Getting help; an FT rambling.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
22-11-2015, 09:21 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Stick with it, FT. The first step is the hardest and now you have conquered that. The next step will be easier, and the step after that even easier.

Hug

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Thinkerbelle's post
08-12-2015, 11:36 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Ma soeur was on fluoxetene pretty much permanently. It helped her a lot. She was in many ways similar to how you describe yourself in your OP. On fluoxetene she could function. She didn't like it much - said it made her feelings kinda numb - and several times she took herself off the meds without telling anyone. If I can give you one piece of advice, don't do that. She did eventually figure it out, stayed on the prescribed meds and was a much happier and more fun person as a result.

Don't be sad if you have to take it even permanently. It's like people who take diabetes meds for life, or any other chronic diseases.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes morondog's post
09-12-2015, 12:01 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Hi FT.
Sorry it has taken me a while to respond.

I read your response to me and know that I cannot really know another person. I mean look at me. These days I can sit wearing headphones for hours not listening to anything. Both yesterday and today are chemo brain days. Thoughts jumbled and all over the place. My ability to play instruments has deteriorated so much...

I guess all I can say is we can both understand struggle. As I mentioned elsewhere I recently presented as suicidal at the ED of the hospital. Depression is very hard to combat. This is my 14th month of chemo, I have had 30 lumbar punctures since September 14 and 34 bone marrow biopsies and since july have had an experimental drug infusion that totally messes with my mind. 24/7.

With all this I still see in you a person I can hold in respect. You can and will overcome this. It may take some time mate. I am with you or rather you are in my thoughts. I still have confidence in you.

Good luck mate. D.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Banjo's post
26-01-2016, 05:14 PM (This post was last modified: 26-01-2016 05:19 PM by Free Thought.)
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
[insert necropost here]

Morondog asked me to update this thread occasionally, so here it is...

It's been a while since I was pushed off the tracks I was on and forced to start my march down my new path, so there has been a good amount of time for adjustment for me and those around, and things are noticeably different in some ways (and depending on who is asked).

According to my mother and her defacto (though it is more him), the drugs are working; they think I've been increasingly 'less mopey' as time has gone by. I'm not sure I agree, it's more like they are just attempting to engage me more often or are simply paying more attention to my existence now they are aware of something wrong; like how you tend to notice a botched bit of paint that had been around forever once somebody else points it out.

Personally, I've been feeling strange. While before all this began my mood was either a simple bored indifference, a constant frustration or rage, or an all-encompassing empty sort of depressed feeling, things have shifted to a somewhat less 'defined' state.
As time has gone by, I've been feeling far less of the 'frustration-time'; it's getting steadily harder for something to throw me into a rage; it's kind of like the once constant pressure to explode has dissipated somehow. However, it feels like in its place, the other two 'modes' have moved in and begun to 'meld' somewhat, so while I'm less likely to be angered at any given time, I'm often just feeling an empty sort of boredom. I
I don't know if anything of this makes sense.

Of course, my explosive frustration may simply have been tempered by behavioural changes that have occurred in those around me, most notably has been a change my mother has undergone; while largely unchanged, she seems to be developing the habit of checking on me to 'make sure (I'm) okay' on the (progressively rarer) incidences where I do go off. In years previously she would only intervene to make me shut up. I guess seeing me be rendered catatonic by a breakdown a week-odd after being informed of the diagnosis made the fact of the matter sink in that maybe something actually was wrong and maybe she should actually do something.

However, the frustration is not gone entirely, as my occasional visits to the uni counsellor well remind me. It's not that the counsellor is frustrating, don't get me wrong. But when I am speaking with her, I get frustrated by myself, because in order to communicate on her terms, I need to actually examine how I have been feeling in an emotional way, rather than my normal 'clinical' approach to try to disregard my feelings and look for alternate reasons for things, which is not an easy thing to do given my nature and that it has been one method that has evolved over time to deal them by not dwelling on them and their uncomfortable nature.

Perhaps the strangest change in me recently has been my reception of 'positive' feelings; whether it's the slow decreasing of the more negative feelings or actual increased ability to happy, I don't know, but within the past two or so weeks I've been progressively more cognisant of a strangely positive feeling; the best way I can describe it is a reprieve from the other moods. Unfortunately, while it is getting more common, it is usually just a fleeting feeling, supplanted soon after by that empty sort of depressed feeling.

I hope some of this makes some semblance of something with could be construed as sense...

I'll be seeing the counsellor and then a 'disability advisor' later today, the latter part I'm not particularly looking forward to mostly because new people and I don't mix. And on the 3rd of Feb, I will be going to see a psych to start a long-term therapy sort of thing in order to help with the depression and anxiety problems, which is going to be absolutely horrifying.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Free Thought's post
26-01-2016, 05:53 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Hug

I'm proud of you FT. Heart


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Momsurroundedbyboys's post
26-01-2016, 06:16 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
My daughter came to me 8 years ago at 18 saying she would have panic attacks and anxiety and needed help. I told her that I cannot understand what she is going through, but that if she would be open with me about what she needed and how she was feeling, I would do everything I knew to do to get her help from someone who could understand and I'd help her as best I could. That was 8 years ago. She has changed her meds several times (as she matured more, hormones required changes) and she keeps a therapist nearby to talk to occassionally still. She has learned several things: Do not come off your meds without telling your doctor/against her advice.
Do not try to self medicate wtih things like cocaine and alcohol after coming off those meds. DO keep your doctor appointments. DO find someone you can call or talk to openly. DO find tools to help you make it through whatever is tough for you. Get you a bag of tools to reach into. For my daughter, it is mediation and dance and practicing mindfullness. DO realize it doesn't stop your life. My daughter is amazing and has accomplished things neither she nor I really thought she could due to her anxiety. You can do this.

Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like rebel*ox's post
26-01-2016, 06:18 PM (This post was last modified: 26-01-2016 06:36 PM by Anjele.)
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Keep working toward feeling better FreeT. Little glimpses of feeling better are a good sign. Antidepressants aren't a magic pill that make you feel all sunshine and rainbows, they just help get you out of your funk so you can function.

Sadly, there is no happy pill...but there are pills that make you feel less crappy.

Continue giving the counselors and doctors a chance to find out what works best for you.

We are rooting for ya.

Love ya FT! Thumbsup

Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Anjele's post
26-01-2016, 06:26 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
The empty sort of boredom is because you have removed some of the negative feelings. In time, you should be filling that spot naturally.

You are doing great, I am so glad you decided to get help. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll walk out of this mess.

Heart

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Dom's post
26-01-2016, 11:57 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Hey FT, thanks for the update Smile It sounds really positive! I mean, I know it's not perhaps as great as you'd hoped just yet, but I think you've made some huge positive steps.

I'm glad your Mama's keeping tabs on you Wink It shows she does care. It sounds like her and her partner are not particularly understanding though - sorry man Undecided That's how some people are. They can't conceive that other people can think differently to them, so they don't have very good empathy skills.

I think you must be aware by now that you're in it for the long haul. You won't see overnight changes, just gradual ones, but it sounds like they're happening, which is fantastic news.

I'd like to encourage you to pick up something to stave off the boredom. Play computer games. Read books. Learn a musical instrument. I'd also like to suggest that you should try something social, and ja, of course I have to suggest to you to try a sport Wink

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like morondog's post
27-01-2016, 01:30 AM (This post was last modified: 27-01-2016 01:48 AM by Nurse.)
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Time for some hobbies to fill that boredom now that you're becoming more functional.

Some random examples:
-building your own tricopter from scratch
-Photography - look up Instagram - #exploring #adventuring #tresspassingforart #abandoned #urbex ...stuff like that.
-volunteer at an animal shelter
-robotics, raspberry pi, arduino, building/programming stuff
-swimming
-bowling
-drawing/painting
-sewing

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Nurse's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: