God is a terrible father
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21-06-2015, 10:40 AM (This post was last modified: 21-06-2015 01:52 PM by CleverUsername.)
God is a terrible father
It's Fathers Day and in celebration I think we should all reflect on what a terrible father God is.

God being a father is an analogy I see fairly often. We are all God's children, our heavenly father, blah blah blah, but all I can think about whenever this is mentioned is how much of an awful dad he'd make.

- He's such an absentee dad he's never even bothered to meet our moms, let alone us.

- Subsequently, don't even think about any physical contact. God don't do hugs.

- He screws us over before we're even born. "Oh, what new and exciting problems that'll be life ruining or ending can I give this newborn?"

- Likewise, he apparently purposefully installs things he hates in his children seemingly for the sole purpose of hating them. "Now to make this kid more inclined to use his brain...grrrr, I hate that this kid uses his brain more."

- His thing with the apple tree. I maintain that anyone with logic that screwed up should not be allowed to have a kid. It opens the door for so many other screwed up situations. "Now Little Timmy, daddy's going to put this chocolate chip cookie that'll give you the ability to fly right here on the floor within arms reach for the rest of your life. If you ever eat it, daddy will beat you mercilessly for the rest of your life."

- He plays favorites like nobody's business. One kid gets born to someone who will immediately dump them in the trash, another gets born to some billionaire person. One kid gets malaria, another gets a private jet. One can't find food, the other can find their car keys.

- His all time favorite kid is technically himself.

- You can tell which is his favorite because that one gets super useful super powers while the rest of us don't. Imagine how many of his screwed over children would be helped by that thing where a small amount of food feeds hundreds if he'd just let people other than Jesus use that trick. But he doesn't cause Jesus is the favorite.

- The crucifixion thing. I presume I don't need to get into how severely fucked up the crucifixion thing is.

- If his kids don't get down on their knees once a day/week to worship him he'll hate them. Forever.

- Though he's supposedly in contact with his children every day he never responds and the topic is always him. It's just nonstop compliments and begging from one side while the other presumably just nods his head in agreement with the former and doesn't pay attention to the latter.

- His supposed contact is ridiculously overly formal. Ever seen anyone open a prayer with "Hey, Dad"? No, "My heavenly father", "My lord", "God almighty", the guy ensures you know who the better one in this conversation is before it even starts.

- He makes thousands of children whose entire lives will be for the sole purpose of kissing his ass.

- Whenever he gets really upset or bored with his kids he just slaughters 'em. In mass numbers. That or he massively screws them over. "Well now you all can't speak to each other! HA! That'll teach you for trying to reach me!"

- He has a plan for you. This guy has planned out your entire life and forced you to conform to that plan. That's both creepy and domineering.

- Sometimes A lot of the time his plan involves horrible pain he purposefully puts you through.

- He wants you to remember how worthless you are without him, you little piece of garbage.

- The guy just clearly has no clue what parental love even is. "Hey, sorry I killed all your kids for a bet, Job. Here's a bunch of new ones because that's TOTALLY the same, right?"

So remember, this Father's Day, take a moment to appreciate the fact that God is not your dad. Yes

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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21-06-2015, 11:36 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
"Christianity. My favorite dead beat dad story." - Roger Smith
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21-06-2015, 12:24 PM
RE: God is a terrible father
(21-06-2015 11:36 AM)Fodder_From_The_Truth Wrote:  "Christianity. My favorite dead beat dad story." - Roger Smith


Hahaha. I'm stealing that, thank you very much. Big Grin

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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21-06-2015, 12:48 PM
RE: God is a terrible father
(21-06-2015 12:24 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(21-06-2015 11:36 AM)Fodder_From_The_Truth Wrote:  "Christianity. My favorite dead beat dad story." - Roger Smith


Hahaha. I'm stealing that, thank you very much. Big Grin

American Dad is Seth McFarlane's best work IMO.
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21-06-2015, 01:42 PM
RE: God is a terrible father
He's probably hiding from the massive child support bill he owes us all... Big Grin

"I talk to god but the sky is empty" - Sylvia Plath

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too"? - Douglas Adams Bechased
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21-06-2015, 02:18 PM
RE: God is a terrible father
Love it!!!! And i used to be the biggest proponent of father daddy in the sky since my dad was absentee my entire life. I never, until I became an atheist, thought of it this way. Dead beat daddy walkin'. ;-)

**Crickets** -- God
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21-06-2015, 03:45 PM
RE: God is a terrible father
He never bought me a single birthday or Christmas present.


My Youtube channel if anyone is interested.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEkRdbq...rLEz-0jEHQ
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21-06-2015, 04:03 PM
RE: God is a terrible father
Humans traditionally experienced a father figure as the leader of a family, it just segued naturally into the Bible stories. One of the many reasons to discount the Bible and god.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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21-06-2015, 05:15 PM
RE: God is a terrible father
Totally absent and doesn't pay child support. Sounds like my dad.

#sigh
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21-06-2015, 10:08 PM
RE: God is a terrible father
No hugs, no pats on the back for a job well done, no appreciation of us at all, it's just me, me, me with him. Narcissist? hmm...
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