Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
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19-03-2012, 06:54 PM (This post was last modified: 19-03-2012 07:02 PM by bemore.)
Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
Was gonna write this in the rant corner but thought I would expand it into a thread.

I live in a house share and my landlady lives here also with her girlfriend. My landlady used to eat all sorts of food.... she was allways at the skillet cooking steak and sausages and meat.

Then my landladys girlfriend moved in and she is vegan.... so my LL also became vegan as well.

Things were going all good until the first couple of times I used my slow cooker and then my LL asked me if I could use it in my room as the smell was making her GF gag..... I said I would do this but I explained that the only times I had used it with her in the house up until that point was for making soup..... so her gagging was purely psychological and in her head.

Today I have cooked some minted lamb chops in the oven....ate..... and then went out. When I came back in my LL was cleaning the oven. So I asked her if she would want me to clean the oven everytime I used it to cook meat as I didnt mind. She then has asked me if she can buy a george foreman grill and for me to not use the oven and to keep it vegetarian. Obv I was a bit surprised at this and initally said yes that wasnt a problem but I will continue to use the oven as normal until she buys such appliance.

So im thinking WTF..... Ive not had chance to speak to her GF but when I do im gonna say that when she goes into a resturant as they often do and order a vegetarian dish then if its a hot meal then it will be cooked in the same cooker as meat dishes..... so whats the difference.

I just think its all bullshit....... and tbh I think my LL is pretty fucking lame for becoming a vegan.

If I gave them both a truth pill and asked them why they were both vegan I imagine her GF would say something like "Its because I dont like the thought of eating animals"

However if I asked my LL why she was vegan the truth would be "because my GF is"

Which again I think is pretty fucking lame...... yes its her choice and everything but surely relationships should allways be 50/50 and if there not then you are living a lie by giving up things just for somebody elses benefit.
Your meant to allways be yourself....... so if you dont stay true to yourself then what sort of life is that????

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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19-03-2012, 07:04 PM
RE: Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
Dude... really? I would not be very nice. Straight up. I'd be cooking meat at all hours, just basking in the smell. That's just.... well.... really?

Anyways, I've given up a lot for the ones I love, it's just how it goes. It starts off being a huge inconvenience but you do it anyways because you tell yourself it's for the nookie. Then you don't notice it so much, and you don't really mind it after all... then you have brief flashbacks as to who you once were and compare it with who you have become and you either panic and commit everything to a desperate attempt to reclaim the manly man you once were, or you realize you don't give a shit because it was all worth it and you were kind of a dick anyways, maybe you take up an instrument again, or get a cool mustache.

If you're lucky you have a kid or two and you realize that your whole life you were missing something and didn't even know it.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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19-03-2012, 07:13 PM
RE: Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
Ha ha ha lucradis..... its allways for the nookie Big Grin

I get what your saying and where your coming from dude..... I reckon though that ill probably have to move out if it isnt a workable situation. I understand about making sacrifices but its also like my brother..... his missus controls there relationship and sometimes I just want ask her for my brothers balls back as she is taking a lot from him and giving him nothing in return.

I dont see what sacrifices my LL's girfriend has made for her.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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19-03-2012, 07:24 PM
RE: Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
haha, laughing about myself here.

I was going to write how it isn't a big deal to give something up when you love someone.

Thinking of my life as example, I came up with - nothing!

My husband and I didn't give up a darn thing. He had his man cave, I have my office and we each went about doing whatever we wanted to do in our spaces.

I travelled all over the place to conventions, he said I could go wherever whenever as long as he wasn't expected to come along. So, I flew all over the place, he stayed home.

He hated to cook, I love it.

I hated to go grocery shopping, he loved it.

It was great, it also made for unlimited conversation topics. We never once ran out of things to talk about.

The only time I really gave up everything for him is when he got sick and I spent all my time on him as care giver. Which was hard, very hard even, but I would do it again in a heart beat. I wish he was here so I could do it again.

Because there comes a time in life when you absolutely do not mind putting yourself on the back burner and devoting everything you got to another person.

That's love.

However, your room mates sound like they are "in love" which to me has a different meaning. When you are newly in love you put your best foot forward and accomodate a lot of things that in reality you will never be able to support indefinitely. Which in and of itself causes issues in the relationship - soon enough friction arises because neither person has been themselves in the initial stages of the relationship. Just look at the divorce rate...

Re. vegans and meat - I had a good friend who was a vegan and she had the same reaction to just the scent of meat.

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19-03-2012, 07:27 PM (This post was last modified: 19-03-2012 07:38 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
Keep your room permeated with the stench of weed and when they ask you what that meat smell is tell them that StarkRaving is experimenting with new reefer strains. In addition to skunk weed, he's working on venison weed, moose weed, beef weed, pork weed, lamb weed, chicken weed, fish weed, etc.

(19-03-2012 07:24 PM)Dom Wrote:  Re. vegans and meat - I had a good friend who was a vegan and she had the same reaction to just the scent of meat.

I can see that happening over a long enough period of time and lack of exposure. ... Kinda how I feel about sugar after avoiding it for a few years now. That sweet drink or pastry or donut or dessert makes me nauseous just looking at it now, let alone smelling it.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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19-03-2012, 08:08 PM
RE: Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
Yes, almost everyone gives up stuff for sex! But that isn't your problem here as you're not getting any from them (or are you? Big Grin )

It depends how much it pisses you off, I suppose. If it seems to be a permanent rule and it doesn't look like changing, I would probably look at moving out - I can't stand going without my meat hehe. Three's a crowd anyway Dodgy

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19-03-2012, 08:21 PM
RE: Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
I hate those situations, it happened to me once, I smoke, and a guy a I was dating said to me that if I continued smoking we couldn't date anymore, it was fun to see his face when I lighted a cigarette after he said those words, so offended and full of shit Big Grin

I can't believe some people are so self-righteous they need to control other people's habits, I never could be with someone knowing I made hi change just because I didn't like something, that's just wrong imho.

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19-03-2012, 09:05 PM (This post was last modified: 19-03-2012 09:10 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
(19-03-2012 08:08 PM)aurora2020 Wrote:  Yes, almost everyone gives up stuff for sex!

But we become more selective with what's left after we've given up most of our empire of dirt. Wink

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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20-03-2012, 08:43 AM
RE: Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
Just get the largest pig you can find and have a massive hog-roast by the door.

Even better, send an invite to a homeless shelter. That way you can claim it's a charity thing and these no way the GF can complain about it.

Even better, invite me. I LOVE hog roast!

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Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
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Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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20-03-2012, 12:19 PM
RE: Giving up things you enjoy for somebody else.
Screw that! I don't eat meat but I still pick it up for my husband on occassion, and I clean those dishes too. You should not have to not use the kitchen because of their choices. Your choice IS to eat meat, they are infringing on YOUR choice as much as you are on their choice. Good grief.

For love, some sacrifices are made though. How far? That's up to each person.
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