.

I had been stop whinging and go to bed.

Take pics when you are at uni. See if it doesn't make you feel better. And pics could be really interesting, you could shoot all kinds of things and places and people there.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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03-05-2017, 04:53 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
This group and the guy sound very promising...I am happy to hear that.

Come and vent when you need to. Share your photography. Dig up some of that wonderful wit of yours and share it with us more often.

There's not a magic fix; you know that. Just keep accepting offers of help, some people don't have that available to them or can't seem to take advantage of what is.

It really sounds to me like you opened up a lot...that's a big step and one that's in the right direction.

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03-05-2017, 10:05 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(03-05-2017 08:31 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(03-05-2017 07:45 AM)morondog Wrote:  ^^ That guy sounds like he knows his stuff.

By the way, being a school failure doesn't mean you're a life failure. It just means school doesn't or didn't work for you in the same way that it does for other people.

Also I understand from your posts that your home situation is far from ideal - that is something that for many people makes them have difficulty with academic work. And then they naturally blame themselves, which... is incorrect.

Anyway, I hope that you continue to make progress and to tell us stuff that's on your mind. This is also good for us. If I were to ever have a mental health issue, I know that here at TTA I can discuss it and probably find a lot of help. I think one of the major problems with mental health is simply that a lot of people don't even talk about it, then one day they suddenly have a *huge* problem and it can end badly, whereas at least if one talks about it something can be done to try and help.

I agree, talking is good, here or with the counsellors. It lets some of the steam off. Talking here doesn't necessarily fix things, the counsellor has a shot at that. But talking here should take the pressure off.

Regarding learning, is there anything that catches your personal attention? For me it's plants and animals, they fascinate me. For you it could be anything, food, sports, science, what have you, anything goes. Then start browsing the topic. You'll find you learn tons. Just keep following what raises your interest level, no matter where it leads. It's fun, and you inadvertently learn all sorts of things. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you trust yourself, regardless of topic.

Unfortunately, my interests bounce around a lot. I can be super interested in one thing, and bored of it a few minutes later...I entered my degree because animal behaviour has always been an interest of mine, but there's been a lot less of that specifically than I had hoped. Even with my interest in the topic, it's hard to engage in my degree. Often I just lack the energy in myself to do anything toward it... which does not help my academic standing, and my mood, which just feeds back and back and blah.

(03-05-2017 09:45 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(03-05-2017 08:37 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I know that my failures in academics don't necessarily mean that I myself am a failure. Rationally I know that, but the thoughts still kind of creep in sometimes. It doesn't help that until now, basically my entire life was defined by academic achievement... or more accurately, my lack thereof. I had nothing else really going for me that I could take pride in or anything like that; my entire concept of worth was built entirely around my ability to perform academically.

I still have huge issues stemming from that; the constant stream of failures at uni, the feeling that I'm not achieving anything and are just spinning my wheels is a huge drain on me. But now I have other things I can kind of rely on to hold me up; it's getting easier to convince myself that I have worth outside of academic achievement. If I read through my reps here, it's easier to believe them and lean on them. I have my photography too. I'm not great, but I'm pretty good, all things considered.

I'll keep updates coming every so often when I feel the need. No sense letting it sit and simmer.

Honestly I've been down again lately, relative to my last actually update; uni is a bitch. And the thoughts aren't helping. More frequently I wish I could just take a year to try and get myself right, then start fresh, but nothing for it but to whine, and muddle through.
I've been constantly tired recently too, which is a drag.

I had been stop whinging and go to bed.

Take pics when you are at uni. See if it doesn't make you feel better. And pics could be really interesting, you could shoot all kinds of things and places and people there.

I do take my camera to uni, and sometimes get photos, but there isn't often much to see. The finches and ducks are there, but I've taken plenty of photos of them. If I could get a better lens, I'd revisit the finch aviary though... Generally, it gives me a momentary respite from the thoughts that Uni entails, but not much.

(03-05-2017 04:53 PM)Anjele Wrote:  This group and the guy sound very promising...I am happy to hear that.

Come and vent when you need to. Share your photography. Dig up some of that wonderful wit of yours and share it with us more often.

There's not a magic fix; you know that. Just keep accepting offers of help, some people don't have that available to them or can't seem to take advantage of what is.

It really sounds to me like you opened up a lot...that's a big step and one that's in the right direction.

Thumbsup

Heart

I will. Actually have new pictures already for the thread. I feel bad about posting there so often though. I feel spammy...

Thanks guys Hug

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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03-05-2017, 10:08 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(03-05-2017 10:05 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(03-05-2017 08:31 AM)Dom Wrote:  I agree, talking is good, here or with the counsellors. It lets some of the steam off. Talking here doesn't necessarily fix things, the counsellor has a shot at that. But talking here should take the pressure off.

Regarding learning, is there anything that catches your personal attention? For me it's plants and animals, they fascinate me. For you it could be anything, food, sports, science, what have you, anything goes. Then start browsing the topic. You'll find you learn tons. Just keep following what raises your interest level, no matter where it leads. It's fun, and you inadvertently learn all sorts of things. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you trust yourself, regardless of topic.

Unfortunately, my interests bounce around a lot. I can be super interested in one thing, and bored of it a few minutes later...I entered my degree because animal behaviour has always been an interest of mine, but there's been a lot less of that specifically than I had hoped. Even with my interest in the topic, it's hard to engage in my degree. Often I just lack the energy in myself to do anything toward it... which does not help my academic standing, and my mood, which just feeds back and back and blah.

(03-05-2017 09:45 AM)Dom Wrote:  Take pics when you are at uni. See if it doesn't make you feel better. And pics could be really interesting, you could shoot all kinds of things and places and people there.

I do take my camera to uni, and sometimes get photos, but there isn't often much to see. The finches and ducks are there, but I've taken plenty of photos of them. If I could get a better lens, I'd revisit the finch aviary though... Generally, it gives me a momentary respite from the thoughts that Uni entails, but not much.

(03-05-2017 04:53 PM)Anjele Wrote:  This group and the guy sound very promising...I am happy to hear that.

Come and vent when you need to. Share your photography. Dig up some of that wonderful wit of yours and share it with us more often.

There's not a magic fix; you know that. Just keep accepting offers of help, some people don't have that available to them or can't seem to take advantage of what is.

It really sounds to me like you opened up a lot...that's a big step and one that's in the right direction.

Thumbsup

Heart

I will. Actually have new pictures already for the thread. I feel bad about posting there so often though. I feel spammy...

Thanks guys Hug

You are not being spammy.

You have a lot of friends here who want to know how you are doing and want to offer an ear at least.

Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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04-05-2017, 12:26 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(20-11-2015 06:18 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  As a number on the forum know, I'm have my fair-share of problems, which (I assume to their annoyance), I have refused to get help with many times for various reasons, all irrational.
This thread is about that; primarily I just wanted to get all of the below out of my head and somewhere ‘real’, but I’m also looking for advice and perspective (as stated at the end). I also kinda felt I owed it to some members on the forum who have tirelessly put up with my occasional inane whining and tried to push me in the right direction (you know who you are).
... I've put marks to cut my rambling in half; first lot is just details I wanted to get out of my head, the rest is 'proper' stuff.
I hope any poor phrasing and my blabbering written manner can be excused, I'm still tired from yesterday.


Yesterday was, at first, a very hard day for me. I was traipsing around outside of my domain in ~36 degree (~96.8) sun because I had somewhere to be; I was to see a psychiatrist. (Before I get started, I guess I should say that this day has been a few weeks in the making, as I was forced into seeing a counsellor at uni for my academic problems, which expanded to seeing one of the in-house docs to get a referral.)
Unfortunately I was an hour early because I can't time for shit and had to spend that time outside because I'm a crazy person who couldn't push myself to entire the building before my time to. Also, I was busy trying to keep in control of the irrational discomfort that was slowly growing by the minute. By the time I go in, I've pretty much reverted to a mute, only able to manage short words when a clerk at the main reception desk noticed my looking around confused and beckoned me over; 'I.. have this..." I was able mutter, showing her the letter I had, she directed me to where I was supposed to be and I did the same with a lady at the mental health desk. I sat down as instructed and proceeded to wait for my doctor. For a while it was empty. Just me sitting out of sight of the receptionists, fidgeting and looking around, struggling to control myself; my mind was a tempest of irrational fear, disgust, anger, and impatience at the time. My frustration only grew as an old gentleman who seemingly had the mind of a child walked in, shouting happily in greeting to somebody passing by. It was an almost half an hour wait...
Eventually the psych came, introduced herself and showed me to her office, while I walked quietly behind, head down in my shoulders, glancing around nervously. When we got to her office, she told me to take a seat, closed the door, sat at her desk with a pad and pen and asked me why I was there. This was the hardest part of my day. For what felt like a few very long minutes, I sat there, looking around, wringing my hands, occasionally dumbly opening my mouth to speak and having no words. Eventually, she took the initiative, asking a different question 'Do you have trouble speaking?' I tried to respond but couldn't again. I gave a shallow nod instead. 'is this normal?' 'I managed to mumble a 'no', which she forced me to repeat louder because she didn't hear properly. Soon I was able to explain it's only when I'm in a situation like this; a new environment or with new people. She repeated her first question; why, did I think, my gp (a doc at the uni) had referred me to the mental health clinic. Eventually I was able to respond that the doc, at the behest of my counsellor, had a look at me and thought I might have depression, so they referred me. Though not in so many words.
As I was starting to calm down enough to speak, she started to go through the standard questions, starting with what I like to do; I like to read and play video games. "Are you any good at them?" (The answer is no) "What kinds of books do you like to read?", and so on. Eventually she moves to my home life, and I ended up discussing some of the problems I had with my family; I have very little in common with any of them, I try to stay away from them when possible because I want to try to keep out of their way and avoid bothering them, my older brother is autistic and it makes him hypersensitive to pretty much anything so talking to him about things is difficult without him getting upset (because I tend to be analytical and critical about things that don't make sense or I don’t like), my older sister being self-centred and easy to anger and our history of fighting, my mother's de-facto having 'some annoying tendencies' and so on.
We move to how I feel; I'm tired. 'often?' 'yes.' 'Do you sleep well?' 'no.' 'Is it trouble getting to sleep, you do you wake up a lot?' 'Getting to sleep... Sleep for me is usually I black out and suddenly I wake up to my cat banging on my door around 6. It's just trying to actually get to sleep; when I close my eyes, I 'see' things, like spiders, centipedes and things. I can fix it with the light of my monitor, but then the light becomes a problem.' 'Are you afraid of those things?' 'No, but spiders and insects to irrationally disgust me in some way... it's the segmented bodies...'
She asks how else I feel. I tell her my mood usually tends to be one of three things; a feeling of indifference and boredom that I can't shake, anger and frustration, and a depressed feeling where everything is an effort. Unless I'm in a situation like this, then it's terribly anxious with a host of fun physical reactions like my skin going cold, profuse sweating, becoming twitchy, heart racing, shortness of breath, difficulty speaking, feeling sick in my stomach etc. Moments where I’m happy do happen, but they usually are few and far between.
We eventually get around to the problem that started all this; the problem that got me first seeing a counsellor, then a doctor and now her: my academic problems: no matter how hard I try, I often can't focus on my work and end up getting frustrated and doing other things, if not that, I just can't get the energy to even bother trying.
After fumbling to explain myself adequately, I started talking about my other problem with work, which has stuck around since the early years of high school; a feeling that my work isn't good enough to bother handing up, which I expound upon.
I tell her about the 'voice' in the back of my mind. (It has been hard to tell everybody I've spoken to about it; I'm afraid I may miscommunicate what it is and sound like a loon.) I know it is a part of me; I don't think it is external, but I can't describe it in any other way than as a 'voice' or feeling. Because it is always negative, it feels somehow distinct from my usual thoughts. It tells me that all the work I do is garbage, not worth submission. It also extends to me in general; everything I do is done wrong, it tells me I am worthless. (I didn't mention that over the years it's become more noticeable.)
She later asked if I ever had suicidal thoughts. The answer is yes; I tend to try to hold everything in and don't really release anything. Sometimes something will just throw me over the edge of control and cause me to lose it. When that happens, sometimes the 'voice' gets easier to 'hear' and sometimes it tells me that things would be better if I did end it. I've never done anything and don't plan to act on it anytime soon, but I can't help but feel weak and chide myself for even thinking such things.

The conversation goes on for a while, but those were the major points.

________________________________________________________________________________​________________________________________________________________________________​_____________________________________________

The psych went on to give me her diagnosis: I have depression. According to her, my moods, concentration problems, that unending critical 'voice'; all my 'problems' are consistent with it and by my description, I've had it for a long time, and it's only been made worse by the stress of university and the 'recent' (a few months back now) death of my dog.

She wants my GP to run a few tests to make sure there isn't a physiological reason behind it; some lurking illness I'm unaware of (I doubt that's the case, but it pays to be thorough), and depending on the results, she wants my doc to rig it so that I can start treatment with therapy and antidepressants as soon as possible, which she seems to think I'll be on for a while. She made sure to tell me that I need to be patient with the meds; 'sometimes it can take a few weeks for them to work', she also made sure to warn me to not just stop taking them when I do start to feel better, if I do it could just send me back down.
She did suggest some things I can do in the meantime and throughout that might help me; she said I should start talking walks to help clear my head (and for the exercise value). She also brought up the notion of getting myself a new pet to help me get over my old dog; I explained that I already have my two cats which have proven helpful. She said that later on, when I am better, that I should start considering finding a job related to my field of study to have something to do, and moving out of my family's house to avoid the stress they give me.

It feels weird to say, but I would be lying if I said that the diagnosis didn't leave me feeling a little better; knowing there is actually something wrong with me, and that there is actually a way out of the pseudo-hell I've been largely trapped in for so many years is a strangely good feeling.
However, this has raised its own small slew of concerns; I spoke to my father about it, believing he had a right to know. Suffice it to say, he is opposed to me taking medications. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he thought all of this (my seeing the counsellor, doc and psych and this conclusion itself) was bullshit, since he has in the past seemed to have trouble letting go of the past and accepting that the happy-happy joy-joy six year old who always wanted to play and go fishing is dead and has been for a very long time.

On the other side of things, I told my mother and as a result couldn't avoid informing her de-facto. While my mother seems to understand for the most part, I doubt she quite ever will completely, I doubt anybody will (even myself), the de facto predictably decided he knows best and proceeded to lecture me that I need to go out and do things rather than be on my PC all day, my feelings, and the fact that the internet (this forum and Quora particularly) and my games are the only things which really work now to give me any distraction from the unrelenting boredom (among other feelings I try to escape daily) that is my life be damned. Of course, I haven’t told anybody else myself (aside from whomever might read this now that is), so I’ve not had to deal with anybody else yet, but secrets cannot hold forever. My mother already slipped up twice, first getting the de facto involved when I first told her about seeing the counsellor, and again when she let the counsellor slip in front of my sister (who seems none the wiser as to what is actually happening or is being smart enough to stay out of it), so I’m sure I’ve have to address it with others sooner or later.

I have my own concerns about it. Assuming I will end up on them, I find myself, probably irrationally, worrying about whether the antidepressants might cause me to become different in some way. I mean, in a way I don’t want to risk losing what I am now, probably because it’s all I’ve known for a very long time. Don’t get me wrong, I honestly wouldn’t curse my greatest enemy to experience my daily mind, I want to be free from all this bullshit, but I can’t help wondering what will I even be when I’m on the exiting side of all this? Will I even recognise who I am? Or am I just being stupid and worrying over nonsense with no evidence supporting the concern?

I can’t suppress that critic in the back of my skull; saying I’m just wasting the time of others, I’m not worth it, I’m just weak enough for it to be a problem, turns out I am nuts, a doc said so, I should be able to deal with my own problems.
Also, I can’t help but feel vulnerable. I’m not used to letting people know what’s going on in my head outside of superficial stuff.

I have two options now; I can turn back, betray the efforts of those I’ve seen so far and begin walking down the familiar path I’ve trod for so long, or I can go along with the forces pushing me forward and march down the road I’ve been forced onto in recent weeks. And if it means salvation from myself, I’m not going to allow myself to turn back.

I know it will be my own path to tread, but if anybody has experience or perspective to offer, it would be appreciated.

TLDR LINE________________________________________________________________________________​________________________________________________________________________________​___________________________________

Yesterday I saw a psych and was diagnosed with depression, now you people (you know who you are) can now stop bugging me about getting help for my problems any time I try to vent.

(Note; I'm not even sure if here is the appropriate area, given the health and psychology section...)

Dude. You know what. I've noticed many people who try and tell a person to "get help" really just don't wanna deal with them. They think that other humans well being is someone else's problem. Not everyone is like this, some may feel overwhelmed and genuinely want help for you but feel unable to. And others may try to make real meaningful effort. And I'm glad you got some help (hopefully a diagnosis helps at least a little). But... idk... I don't think you complaining about shit here should be a problem.... (then again I kinda complain a lot here as many may have noticed), You're fine dude. As far as I can tell you're pretty cool and I like you. And if you want someone that'll listen, PM me. I may bitch a lot, but I'm also down to listen to other people bitchin. I used to never talk to anyone about anything, it was actually through the concerted effort of a couple of ex girlfriends, and my destroyed marriage that I realized something about me needed to change that made me become more open.

So I'm not gonna knock your balls for needing to vent k. I hope the best for you, and Am glad you are seeking help. But I'm not gonna tell you to go somewhere else for help. Cause I wouldn't be in this particular corner of the forum just so I can tell you to piss off. I'm here to help. And to get help myself. So I hope you don't ever feel like you can't talk openly here dude.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
Big Grin
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05-06-2017, 07:30 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Just checking in.

Been feeling off... again... Blew up and bolted from the house two weeks back, but that's blown over. Just feeling bad. Not even a good definable reason or feeling for it. It's just 'bleh'. It's really frustrating, but at the same time I can't muster much of an effort to be frustrated at the constant/continuous down-periods.

Going to be a long day tomorrow: Seeing my psych in the morning, and if that weren't exhausting enough I'll be seeing the Program Psych a few hours later, so I'll be out all day with nothing to really do between the gap in my two appointments.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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