Getting older and fearful
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01-07-2016, 10:41 AM
Getting older and fearful
I have always said that religion is based on the idea of people being afreaid that they are going to die. 15 years ago when my father died my sister asked me to rethink religion in light of his dyimng. I assured her that dad was more afraid of dying than I was. Now I am 70 years old and 11 years ago I had triple bypass surgery at which tome I was assured that with changing my diet and taking my medicines properly i had a 50-50 chance of living another 5 years. That was 11 years ago. I am still here, but for from my family which is all back in Tennessee and i am in the Dominican Republic.
Some nights as I am going to sleep i ask myself if maybe this is it. Am I gonna wake up manana? I am not shuddering with fear as our dad was who seemed to be shaking with some unforgiven sin type fear, but only of the long dark ahead and never seeing my grandkids again and all those things. No not fearful enuff to start going to church and confession, but just nervous knowing that the end cannot be too far off. I'll have a pain in the left side of my chest and say "Oops, I'm outta here." And then later a similar pain on the side where the heart isn't and say "Feels good!" Any other oldsters around with similar thoughts?
Born Again Pagan
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01-07-2016, 10:45 AM
RE: Getting older and fearful
Death is no different that the existence you had before you were born -- that wasn't frightening at the time, now was it???


Of course not -- you didn't exist.

Like George Carlin said --- "Nobody minds BEING dead, it's the GETTING dead part that sucks....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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01-07-2016, 10:59 AM
RE: Getting older and fearful
(01-07-2016 10:41 AM)Born Again Pagan Wrote:  I have always said that religion is based on the idea of people being afreaid that they are going to die. 15 years ago when my father died my sister asked me to rethink religion in light of his dyimng. I assured her that dad was more afraid of dying than I was. Now I am 70 years old and 11 years ago I had triple bypass surgery at which tome I was assured that with changing my diet and taking my medicines properly i had a 50-50 chance of living another 5 years. That was 11 years ago. I am still here, but for from my family which is all back in Tennessee and i am in the Dominican Republic.
Some nights as I am going to sleep i ask myself if maybe this is it. Am I gonna wake up manana? I am not shuddering with fear as our dad was who seemed to be shaking with some unforgiven sin type fear, but only of the long dark ahead and never seeing my grandkids again and all those things. No not fearful enuff to start going to church and confession, but just nervous knowing that the end cannot be too far off. I'll have a pain in the left side of my chest and say "Oops, I'm outta here." And then later a similar pain on the side where the heart isn't and say "Feels good!" Any other oldsters around with similar thoughts?
Born Again Pagan

I have been thinking about my own death since my husband passed away 4 years ago. (I can't believe it's been that long). I worry about what will happen to my pets and keep changing my will to accommodate changes in the pet situation.

I don't fear death, other than worrying about my pets. I purposefully enjoy every day and spoil myself as best I can. I am always looking forward to tomorrow and doing this, that or the other thing, but I don't make plans for long term anymore.

There are always things where I want to see how they turn out. A plant I planted, this year's pear crop, the election, how good a service dog my Great Dane will be and so on.

I do fear the kind of disability that comes with dragging around an old body that is tired. I'm not old and tired, but increasingly my body is getting so, if that makes any sense.

I do fear a slow and painful death and will pre-empt such a thing if at all possible. But death itself isn't scary - like they say, when you are here, death is not, and when death is here, you are not.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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02-07-2016, 02:00 AM
RE: Getting older and fearful
Hi Pagan and everyone,

Yes, I'm in the same boat. 68 yrs old male and the docs are threatening me with all kinds of meds and risky outcomes. Fear tends to come in the night.

On the plus side I will be riding my bike today (Yamaha r1) and that could be a quick end. Last year I had a bad crash on a ZX10r and was in hospital. There is a good thing with concussion. It is the memory loss; everything is gone from the accident, totally wiped. If death is like that, what could there be to fear? There is nothing.

As others have said, it is the decaying health and infirmity that looks bad. But, as a regular visitor to the hospital I meet lots of very old folks in wheelchairs and they are still chatting away happily, not every one but most. That is uplifting to see.

IMHO the real enemy is depression, which can come at any age.

D.
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04-07-2016, 11:49 AM (This post was last modified: 04-07-2016 01:58 PM by edbaldwin.)
RE: Getting older and fearful
I'm not that old, but I do feel like I'm at least 2/3s done with life.
As far as I know no male on my dads side has ever seen 70. I have 2 dead younger brother carrying on that misfortune. I have one uncle still alive. As far as I know he's lived the longest and he's 63. My dad died at 58 but had his first heart attack at 45. I'm 43.
I was thinking of death and that is why I started looking at posts on TTA today.
Being dead doesn't bother me in the least. It makes no difference to me how my arraignments are handled. I've told my wife that I don't want a church service or people praying or saying things like I'm sure most of us have heard at some point. "I'm sure the good lord wouldn't turn him away. He was a great guy. I know he's in heaven." And I'm okay with it if my wife is lying to me about doing it my way. Makes me feel better now. If handling things her way brings her comfort I'm good with that. I won't know either way.
But I am fearful. Fearful of the thought of how I'm going to die. Fearful of the thought of if very many people will even care when I die cross my mind a lot. I know it won't matter to me when I'm dead how many people care, but it matters now. Not in a vein sort of way. But in the way that I feel I owe a contribution to loved ones. Feeling now that not many people would care means I'm not doing my part at positively affecting them. I reflect back to people who have affected me, and wonder if I've made enough of an impression to live on in the minds of others in a way that will improve their lives.
Only one of my 4 sons talk to me much. It bothers me to think the other 3 will only be upset because their day was interrupted by my funeral. Now I'm not trying to invite guests to my pity party
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04-07-2016, 12:14 PM
RE: Getting older and fearful
I fret more about a wasted life than a death, though I pre-miss my grandsons when I do think about it. Missing them growing up to be men with families of their own hurts my heart. OTOH, my family history is long lived so I hope I'm not going any time soon. My male parental unit is 93 and still lives at home. My female parental unit passed 2yrs ago at 88 and though health-wise and fitness-wise I'm more like her, I am 59 now so if I get 30 more years, I'm ok with that.

I used to really be bothered by it and had way too many sleepless nights because of the fear. I really believe my personal growth with atheism helped me with that. By that I mean I was always atheist, never a believer BUT I never gave it a lot of thought or contemplation until the last 10 years. Maybe it's coincidental but I also found my fear of nothingness became less. I will be as I was before and that is nil. Nil is a lot better than pain no matter how you look at it.

Carl Sagan also helped. Thinking of myself as stardust returning to stardust comforts me. I like the idea of being a molecular part of the universe forever. Smile

Hug

[Image: dnw9krH.jpg?4]
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04-07-2016, 01:43 PM
RE: Getting older and fearful
I'm not scared of dying,
And I don't really care,
If it's peace you find in dying
Well then let the time be near.

(Blood, Sweat and Tears)

I'm not looking for that kind of peace, yet. Got lots more fret about and fun to live for. One thing I need to do is write my own funeral, just so people, if they actually care, understand. I'm planning on it so that people know my wishes and perhaps they will actually follow what I asked. I won't know.
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04-07-2016, 04:03 PM
RE: Getting older and fearful



[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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04-07-2016, 04:14 PM
RE: Getting older and fearful
This year's been a little rough. With each new announcement that an actor or musician has died I do the math in my head...how much older were they? YIKES!

I am 59 now and with family history I figure another ten to twelve years would be about it for me. I guess I will be working till I die. I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it but it does come to mind more often. I just hope when it does happen I am either asleep or it's quick and unexpected. No lingering illness please.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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04-07-2016, 04:18 PM
RE: Getting older and fearful
I actually feel better about dying because I don't leave grieving parents, significant others or children behind. Grief sucks, it sucks a lot more than dying.

The way I see it is that everyone affects everyone else they encounter in life one way or another. It's like you are handing out little bits and pieces of yourself when you interact with others. They will carry these bits and pieces with them, and redistribute some of them. We all contribute to this big pool of experiences that forms humanity. All of us shape it just a little bit more.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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