Getting help; an FT rambling.
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02-08-2017, 02:12 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Now that you have been diagnosed, what changes, if anything? I mean, as far as I know autism isn't actually a disease - it's more like a specific type of personality? I mean, I guess it's good to know you're autistic, but what does that mean in terms of your depression and other stuff?

Apologies if these are intrusive questions. I'm just being curious, so please do feel free to tell me to fuck off Tongue

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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02-08-2017, 02:25 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(02-08-2017 02:12 AM)morondog Wrote:  Now that you have been diagnosed, what changes, if anything? I mean, as far as I know autism isn't actually a disease - it's more like a specific type of personality? I mean, I guess it's good to know you're autistic, but what does that mean in terms of your depression and other stuff?

Apologies if these are intrusive questions. I'm just being curious, so please do feel free to tell me to fuck off Tongue

To my understanding, the information will make it easier for my docs and psychs to look at ways to manage my issues to better fit the refined profile, if that makes sense. It also answers questions about myself, partly why I am what and who I am is answered by the diagnosis; my brain really is wired differently, which makes my interactions a tad different.

Additionally I may be able to take extra government funding for disability. I'm not fond of the idea myself, but if I did qualify and take it, it would make life easier for the whole house. And it may make work prospects more manageable in the future that is, hooray, disability rights!

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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02-08-2017, 04:39 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(02-08-2017 02:25 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(02-08-2017 02:12 AM)morondog Wrote:  Now that you have been diagnosed, what changes, if anything? I mean, as far as I know autism isn't actually a disease - it's more like a specific type of personality? I mean, I guess it's good to know you're autistic, but what does that mean in terms of your depression and other stuff?

Apologies if these are intrusive questions. I'm just being curious, so please do feel free to tell me to fuck off Tongue

To my understanding, the information will make it easier for my docs and psychs to look at ways to manage my issues to better fit the refined profile, if that makes sense. It also answers questions about myself, partly why I am what and who I am is answered by the diagnosis; my brain really is wired differently, which makes my interactions a tad different.

Additionally I may be able to take extra government funding for disability. I'm not fond of the idea myself, but if I did qualify and take it, it would make life easier for the whole house. And it may make work prospects more manageable in the future that is, hooray, disability rights!

Your diagnosis may also make things smoother for you at University. You can arrange for accommodations, whether that's extra time to do assignments or tweaking of group- or presentation-based assignments, etc. The work won't be easier, but it will be easier for you to do it because you won't be dealing with some of the things that used to get in your way.

Congratulations for going through with the testing process; that was a big thing.
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02-08-2017, 05:07 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(02-08-2017 04:39 AM)julep Wrote:  
(02-08-2017 02:25 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  To my understanding, the information will make it easier for my docs and psychs to look at ways to manage my issues to better fit the refined profile, if that makes sense. It also answers questions about myself, partly why I am what and who I am is answered by the diagnosis; my brain really is wired differently, which makes my interactions a tad different.

Additionally I may be able to take extra government funding for disability. I'm not fond of the idea myself, but if I did qualify and take it, it would make life easier for the whole house. And it may make work prospects more manageable in the future that is, hooray, disability rights!

Your diagnosis may also make things smoother for you at University. You can arrange for accommodations, whether that's extra time to do assignments or tweaking of group- or presentation-based assignments, etc. The work won't be easier, but it will be easier for you to do it because you won't be dealing with some of the things that used to get in your way.

Congratulations for going through with the testing process; that was a big thing.

Funnily enough, my previous diagnoses already gave me limited access to those sorts of privileges, not that I really use them.

Thanks, it was not an easy thing to do. But now I know.

... also better now prep for my first lab of the year tomorrow :shudder: and then crawl into bed. Today has been exhausting.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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03-08-2017, 06:35 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
The lab turned out to be much mess tiring than I expected; I already knew what I was doing, and there was somebody I had worked with previously, so I didn't have to do my usual 'stand around awkwardly and hope a demonstrator put me with somebody' routine... Aside from a bit of beginning awkwardness during the start of the experiment when I has to do some math and just ended up basically listening for the answer, things were great. My partner and I were actually the first to finish, which was cool. I'm used to being the last to cross the finish line.

So yeah... most of my anxiety driving issues are out the window for that particular lab, since I've already got an established routine now.

Speaking of anxiety..... I'm going to a birthday dinner tomorrow night. My mother's father is getting a year older, and for reasons I can't wrap my head around, mum's parents invited her as is natural, and confusingly, me. Not my mother's defacto, not my brother, or both of them or all of us; me. I don't get it. Mum said we wont be there long since she isn't feeling great. I hope things go well. I don't fit in well with parties and stuff.. I wont have anything to say; too old to talk to the younger cousins if they are there, too young to get in with the older folk, and too me to really try either anyway.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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04-08-2017, 11:56 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Out the fucking window go my good feels.

Just got an email from my uni... My progress is unsatisfactory, and unless I can prove to some committee that I deserve to continue my degree, I'm going to be kicked out.

I have no right to be surprised by this. I've been a failure my entire life, no reason to expect that to ever change, least of all not now. I should have expected this. It's what wastes of time and resources like me deserve. I knew this would be the ultimate result of my enrolling at uni when I was first doing the paperwork, but I did it anyway.

Why should I even try anyway. I should just give up. I'm clearly not meant to do anything by waste shit. I thought maybe this would be the semester I got back on track. Clearly it wont be. Why bother any more.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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05-08-2017, 12:23 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(04-08-2017 11:56 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  Out the fucking window go my good feels.

Just got an email from my uni... My progress is unsatisfactory, and unless I can prove to some committee that I deserve to continue my degree, I'm going to be kicked out.

I have no right to be surprised by this. I've been a failure my entire life, no reason to expect that to ever change, least of all not now. I should have expected this. It's what wastes of time and resources like me deserve. I knew this would be the ultimate result of my enrolling at uni when I was first doing the paperwork, but I did it anyway.

Why should I even try anyway. I should just give up. I'm clearly not meant to do anything by waste shit. I thought maybe this would be the semester I got back on track. Clearly it wont be. Why bother any more.

The official dx of ASD might prove helpful.

Don't give up. Heart


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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05-08-2017, 12:52 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(05-08-2017 12:23 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Don't give up. Heart

This. Hug

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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05-08-2017, 12:59 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(04-08-2017 11:56 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  Out the fucking window go my good feels.

Just got an email from my uni... My progress is unsatisfactory, and unless I can prove to some committee that I deserve to continue my degree, I'm going to be kicked out.

I have no right to be surprised by this. I've been a failure my entire life, no reason to expect that to ever change, least of all not now. I should have expected this. It's what wastes of time and resources like me deserve. I knew this would be the ultimate result of my enrolling at uni when I was first doing the paperwork, but I did it anyway.

Why should I even try anyway. I should just give up. I'm clearly not meant to do anything by waste shit. I thought maybe this would be the semester I got back on track. Clearly it wont be. Why bother any more.

Brother, don't be too down. Let's say they do kick you out. It's not the end. It just means one path is closed to you. But my belief is that if you can show them that you are sincerely trying to learn and make the best of your life, and this thread is something you could even cite as evidence if you felt comfortable, then they should be disposed to give you another chance.

You have made significant progress I believe. Your photography has become an interest. You have not just accepted that you should be a failure before - you fought it, going for all these tests and psychologists was you actively taking steps to help yourself. But even if they don't, you can still move forward with your life.

It can feel unfair that life throws these challenges at us. Don't falter at this one more hurdle. It's just another hurdle. No different to the others that came before, and there will be other hurdles later in life. Sometimes people fall on their face when they envisaged themselves leaping gracefully over such a challenge. It doesn't matter. There's oddly no time limit on this race.

You may find your life going in a complete different direction than you ever thought. Would you consider, for example, being a news photographer?

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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05-08-2017, 02:14 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
I won't have documentation of the ASD diagnosis for 3-4 weeks, my response deadline is the 18th of this month.

I need qualifications for basically any job I could realistically do, which I'd get via uni or a similar program, even trade work.

I lose uni, I lose everything I get over the last two and a half apparently wasted years. Doc? Gone. Psychs? Gone. Ability to buy my own damn food and help keep a roof over my immediate family's heads? Fucking gone.

Everything would be easier if I could just lay down and not wake. Why bother with the effort if all I get is more fails on my record.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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