Girl I asked out said "maybe" (meant no), what now?
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29-09-2014, 10:44 AM
RE: Girl I asked out said "maybe" (meant no), what now?
From having a few friends who use the term "maybe," I have deciphered what it means:

* if something better comes along, it's a no
* if not, it's a yes

Undecided

"Maybe" sounds better, no?

I don't say maybe, I say yes or no. I don't want to mislead a guy or use him. Maybe is a sign of a user. (Just my personal observation)

Just my take. :-)

Be true to yourself. Heart
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29-09-2014, 10:58 AM
RE: Girl I asked out said "maybe" (meant no), what now?
I think you should go back to her and tell her never mind.
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29-09-2014, 11:42 AM (This post was last modified: 29-09-2014 11:46 AM by kim.)
RE: Girl I asked out said "maybe" (meant no), what now?
(28-09-2014 07:52 PM)UndercoverAtheist Wrote:  ---
So, I am still missing a reason, and I want advice on how to go about acquiring such information (without being weird or seeming mad at her for not wanting to go with me). And, because I'm missing a reason, I am unsure as to whether or not her response was "no" because she can't go, or if she just doesn't like me. Along with this, I still wish to talk to her, but I'm afraid that she will only see this action as an attempt to get with her, when I genuinely enjoy talking to her (which is a rare thing for me).

You don't really need "a reason". Your invitation was not clearly defined and neither was her response. There was really no commitment from you nor her; no harm, no foul.

It's also possible that she hasn't made up her mind about anything; maybe she's a play-it-by-ear kind of gal... the interesting ones often are. Wink

Next time you ask someone out, be direct and you will receive a direct response. From a direct response, one must be prepared whichever way it goes. If she says, "No, I'm going with someone else." - then, your cordial, "Cool, maybe I'll see you there." may help build familiarity and intrigue. If she says, "No, I hate your guts." You still have the option of taking the high road, telling her you genuinely enjoy talking with her. This too, may help build familiarity... and certainly intrigue.

If she says, "Yes." ... well then... you've really got some work to do. Flowers, manners, not-too-much-cologne - the spooky shit (meeting parents). Wink

(28-09-2014 07:52 PM)UndercoverAtheist Wrote:  I couldn't really care less whether or not she wishes to be in a relationship with me, I just don't want things to be weird between her, myself, and her friends.
---

Just let her know you are alive and you simply find her to be a wonderful person (fascinating, even)... if you genuinely enjoy talking to her, tell her.
Familiarity can help establish a sense of security and reliability... a sense of loyalty. This can not only help you become more comfortable and confident, it can smooth out awkwardness between loyal friends (which you may want to someday become) and casual acquaintances.

Be honest and keep your shit light; analyzing too much can cause unwarranted tension for you and others. It does no one good to stress about what is essentially unknown. When with friends, try testing the waters once in a while and play-it-by-ear ... it takes some thinking on your feet but spontaneity can be quite satisfying. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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29-09-2014, 02:19 PM
RE: Girl I asked out said "maybe" (meant no), what now?
When I was a teenager I was a doormat! Later in life when I finally learned that by saying "no", the people who gave a crap about me were still going to be around things got much better. Getting a "no" hurts for a little while, but those "maybe" answers eat at you because you have to try to figure out what the real answer is.

When you're going to ask someone out, you should have a little confidence in yourself. But like someone else said, keep it between you and her when you ask her out.

If you're really interested in this girl, don't quit trying yet. So you weren't successful this time, try again but make sure your intentions are clear.

RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. - Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
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29-09-2014, 07:12 PM
RE: Girl I asked out said "maybe" (meant no), what now?
The secret with girls is that they are actually not that hard to figure out. Guys, especially young guys like yourself, make it harder on yourself than it has to be (probably to save our egos). If she is into you it will be pretty obvious to everyone. If you have any reason to doubt then she probably isn't.

I think you approached this pretty well. You made it really easy and casual for her to say yes, and you also made it really casual and easy for her to say no. Seems like you got a no. I would look elsewhere. If she wants your attention now it's on her to seek you out.
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29-09-2014, 09:44 PM
RE: Girl I asked out said "maybe" (meant no), what now?
what now ?

Turn gay. Thumbsup

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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29-09-2014, 09:46 PM
RE: Girl I asked out said "maybe" (meant no), what now?
(29-09-2014 09:44 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  what now ?

Turn gay. Thumbsup

Yes
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29-09-2014, 11:02 PM
RE: Girl I asked out said "maybe" (meant no), what now?
(28-09-2014 10:00 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Maybe is always no. If you aren't straight forward with a girl that is not completely digging you, you will get a maybe... which means no. If you are direct, you may or may not get a yes. This ship has sailed. Acting like either it didn't happen or you don't care makes you look more attractive in that you appear to have self confidence. Showing that you're wounded can make things awkward. Don't let girls have an idea you're over analyzing. I over analyze everything, I just don't let others know it. This was great practice. Eventually you will get to a point where "when" you get turned down, you can think " their loss, I'm awesome" and not really give a damn. This is not the last time you will be turned down and have no idea why. Hell, the girl likely doesn't know why - it just boils down to that she's just not that into you. Girls are difficult like that. As you get more experience and improve your technique, so do most women with sending the right messages. Just as you're figuring out relationships and how to flirt, so are they. It gets better.

Oh, and she knows. There is no such thing as undercover with this kind of thing. Teenage girls LIVE for this. Sorry she said no. Weeping

This is why girls are dumb. And icky.

Tongue

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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