Girls night out - social anxiety hell
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06-03-2017, 02:41 PM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
Keep in mind that you can always excuse yourself. If you find that you aren’t having a good time say, “This was lovely but I’m not feeling too well, see you at footie practice”.

Done. You showed up, were polite and left on your own terms.

This is more than I usually do in uncomfortable situations (I, too, am an introvert), where I normally just “ghost” out when no one is looking.

Go, you’ll be fine. What’s the worst that can happen? A Satanic blood ritual this isn’t. Angel

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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06-03-2017, 04:27 PM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
I can't really offer advice because I suffer severe social anxiety, I can barely do normal people things without feeling it, but I do hope you have a good time and it goes very well Smile

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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12-03-2017, 12:01 AM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
Let's see

1. You might not feel fine, social anxiety can be fucking hellish to endure, but based on what I've seen here. You're in good company. Your social anxiety isn't a valid reason to be mean or cruel to you. This may just be my opinion but I think it's something important to say.

2. I really don't know how to help, I struggle with being rather extroverted yet often am plagued with social anxiety, even when things appear to be going well.

Maybe make sure someone you trust is with you, that's usually what I do. I make a friend that I can trust, then don't go out unless they are around. I may do this with several people, but I often turn down offers to go out from co workers, fellow students ect unless someone I trust is there. It seems to help a bit.

People can be very pushy about how you spend your time. It's ok to say no. Wink

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
Big Grin
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15-03-2017, 03:24 PM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
I don't know if I have social anxiety, but I relate to a lot of what you're saying. I also have trouble feeling 'adequate' in groups of people I don't know well. If they are trusted friends, I have no problem letting loose and cracking jokes, but if I'm thrown into a social situation with people I don't know, my mind drifts and I sit there quietly while others point out how my mouth is not moving. I do a lot better in in one-on-one or even one-on-two situations.

As others have said, my recommendation is to give it more than one try. If they are the right group for you, you'll eventually begin to loosen up little by little, but the most important thing is to find opportunities for you to get to know them one on one. It is also useful to remind yourself that they have their own insecurities too, even if they don't show it. We all have our own ways to cover up our insecutirities. Just because they seem outgoing doesn't mean they don't have some of the fears you have.

Sometimes outgoing people have bad first impressions of introverts because they interpret our silence as us not liking them. Several times I've been called out by an extrovert for being too quiet. That, in turn, makes me feel even more uncomfortable and inadequate in that group. One good way to avoid this is just to ask questions about what they're saying so that they think you're interested, even if you're not.
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15-03-2017, 03:42 PM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
:O Can you take me? I haven't been on a girl's night. Sad
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15-03-2017, 03:49 PM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
(15-03-2017 03:42 PM)Larai19 Wrote:  :O Can you take me? I haven't been on a girl's night. Sad

Sure, I'm just one of the girls after all Big Grin

(lol I know you didn't mean me I'm being silly)

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
Big Grin
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15-03-2017, 03:55 PM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
(15-03-2017 03:49 PM)JesseB Wrote:  
(15-03-2017 03:42 PM)Larai19 Wrote:  :O Can you take me? I haven't been on a girl's night. Sad

Sure, I'm just one of the girls after all Big Grin

(lol I know you didn't mean me I'm being silly)

Laughat It's okay. I imagine girl's nights like slumber parties anyways. We can throw a mud mask on your face and we probably wouldn't know the difference.
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15-03-2017, 03:56 PM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
(15-03-2017 03:55 PM)Larai19 Wrote:  
(15-03-2017 03:49 PM)JesseB Wrote:  Sure, I'm just one of the girls after all Big Grin

(lol I know you didn't mean me I'm being silly)

Laughat It's okay. I imagine girl's nights like slumber parties anyways. We can throw a mud mask on your face and we probably wouldn't know the difference.

Sounds fun. I'm in, hehe.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
Big Grin
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15-03-2017, 03:58 PM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
(15-03-2017 03:56 PM)JesseB Wrote:  
(15-03-2017 03:55 PM)Larai19 Wrote:  Laughat It's okay. I imagine girl's nights like slumber parties anyways. We can throw a mud mask on your face and we probably wouldn't know the difference.

Sounds fun. I'm in, hehe.

Now we just need to organize it with the other members of forum...
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15-03-2017, 04:10 PM
RE: Girls night out - social anxiety hell
So, Ukatheist ... how did it all go on Ladies' Night? Was it better than you thought it might be or was it a total drag? Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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