Getting help; an FT rambling.
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24-05-2016, 10:28 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Keep well man, my mental health is on the floor at the moment, my (sometimes inappropriate) sense of humour helps a lot so do my meds but in reality sleep is the only solace (too bad I'm an insomniac) so I have at least some idea of what you are feeling. Sometimes I'm tempted to think about ending it all because I never seem to get any lasting relief from my head but I just keep going sometimes one hour at a time, knowing there are others such as yourself eloquent in the English language who voice such feelings as low self esteem etc help me to know that while I'm on my own I am ultimately not a-lone. I'm sending a hug from a fellow sufferer who really does understand.
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26-05-2016, 01:37 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
I'm having a bit of an 'up' day. I don't feel too great, kind of meh, but it's still better.

My speaking to my psych was a little refreshing. I didn't say much along this threads line, but I did still talk with her about my mood problems; still feeling low. She says it's perfectly natural, especially given what happened before the last time I spoke to her which surely needs no detailing here.

She says when I feel so bad I can't really do anything, those are the times I need to give myself a small kick to activity; it doesn't having to be anything major, but when I'm running low on motivation, what is most important is that I get myself moving; even if it is just reading a book for ten minutes, or making my bed, I have to try to get myself occupied so I don't just dwell and sit in a cycle of feeling bad, not doing anything and feeling bad about not doing anything.

She was highly praising when I mentioned I had been going to all my labs and haven't had any panic attacks regarding them for a few weeks now. I haven't really needed to do my breathing exercises to keep calm.
She was especially pleased that I managed to go in an speak to a demonstrator to get some work cleared of my own will, since I had to instigate it, and go into a different lab session to speak to the demonstrator.
She was also pleased when I mentioned that I had taken up photography recently. Guess it's good to have a hobby.

That was my last session with her for a while. I need my doc to renew the referral before the state will allow any more tax-paid sessions, cant afford them on my own. So I'll speak to her in the morning on Monday. While I'm there I can look at how the new med dosage is going.

I can't say I really know. I've been feeling pretty terrible recently, but I think that is just stress causing a spike that overwhelmed the drug so to speak, needs more time I guess. It's hard for me to gage if the stuff is working. I'm still not used to actually analysing or paying heed to my own feelings. No good at describing them anyway.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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26-05-2016, 08:43 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(26-05-2016 01:37 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  She says when I feel so bad I can't really do anything, those are the times I need to give myself a small kick to activity; it doesn't having to be anything major, but when I'm running low on motivation, what is most important is that I get myself moving; even if it is just reading a book for ten minutes, or making my bed, I have to try to get myself occupied so I don't just dwell and sit in a cycle of feeling bad, not doing anything and feeling bad about not doing anything.

Guess it's good to have a hobby.

Yes, that. I went through a phase where bad thoughts started rushing through my head when I was in my 20s. I talked about it with a friend who was a psychologist.

He said that I needed to catch myself right when the bad thoughts started and immediately change my location and activity. Just tell myself: "there it goes again" and start moving.

It took me a while to be able to catch it at the start, but the advice worked for me. I think it was a matter of making the brain think about other things. When you are moving and acting, you need to pay attention to what you are doing and the bad thoughts fall by the wayside.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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31-05-2016, 04:45 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Had a major anxiety attack at uni thanks to a looming group presentation I had to do... which ended up cancelled because the class ran out of time before my group was called. Not that I would have known if they were called, given that I left the room after the first presentation and spent the first around 40 minutes outside on my knees at a hillside erosion bankthing trying to remember what breathing was, how not to vomit, and how to stop shaking.

One of my finer hours, it was not.

I did eventually manage to get myself back up and calm enough to go back into the classroom, but only made it through one more presentation before I had to get out into the air again. I wasn't able to get myself to go back into the lecture theatre.I just moved back into the building and sat on a chair outside the theatre trying to compose myself for the rest of the now just under an hour left period.

At some point a group member I had not seen before came out of the class and started trying to chat with me. Apparently she came from the US to study three months back, and I sound like I've got a bit of an american accent...
After a while trying to 'chat me down' I guess, she asked what I wanted to do about the presentation. 'If it's all right with the group, it would be best if I sit out and talk to the professor after to explain. Not useful for talking right now.' She left under the auspices of talking to the group. She came back a few minutes later, and attempted to convince me that I was needed for the presentation; group didn't want me to miss out on it after my work, and such things. I replied simple that I would try to do what the group required of me. She did not seem very receptive to my response.

Not soon after, the class was dismissed. after her asking me what I wanted to do about the presentation one more time, I decided to just leave everything until next Tuesday and cross that bridge when I came to it. And then I got out of uni as fast as I could, still fighting off the now waning edge of the attack. The rest of the day was far easier; I was able to deliver a document my doc gave me to the psych practise granting me 4 extra sessions there and got an appointment for the 16th.

I hate anxiety attacks. They are unreservedly the worst. My more severe depressive spikes might make me actively consider giving a speeding train an ambush hug, might make me feel completely and totally lost, worthless, and trapped in a world of endless dull black.
My now increasingly rare moments of frustration and rage might make me worry that I might harm something.

But at least they don't take away my control of my body. When anxiety hits me hard enough to be worth of note like this, it messes with my ability to stand properly, to breath, think, or act, it seeps my senses in mindless undirected panic. The worst.

The feeling from so many hours ago now still bother me. Especially since I've been months without a major attack. Little demoralising.

I had best get to sleep. Super tired after today's debacle.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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31-05-2016, 08:07 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
When I first got sober, I had anxiety attacks. They weren't as severe as what you describe, but it was all the same symptoms.
I benefited from peer group counseling moderated by an addictions counselor. Knowing that others experienced these, hearing that no one died from them, were a great help in facing my own. The primary benefit was being able to get past the fear involved when having an anxiety attack and being able to view the symptoms more objectively or dispassionately allowing me to more easily use the calming techniques (like breathing) that were taught.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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31-05-2016, 10:49 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
You might want to look into biofeedback. It really helped my son learn to calm himself.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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31-05-2016, 11:17 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
Panic attacks are almost always accompanied by breathing issues.

The way to deal with your breathing is to breathe OUT all the way. Breathing in will come naturally. This is a bit counter intuitive, but it works faster than anything else.

What happens is that not being able to breathe easily makes the anxiety worse - breathing issues cause anxiety attacks all on their own. So this aggravates the situation.

Next time, just breathe out until there is absolutely nothing to breathe out anymore, squeeze it out as hard as you can. Concentrate on that. Then allow yourself to breathe in and breathe everything out again. You will gain control of your breathing, which helps you to get control of the attack. You can't breathe deeply if your lungs are already full. That in and of itself causes panic. But that part you can control.

Also remember that no one ever died of a panic attack, and that in a short while it will be all gone. After you have learned how to breathe out when it happens, you can decide not to leave. Nothing will happen, no suffocating, no heart attack, nothing. It's just a short phase your body goes through.

The more you realize that, the milder your attacks will be. A big part of it is fear of the attack itself, not the environment.

Remember to breathe out all the way and eventually you will get an attack and tell yourself: "I got that".

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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31-05-2016, 11:58 AM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
I used to have them too. It helped me when I read about the biology behind panic attacks, so I was able to recognize what was happening and then no longer feel afraid of it. When I learned what was happening my body, I realized the adrenaline burst was only able to last a limited amount of time, I learned how to count out the seconds it took for me to feel better- about four seconds before I felt the adrenaline rush slow down and my body start to feel less wired. I also wore a rubber band on my wrist and snapped it as I counted down the seconds, just enough so the sting distracted me from the panic. It helped me, though people respond differently to panic attacks and my panic was adrenaline based. I do not have them any longer, because I recognize the symptoms and I am no longer frightened about them. Hope that this can help you , even a little.

The biology of mind bridges the sciences - concerned with the natural world - and the humanities - concerned with the meaning of human experience. Eric Kandel
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31-05-2016, 12:41 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
(31-05-2016 04:45 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  Had a major anxiety attack at uni thanks to a looming group presentation I had to do... which ended up cancelled because the class ran out of time before my group was called. Not that I would have known if they were called, given that I left the room after the first presentation and spent the first around 40 minutes outside on my knees at a hillside erosion bankthing trying to remember what breathing was, how not to vomit, and how to stop shaking.

One of my finer hours, it was not.

I did eventually manage to get myself back up and calm enough to go back into the classroom, but only made it through one more presentation before I had to get out into the air again. I wasn't able to get myself to go back into the lecture theatre.I just moved back into the building and sat on a chair outside the theatre trying to compose myself for the rest of the now just under an hour left period.

At some point a group member I had not seen before came out of the class and started trying to chat with me. Apparently she came from the US to study three months back, and I sound like I've got a bit of an american accent...
After a while trying to 'chat me down' I guess, she asked what I wanted to do about the presentation. 'If it's all right with the group, it would be best if I sit out and talk to the professor after to explain. Not useful for talking right now.' She left under the auspices of talking to the group. She came back a few minutes later, and attempted to convince me that I was needed for the presentation; group didn't want me to miss out on it after my work, and such things. I replied simple that I would try to do what the group required of me. She did not seem very receptive to my response.

Not soon after, the class was dismissed. after her asking me what I wanted to do about the presentation one more time, I decided to just leave everything until next Tuesday and cross that bridge when I came to it. And then I got out of uni as fast as I could, still fighting off the now waning edge of the attack. The rest of the day was far easier; I was able to deliver a document my doc gave me to the psych practise granting me 4 extra sessions there and got an appointment for the 16th.

I hate anxiety attacks. They are unreservedly the worst. My more severe depressive spikes might make me actively consider giving a speeding train an ambush hug, might make me feel completely and totally lost, worthless, and trapped in a world of endless dull black.
My now increasingly rare moments of frustration and rage might make me worry that I might harm something.

But at least they don't take away my control of my body. When anxiety hits me hard enough to be worth of note like this, it messes with my ability to stand properly, to breath, think, or act, it seeps my senses in mindless undirected panic. The worst.

The feeling from so many hours ago now still bother me. Especially since I've been months without a major attack. Little demoralising.

I had best get to sleep. Super tired after today's debacle.

Oh man. I thought the plan was to fake anxiety to get out of doing the presentation. You did it wrong!

I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday, message me when you wake up and I will cheer you up Hug Heart

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Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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15-06-2016, 06:13 PM
RE: Getting help; an FT rambling.
I have an appointment with the psych again today, and I'm feeling really anxious about it.

I really don't want to admit to that panic attack. I don't want to think about it. But in the interest of keeping things on track, I know I should talk to her about it.

I read the referral letter my doc wrote up for me to get me 4 extra sessions with the psych (bloody government makes getting mental health unnecessarily hoopy). under my conditions being treated, she had wrote depression and ASD, which is good. I've been trying to get myself to talk to her about what she knew of getting my ASD diagnosis confirmed but I haven't been able to make myself talk about it...
I want to get that done this appointment, but the thought of broaching the subject is adding to my anxiety...

Doesn't help that my nerves stopped me from getting a good night sleep last night...

Well, think me luck today, guys. Got a few hours before the appointment to calm myself. Or go insane again. Whichever happens.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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