God is a terrible father
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22-06-2015, 06:21 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
(21-06-2015 10:40 AM)CleverUsername Wrote:  - His all time favorite kid is technically himself.

Don't forget: he conceived himself by knocking up one of his many kids.
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22-06-2015, 06:36 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
Who knew God was a black man?
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22-06-2015, 08:44 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
(21-06-2015 10:40 AM)CleverUsername Wrote:  It's Fathers Day and in celebration I think we should all reflect on what a terrible father God is.

God being a father is an analogy I see fairly often. We are all God's children, our heavenly father, blah blah blah, but all I can think about whenever this is mentioned is how much of an awful dad he'd make.

- He's such an absentee dad he's never even bothered to meet our moms, let alone us.

- Subsequently, don't even think about any physical contact. God don't do hugs.

- He screws us over before we're even born. "Oh, what new and exciting problems that'll be life ruining or ending can I give this newborn?"

- Likewise, he apparently purposefully installs things he hates in his children seemingly for the sole purpose of hating them. "Now to make this kid more inclined to use his brain...grrrr, I hate that this kid uses his brain more."

- His thing with the apple tree. I maintain that anyone with logic that screwed up should not be allowed to have a kid. It opens the door for so many other screwed up situations. "Now Little Timmy, daddy's going to put this chocolate chip cookie that'll give you the ability to fly right here on the floor within arms reach for the rest of your life. If you ever eat it, daddy will beat you mercilessly for the rest of your life."

- He plays favorites like nobody's business. One kid gets born to someone who will immediately dump them in the trash, another gets born to some billionaire person. One kid gets malaria, another gets a private jet. One can't find food, the other can find their car keys.

- His all time favorite kid is technically himself.

- You can tell which is his favorite because that one gets super useful super powers while the rest of us don't. Imagine how many of his screwed over children would be helped by that thing where a small amount of food feeds hundreds if he'd just let people other than Jesus use that trick. But he doesn't cause Jesus is the favorite.

- The crucifixion thing. I presume I don't need to get into how severely fucked up the crucifixion thing is.

- If his kids don't get down on their knees once a day/week to worship him he'll hate them. Forever.

- Though he's supposedly in contact with his children every day he never responds and the topic is always him. It's just nonstop compliments and begging from one side while the other presumably just nods his head in agreement with the former and doesn't pay attention to the latter.

- His supposed contact is ridiculously overly formal. Ever seen anyone open a prayer with "Hey, Dad"? No, "My heavenly father", "My lord", "God almighty", the guy ensures you know who the better one in this conversation is before it even starts.

- He makes thousands of children whose entire lives will be for the sole purpose of kissing his ass.

- Whenever he gets really upset or bored with his kids he just slaughters 'em. In mass numbers. That or he massively screws them over. "Well now you all can't speak to each other! HA! That'll teach you for trying to reach me!"

- He has a plan for you. This guy has planned out your entire life and forced you to conform to that plan. That's both creepy and domineering.

- Sometimes A lot of the time his plan involves horrible pain he purposefully puts you through.

- He wants you to remember how worthless you are without him, you little piece of garbage.

- The guy just clearly has no clue what parental love even is. "Hey, sorry I killed all your kids for a bet, Job. Here's a bunch of new ones because that's TOTALLY the same, right?"

So remember, this Father's Day, take a moment to appreciate the fact that God is not your dad. Yes

god is not everyones father but only to those who love him. its just like not everyone will go to heaven when they die but not everyone respects god.
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22-06-2015, 08:54 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
(22-06-2015 08:44 AM)prycejosh Wrote:  
(21-06-2015 10:40 AM)CleverUsername Wrote:  It's Fathers Day and in celebration I think we should all reflect on what a terrible father God is.

God being a father is an analogy I see fairly often. We are all God's children, our heavenly father, blah blah blah, but all I can think about whenever this is mentioned is how much of an awful dad he'd make.

- He's such an absentee dad he's never even bothered to meet our moms, let alone us.

- Subsequently, don't even think about any physical contact. God don't do hugs.

- He screws us over before we're even born. "Oh, what new and exciting problems that'll be life ruining or ending can I give this newborn?"

- Likewise, he apparently purposefully installs things he hates in his children seemingly for the sole purpose of hating them. "Now to make this kid more inclined to use his brain...grrrr, I hate that this kid uses his brain more."

- His thing with the apple tree. I maintain that anyone with logic that screwed up should not be allowed to have a kid. It opens the door for so many other screwed up situations. "Now Little Timmy, daddy's going to put this chocolate chip cookie that'll give you the ability to fly right here on the floor within arms reach for the rest of your life. If you ever eat it, daddy will beat you mercilessly for the rest of your life."

- He plays favorites like nobody's business. One kid gets born to someone who will immediately dump them in the trash, another gets born to some billionaire person. One kid gets malaria, another gets a private jet. One can't find food, the other can find their car keys.

- His all time favorite kid is technically himself.

- You can tell which is his favorite because that one gets super useful super powers while the rest of us don't. Imagine how many of his screwed over children would be helped by that thing where a small amount of food feeds hundreds if he'd just let people other than Jesus use that trick. But he doesn't cause Jesus is the favorite.

- The crucifixion thing. I presume I don't need to get into how severely fucked up the crucifixion thing is.

- If his kids don't get down on their knees once a day/week to worship him he'll hate them. Forever.

- Though he's supposedly in contact with his children every day he never responds and the topic is always him. It's just nonstop compliments and begging from one side while the other presumably just nods his head in agreement with the former and doesn't pay attention to the latter.

- His supposed contact is ridiculously overly formal. Ever seen anyone open a prayer with "Hey, Dad"? No, "My heavenly father", "My lord", "God almighty", the guy ensures you know who the better one in this conversation is before it even starts.

- He makes thousands of children whose entire lives will be for the sole purpose of kissing his ass.

- Whenever he gets really upset or bored with his kids he just slaughters 'em. In mass numbers. That or he massively screws them over. "Well now you all can't speak to each other! HA! That'll teach you for trying to reach me!"

- He has a plan for you. This guy has planned out your entire life and forced you to conform to that plan. That's both creepy and domineering.

- Sometimes A lot of the time his plan involves horrible pain he purposefully puts you through.

- He wants you to remember how worthless you are without him, you little piece of garbage.

- The guy just clearly has no clue what parental love even is. "Hey, sorry I killed all your kids for a bet, Job. Here's a bunch of new ones because that's TOTALLY the same, right?"

So remember, this Father's Day, take a moment to appreciate the fact that God is not your dad. Yes

god is not everyones father but only to those who love him. its just like not everyone will go to heaven when they die but not everyone respects god.

I think you missed the off ramp to the Christian forum... Tongue
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22-06-2015, 09:20 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
(22-06-2015 08:44 AM)prycejosh Wrote:  god is not everyones father but only to those who love him.

and you believe that and choose to worship such a being?

I guess I will never understand Stockholm syndrome.

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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22-06-2015, 09:36 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
(22-06-2015 06:21 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  
(21-06-2015 10:40 AM)CleverUsername Wrote:  - His all time favorite kid is technically himself.

Don't forget: he conceived himself by knocking up one of his many kids.

You mean the little Jewish girl, Mary? It was more like rape. And didn't he send some angel to do the actual deed with a beam of light or something? The guy's an asshole by any standard................well, except for religious standards.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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22-06-2015, 10:17 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
I don't think you're being fair, guys. I mean, when my son misbehaved, I would put him in the oven set to 525°F for a few hours. That always got him on the straight and narrow.
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24-06-2015, 10:00 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
And we can't forget he's always short on MONEY. That's why he need yours.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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24-06-2015, 10:10 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
(22-06-2015 10:17 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  I don't think you're being fair, guys. I mean, when my son misbehaved, I would put him in the oven set to 525°F for a few hours. That always got him on the straight and narrow.

525°F?? Fahrenheit is for wimps. 525°C - that's what real dads do!!Evil_monsterSadcryfaceHobo
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24-06-2015, 11:58 AM
RE: God is a terrible father
Also don't forget if he happens to exist and tries to beat us or send us into fire, all we need is a chariot of iron and he will be powerless against us.

Judges 1:19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

“We can judge our progress by the courage of our questions and the depth of our answers, our willingness to embrace what is true rather than what feels good.”
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