God's Checklist for Humanity
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25-02-2012, 06:15 PM
God's Checklist for Humanity
Christians, your God has apparently created a divine plan for the universe, all who inhabit it, and everything that will become of the universe, good, bad, right, and wrong, are foreseen by this God, and the intentions of such as so that we all lead ethical, healthy, "normal" lives, followed shortly thereafter, by eternal happiness, bliss, peace, and well-being. You also believe your god is the sign of perfection, and sovereign, and as a human, we have NO rights to judge, critique, or bring in to question, the plan of your almighty, divine, perfect God, Lord, and Savior. Anything we as humans find wrong, flawed, or inadequate to your God's plan, is apparently attributed to our imperfections as human-beings in the universe, and seen by your God as sinful, rebellious, anarchist beings...

Note: Everything you are about to read is in someway derived directly from the Bible, so don't try to say it isn't "true" (lol, irony.)

So, with all of that in your heads, I'll take this moment to remind you all what your God's "Divine plan" really is, and how contradictory, and lackluster it truly is.

"God's Divine Plan" (according to Christian beliefs)
-Arrange for something other than yourself to exist.
-Create a being, known as Lucifer, with full knowledge he/she will betray you, and cause an infinite amount of suffering, unnecessary pain, torture, and death.
-Allow an unfathomably horrific dimension come into existence, known as "Hell", created by yourself, or Lucifer, and allow that dimension to continue existing, and do nothing to destroy it -- that comes up later
-Create objective, unchanging, moral prescriptions, and base them on whatever your nature happens to be, and then label any action thought contrary to these standards, "sin" -Be sure to include edicts for social and psychological health, such as promotion of family violence (beating your children) (Proverbs 23:13-14, permission to buy and sell slaves(Leviticus 25:44-46), require that women have no authority over men, and have not the right to teach (Timothy 2:9-14), and lastly, to KILL anyone with interest in worshiping any other "god" (Deuteronomy 13:6-10).
-Design a physical universe with planets, earth, vegetation, and animals, all with the appearance of age, and be sure to include biological flaws, redundancies, and over-complications, that appear to have been caused by blind misobservations, which of course you created, such as a urinary tract the runs directly through a prostate gland, or you know, unnecessary rupturing of one's appendix..right?
-Create a garden, with a tree in it, bearing fruit, that when eaten, will grant infinite knowledge. Alongside this, create two cognitive beings, without any knowledge of the world, or the moral standards in this Divine Plan, and tell them not to eat from the tree that would enlighten them. This being said, in such a case, they would not comprehend that eating from the tree was wrong, until they already DID eat from the tree.
-Warn the same cognitive beings from the above passage, they will undoubtedly DIE if they eat from the tree, but don't kill them if they do eat from it - endow a reptile with some way of speaking to you, that will enable it to make a good case against one of the beings for eating from this tree.
-Now, make sure these cognitive beings have been given the proper tools for reproduction, to multiply themselves in a way, and due to the sins of eating from the tree - make sure that EVERY child birth for all eternity, will cause immense pains, and possible health risks. Alongside such, every child born thereafter, will, by default, be of sinful nature - without doing anything wrong in the first place. -Endow the cognitive beings from the above passages with a "Soul", which gives them thoughts, feelings, etc. etc., then allow the sinfulness of these beings to incompatible with your presence, so HELL can be the only place they can go after death, and do not stop this from happening.
-Over time, allow them to grow and spread across the Earth, until after so many generations, they have disappointed you enough, to KILL all of them in a global flood, and start over from scratch, yes?
-When this happens, make it where one small family, just like before, that you, God, have deemed righteous of serving you directly, even with the knowledge, and infallible certainty, they too will betray you, just like everyone else around you, therefore being punished and sent to hell for all eternity, but pretend you don't know that, and send them on their journey of life, anyway.
-Instruct them to populate the world again, by means of incest..
-The only way to rectify the disappointment and shames brought side-by-side with sin, is unnecessary, and brutal animal sacrifices, and alongside such, anyone who sins around you must be slain immediately for betraying you. -In the meantime, make yourself look good, by performing incredible miracles, for all to see, and oftentimes intervene with your physical creation. (Part the Red Sea, turn women into pillars of salt, stop the sun in the sky, turn water into wine, etc., etc., but before advancements in Science reach such that it is possible to record, study, playback, and gather information of these "miracles", just stop performing them altogether !!!
-Now realize your moral standards are not so obvious to the human race as you once thought they were - so now chisel your TOP TEN moral standards (leave out all the rest), into stone, and send them to the masses. Note: These "moral standards", yeah, over 50% of them will relate to pleasing you, worshiping you, and serving you.
-After thousands of years, impregnate one of your cognitive beings, so she shall give birth to your son, which in reality, is just you taking a physical form - and you are now your own father.
-Allow this son, who is also you, to grow up, and make many, many revisions to your moral standards, then arrange for other cognitive beings to torture and kill you..? Now take this opportunity to grant everyone else, for all eternity to be washed free of sinful nature...which you allowed them to have in the first place...>.>?
-Do not, however, make the rewards of this sacrifice free, in any way! Establish that no cognitive beings will be given the privileges of this sacrifice, unless they worship you, and actively believe the sacrifice occurred, otherwise, they are to be punished. In other words - despite any values, morals, intellectuality, bravery, courage, and other personality traits, if they didn't find sufficient proof of a grand sacrifice, thus not believing, they are to be damned to hell, to burn and be tortured, for all eternity.
-With the above passage in mind - be sure to make it unclear, and unknowable that the sacrifice did indeed occur, and be sure nobody after the first century gets to even witness the presence of your son, (which is you..), and make sure nobody can establish he/you were a living god - again, all of this BEFORE scientific advancements, allowing documentation, recording, and study of these events to be made, leaving no paper trail of your existence.
-Make sure the only trace of any of these events are documented anonymously via non-eyewitnesses, who speak the language of you/your son spoke, a long 30 years after these miracles took place, however, do make sure that it includes that believing in something without evidence or research is morally superior to that which denominates investigation, study, and research.
-Be sure that after decades, and decades of these events taking place, the only evidence of this existence are copies..of copies, of copies, which have been manipulated, and do not preserve the original copies of these documentations, and do not protect them from being revised, and changed upon hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of means, and following years.
-Do NOT employ your omniscience in a way to decipher whether people are truly rebelling against your moral code, and those who simply don't know, and cannot decide - punish them all equally, because they didn't believe what you offered.
-Do NOT make it clear to these beings that you are even here - just make it easily debatable proposition, and easily doubtable discernment.
-Punish those who have not correctly guessed which version of god, if any at all, were correct - despite their character traits, bravery, intellect, etc., etc. - damn them to Hell regardless, if they do not make the correct choice before their time on Earth is up (which, going without saying, you cause the end, or so you say)
-When all is over, demand you be praised for this divine plan.

Is the Christian god really to be the epitome of moral?
Hell. No.

Questions? Concerns?
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25-02-2012, 07:06 PM
RE: God's Checklist for Humanity
You belong on TBN, praise god.
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25-02-2012, 07:18 PM
RE: God's Checklist for Humanity
Well said (although Epicurus was a tad more succinct). You won't find many to challenge that, here.

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26-02-2012, 10:32 PM
RE: God's Checklist for Humanity
Yes, a fine plan it is.

If there is a god that planed this I believe he is the offspring of other gods who gave him his first universe to play with.
He gets to fuck this one up as he learns.

Lucky us.

The old gods are dead, let's invent some new ones before something really bad happens.
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27-02-2012, 11:47 AM
RE: God's Checklist for Humanity
Bravo for the most part. I felt the need to add in some verses that annoyed me growing up. Here are some more verses of God or someone else describing him in the bible. I was raised a pretty strict Christian and therefore know many verses that contradict themselves and prove the bible to be possibly the largest collection of hypocrisy around.

"...To Fear the Lord is wisdom” --Job 28:28

“...for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God” --Deut 5:9

"For our God is a consuming fire!" -- Hebrews 12:29

“He cast upon them the fierceness of his anger, wrath, and indignation, and trouble, by sending evil angels among them.” --Psalms 78:49

“Behold, the day of the Lord cometh, cruel both with wrath and fierce anger...” -- Isaiah 13:9

And yet another interesting topic I am not interested in.
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27-02-2012, 03:35 PM
RE: God's Checklist for Humanity
(25-02-2012 06:15 PM)Jordan Wrote:  -Do NOT make it clear to these beings that you are even here - just make it easily debatable proposition, and easily doubtable discernment.

This is all any theist ever needs.
Unless we stop them from doing it by holding their method to the fire.

It's all in your head, because there is no other place it could be.
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