God[less]-Parents?
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19-12-2011, 11:13 PM
God[less]-Parents?
My wife is Catholic and I am an Atheist. We are discussing God-parents for our unborn child- due in 5 months.

I was raised in the south among a mostly Agnostic or Baptist family and never really knew the concept of God-parents. My wife has a couple in mind, but she wants my input as well.

I really haven't thought about it. Are there an Atheist parents out there who had God-parents for their child?

Any input or opinions would be appreciated. Thanks!

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19-12-2011, 11:26 PM
RE: God[less]-Parents?
(19-12-2011 11:13 PM)ConditionYellow Wrote:  My wife is Catholic and I am an Atheist. We are discussing God-parents for our unborn child- due in 5 months.

I was raised in the south among a mostly Agnostic or Baptist family and never really knew the concept of God-parents. My wife has a couple in mind, but she wants my input as well.

I really haven't thought about it. Are there an Atheist parents out there who had God-parents for their child?

Any input or opinions would be appreciated. Thanks!

Think of the God-parents as somewhat like an aunt and uncle. Pick people with whom you would like your children to have a life-long relationship.

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19-12-2011, 11:33 PM
RE: God[less]-Parents?
(19-12-2011 11:26 PM)Chas Wrote:  Think of the God-parents as somewhat like an aunt and uncle. Pick people with whom you would like your children to have a life-long relationship.

And then make them an offer they can't refuse? See what I did there?

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20-12-2011, 08:48 AM
RE: God[less]-Parents?
Too little information about your specific case. You have to know that the godparents have the (theoretical) responsibility to maintain the child indoctrinated even when parents fail to do so. Ultimately it's entirely up to you and what you want for your children but take the following into consideration:

1. If the couple your wife has in mind are religious nuts, they *will* become bothersome because in their opinion they have a life-long responsibility in front of god to turn your child into a true catholic
2. If you haven't already done so, have a long looong and very honest conversation with your wife about the way you're going to raise the child in matters of religion and indoctrination. It's not essential to agree on everything, but whatever lack of honesty, misinformation and opinions you both have and failed to express will bite your ass in the future.
3. Make sure that the godparents are one of the following: religiously-inert people who will visit you once a year and bring presents to your child and that's about all they ever do (my case), very close friends or family - people you like and who know who you are and understand you, free thinkers, OR, if they fall in a different category, make sure that you understand the implications and you're OK with them.

Congratulations and good luck.

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20-12-2011, 09:23 AM
RE: God[less]-Parents?
Chose someone you would trust in case something happens to you two, because that's pretty much what they are for. Sorry if that sounds hard. Make sure that you trust, whoever you pick, enough to take and raise the child.
And best of course someone you don't have to argue about. If your wife has some couples in mind that you would like, just pick one of them Smile

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20-12-2011, 07:38 PM
RE: God[less]-Parents?
(20-12-2011 08:48 AM)Malleus Wrote:  Too little information about your specific case. You have to know that the godparents have the (theoretical) responsibility to maintain the child indoctrinated even when parents fail to do so.

Yes, that is THE scariest thing. As an atheist, having "godparents" for my children was never an issue, but if you really have a need for extra parents for your child, then I'd find those who are not religious or who will rarely see your child.

I would make sure that your child is going to have freedom of thought and will not have contact with those who are likely to fill its head with religious information before it is old enough to decide for itself.

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20-12-2011, 09:12 PM
RE: God[less]-Parents?
Thanks for all the good advice, guys! Keep it coming!

The couple my wife wants contains a "Christian" and a Lutheran. I use quotes because I believe she's more agnostic. But if you don't tell people you are at least "Christian" down here in the south, you risk public scrutiny.

An alternative couple (literally and figuratively) is a gay couple who are extremely liberal- likewise one is an atheist and one Catholic. I'm leaning towards them myself.

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20-12-2011, 10:29 PM
RE: God[less]-Parents?
I have never been around the godparent idea so it meant little to nothing to me. One of my army buddies (atheist) his wife is catholic, they labelled me a godparent. I'm clueless as to what that meant lol. I now live about 900miles away now.

For people that aren't raised around that type of lifestyle it's weird. Especially living where you live people probably won't take it seriously. Just my opinion.

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20-12-2011, 10:31 PM
RE: God[less]-Parents?
(20-12-2011 09:12 PM)ConditionYellow Wrote:  Thanks for all the good advice, guys! Keep it coming!

The couple my wife wants contains a "Christian" and a Lutheran. I use quotes because I believe she's more agnostic. But if you don't tell people you are at least "Christian" down here in the south, you risk public scrutiny.

An alternative couple (literally and figuratively) is a gay couple who are extremely liberal- likewise one is an atheist and one Catholic. I'm leaning towards them myself.

Um, I didn't realize that you risk public scrutiny! That doesn't sound too good. I can't imagine that type of environment.

I think your idea of the gay couple is a great idea. Is that safe, in the south? Smile

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20-12-2011, 11:19 PM
RE: God[less]-Parents?
I was raised with a very different idea of godparents. That then evolved to become what my daughters godparents are to her.

My daughters mom had catholic parents, so she wanted my kid to have godparents to please them. So she chose a godmother, and I a godfather. I chose my brother, who is an amazing person (free-est thinker I've ever known, atheist, and an real genius) and I wanted him to be more than just an "uncle". The agreement was that as her godfather, he would take an integral role in her life. He is EXTREMELY close with her, as a role model, a friend, a confidant, and as a person she can trust and learn from. In fact, she calls him "Godfather"!

It doesn't have to be about religion, and it doesn't have to be the person designated to be a kids caregiver, should something happen to you (it's very simple paperwork to designate a caregiver that is not the godparent/s) Choose someone who you want to not only be close to your kid, but someone who will truly impact their life for the better.

That's my take on it.

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