God is Real: Worshippable?
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22-10-2012, 11:25 AM (This post was last modified: 22-10-2012 02:06 PM by Aseptic Skeptic.)
RE: God is Real: Worshippable?
The Mormon god is the same one of the bible. It's just that Joseph Smith had some "revelations" (if that word can be used to mean "stuff he made up while his face was in a hat, pretending to use a magic rock to translate Egyptian hieroglyphics inscribed on golden tablets that nobody ever saw but him") that added stuff to the bible. Stuff like:

God has many wives. Our souls are the children of God breeding with his wives, making "Heavenly Father" a literal term as well as a spiritual one.
Heaven has 3 levels, the Celestial, Terrestrial, and Telestial Kingdoms. Only good Mormons get the Celestial Kingdom where they can be gods. The rest of us get the other two (which one is a matter of how we live our mortal lives) but all 3 are still heaven, so nobody goes to hell unless they are so terribly irredeemably evil that there is no other option.
A Mormon man will become a god in heaven and God will give him his own universe to rule as God and women (plural) will be his wives to breed souls for his universe. Note: women don't get to be gods and can't even go to the Celestial Kingdom without being called there by their husband - Joseph Smith used this "rule" to marry dozens of women, telling them that they had to be married to get to heaven so he would marry them for the sake of their eternal soul.

Those are some big points. There is little goofy stuff like magic underwear keeping us safe from harm and a planet Kolob hiding in our solar system and 40ish people coming from Egypt to the Americas in 600 B.C. and founding great civilizations that had huge cities, steel industries, and massive edifices including a temple identical to the Temple of Soloman as described in the bible (and these civilizations fought wars, one battle resulted in a million deaths somewhere around New York/Pennsylvania, only something like 800 years after those 40 people founded the civilizations). Goofy stuff. Don't even ask why we can't find this invisible planet or even see gravitational effects, or why we can't find stone and marble buildings/ruins from those days even though we can find tons of older ruins in the middle east and elsewhere, or why we can't find even one steel (or other metal) dagger, sword, or arrowhead, or any bones, from a battle that killed over a million soldiers when we know the specific location of this battle, yet we can find evidence of older, smaller battles all over the middle east and elsewhere.

Don't ask where those golden plates went (the angel Moroni conveniently "took them back to heaven") or why nobody else saw them. Don't ask why god chose Joseph Smith, a man who was arrested and convicted of fraud (he used a magical stone in his hat to pretend to divine the locations to dig wells, took the money, and left before people dug dry holes - it's in the New York public records), to be the only guy who could use a magical rock in his hat to translate special ancient golden plates that nobody else was allowed to see. Don't ask about when, years later, people actually learned how to translate Egyptian hieroglyphics (thanks to the Rosetta Stone, et. al.), real Egyptologists translated real Egyptian parchment that Joseph Smith had "translated" separately from the magical tablets, parchment that supposedly added more divine Mormon "revelations", but really had nothing to do with Mormon stuff at all. Don't ask why the magical underwear is covered in Masonic symbols or if that's any relation to the fact that Joseph Smith tried several times, unsuccessfully, to join the Masons but was always turned away, and don't ask if his Masonic handshakes, secret codes, passwords, secret names, or symbolism was his way of creating his own "Masonic" organization, and don't ask if "Mormon" was just a derivative of "Mason"

Well, at least their flavor of God is a nice guy who loves us and rewards us with something better than halos and harps for eternity and who doesn't punish us for not being born to the right religion.

That's a plus.

"Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly." - Robert A. Heinlein
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22-10-2012, 02:15 PM
RE: God is Real: Worshippable?
Lemme speak with the voice of experience, here. God shows up, you lose. Big Grin

I mean you're prolly already lost at that point, anyway. As for manifestation around preconceived notions, there's more meat to the alien invasion simulation. The evidence for god is conclusive in one instance - that it is always an internal struggle. Like when the neighbor called the cops on himself after smoking too much meth. Undecided

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22-10-2012, 04:28 PM
God is Real: Worshippable?
(22-10-2012 02:15 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Lemme speak with the voice of experience, here. God shows up, you lose. Big Grin

I mean you're prolly already lost at that point, anyway. As for manifestation around preconceived notions, there's more meat to the alien invasion simulation. The evidence for god is conclusive in one instance - that it is always an internal struggle. Like when the neighbor called the cops on himself after smoking too much meth. Undecided

I think what Resident Evil was really trying to ask, is if Gwynnies was to show up, would she be worshipable. Tongue

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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22-10-2012, 11:31 PM
RE: God is Real: Worshippable?
I want a religion with temple harlots etc. Why the fuck don't any of the world's major religions have institutionalized prostitution a la ... who's that bloody author again... HP Lovecraft... you know, like in Conan the Barbarian and all those other adventure stories we all grew up fantasizing about. All the world's religions put these major *restrictions* on fucking. Why no free love? Any God who says that's OK, and doesn't attach any weirdness like only doing it after blood sacrifice of all one's enemies, I'm happy to sign up with them. Too bad such religions don't seem to make it in the real world Sad Also too bad that I still couldn't buy the metaphysics. But if the incentive was there I could fake it Tongue
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22-10-2012, 11:56 PM
God is Real: Worshippable?
(22-10-2012 11:31 PM)morondog Wrote:  I want a religion with temple harlots etc. Why the fuck don't any of the world's major religions have institutionalized prostitution a la ... who's that bloody author again... HP Lovecraft... you know, like in Conan the Barbarian and all those other adventure stories we all grew up fantasizing about. All the world's religions put these major *restrictions* on fucking. Why no free love? Any God who says that's OK, and doesn't attach any weirdness like only doing it after blood sacrifice of all one's enemies, I'm happy to sign up with them. Too bad such religions don't seem to make it in the real world Sad Also too bad that I still couldn't buy the metaphysics. But if the incentive was there I could fake it Tongue

Fuck yeah! Temple whore and wine and sacrifices of fasty

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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23-10-2012, 09:03 AM
RE: God is Real: Worshippable?
(22-10-2012 11:56 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Fuck yeah! Temple whore and wine and sacrifices of fasty

You'd make an awesome high priest Smile
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23-10-2012, 01:04 PM
RE: God is Real: Worshippable?
(23-10-2012 09:03 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(22-10-2012 11:56 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Fuck yeah! Temple whore and wine and sacrifices of fasty

You'd make an awesome high priest Smile

Apparently not, because I have no idea what I was trying to say when I typed "sacrifices of fasty" Blush

Then again, that might be the qualification I need. Tongue

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