God's plan and reproduction.
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13-04-2013, 10:42 AM
God's plan and reproduction.
So God creates Adam and leaves him be. Then, with his infinite wisdom, he suddenly realizes that “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

God, however, sees that Adam isn't quite content with the animals' company. He hits his forehead with his palm saying, "Oh fuck, I should've known. I'll create another 'Adam', but with a pair of 'boobs' and a hole between his legs. I'll call him 'a woman'! Jesus Christ, I'm a freakin' genius!"

So I was wondering, what was God's original plan for reproduction? He obviously didn't think of the concept of females at the time, so it means that animals didn't come in pairs either, but were males only. So either he planned for Adam to asexually reproduce himself, or mate with (male) animals. Right? Or, in case there WERE other humans (again, males only) other than Adam as some people baselessly claim, did God expect Adam to mate with them? I suppose he wasn't against homosexually at the time.
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13-04-2013, 10:55 AM
RE: God's plan and reproduction.
Maybe he expected them to live forever and be obedient. I thought pregnancy was supposed to be painful as some sort of punishment for disobedience. Maybe he would not have made woman at all, ever, if Adam wasn't lonely. Then Adam would live forever. Maybe god would just create more himself, rather than relying on them to reproduce. But then, did he have a belly button? He must have had a penis. Why?

Of course, none of it makes sense because it's from a fiction book, though. Since it was written retrospectively, and there were lots of humans on earth when it was written, they probably didn't even think it through very much. I mean, there's the whole thing about adam and eve having two sons, and those were the only 4 people, and then the sons go find wives. How? Who? There are all kinds of plot holes.
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13-04-2013, 11:03 AM
RE: God's plan and reproduction.
Of course. Motherfuckers wanna go "god breathed, god inspired," yet continuously fail to realise that at its best, Genesis is Moses telling backstory. Dodgy

The details are not important. Did I mention, I hate theists? Moses' agenda was to provide for creation. You know, the whole, "in the beginning" bullshit" It was a popular meme at the time... I mean, duh. Sometimes, I hate being a prophet... Angel

What is still popular, is that "creator god" has more potency than "natural god." But try to explain to theist that YHWH is more of an engineer... Dodgy

And!

I've been drinking... Blush

And!

I love my Gwynnies! Big Grin

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13-04-2013, 11:09 AM
RE: God's plan and reproduction.
(13-04-2013 10:55 AM)amyb Wrote:  Maybe he expected them to live forever and be obedient. I thought pregnancy was supposed to be painful as some sort of punishment for disobedience. Maybe he would not have made woman at all, ever, if Adam wasn't lonely. Then Adam would live forever. Maybe god would just create more himself, rather than relying on them to reproduce. But then, did he have a belly button? He must have had a penis. Why?

Of course, none of it makes sense because it's from a fiction book, though. Since it was written retrospectively, and there were lots of humans on earth when it was written, they probably didn't even think it through very much. I mean, there's the whole thing about adam and eve having two sons, and those were the only 4 people, and then the sons go find wives. How? Who? There are all kinds of plot holes.
They weren't intended to live forever, otherwise God wouldn't forbid them from eating the fruit of the Tree of Life, but would just make them immortal. Right?
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13-04-2013, 11:21 AM
RE: God's plan and reproduction.
What does forbidding them from eating it have to do with lifespan? Maybe he only wanted them immortal if they were obedient. Or maybe they'd live a long time and not have to reproduce. God wouldn't be very busy if there were only a few people, I think, so he'd have plenty of time to make more humans.

I still think it's just that the authors didn't think it through much, since things happened the way they did.
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13-04-2013, 11:39 AM (This post was last modified: 13-04-2013 02:52 PM by Anjele.)
RE: God's plan and reproduction.
Maybe God just forgot about the whole concept of populating the earth...I mean he should have known it would take more than one person...

Methinks his plan was not thought out so well.

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13-04-2013, 11:42 AM (This post was last modified: 13-04-2013 11:51 AM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: God's plan and reproduction.
(13-04-2013 10:42 AM)Vlad Wrote:  So God creates Adam and leaves him be. Then, with his infinite wisdom, he suddenly realizes that “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

God, however, sees that Adam isn't quite content with the animals' company. He hits his forehead with his palm saying, "Oh fuck, I should've known. I'll create another 'Adam', but with a pair of 'boobs' and a hole between his legs. I'll call him 'a woman'! Jesus Christ, I'm a freakin' genius!"

So I was wondering, what was God's original plan for reproduction? He obviously didn't think of the concept of females at the time, so it means that animals didn't come in pairs either, but were males only. So either he planned for Adam to asexually reproduce himself, or mate with (male) animals. Right? Or, in case there WERE other humans (again, males only) other than Adam as some people baselessly claim, did God expect Adam to mate with them? I suppose he wasn't against homosexually at the time.

Genesis 2:18
The Lord God said : "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for the man". So the Lord God formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and he brought them to the man to see what he would call them; whatever the man called them would be it's name. The man gave names to ALL the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none *PROVED* to be a suitable partner for the man.

Thus ended the Age of Bestiality, and whatever you would call screwing large birds, and the dumb god figured out it needed a plan B.
Weeping

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13-04-2013, 11:43 AM
RE: God's plan and reproduction.
(13-04-2013 11:09 AM)Vlad Wrote:  
(13-04-2013 10:55 AM)amyb Wrote:  Maybe he expected them to live forever and be obedient. I thought pregnancy was supposed to be painful as some sort of punishment for disobedience. Maybe he would not have made woman at all, ever, if Adam wasn't lonely. Then Adam would live forever. Maybe god would just create more himself, rather than relying on them to reproduce. But then, did he have a belly button? He must have had a penis. Why?

Of course, none of it makes sense because it's from a fiction book, though. Since it was written retrospectively, and there were lots of humans on earth when it was written, they probably didn't even think it through very much. I mean, there's the whole thing about adam and eve having two sons, and those were the only 4 people, and then the sons go find wives. How? Who? There are all kinds of plot holes.
They weren't intended to live forever, otherwise God wouldn't forbid them from eating the fruit of the Tree of Life, but would just make them immortal. Right?

It was the Tree of Knowledge, and they brought pain and death into the world.

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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13-04-2013, 11:55 AM
RE: God's plan and reproduction.
(13-04-2013 11:42 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(13-04-2013 10:42 AM)Vlad Wrote:  So God creates Adam and leaves him be. Then, with his infinite wisdom, he suddenly realizes that “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

God, however, sees that Adam isn't quite content with the animals' company. He hits his forehead with his palm saying, "Oh fuck, I should've known. I'll create another 'Adam', but with a pair of 'boobs' and a hole between his legs. I'll call him 'a woman'! Jesus Christ, I'm a freakin' genius!"

So I was wondering, what was God's original plan for reproduction? He obviously didn't think of the concept of females at the time, so it means that animals didn't come in pairs either, but were males only. So either he planned for Adam to asexually reproduce himself, or mate with (male) animals. Right? Or, in case there WERE other humans (again, males only) other than Adam as some people baselessly claim, did God expect Adam to mate with them? I suppose he wasn't against homosexually at the time.

Genesis 2:18
The Lord God said : "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for the man". So the Lord God formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and he brought them to the man to see what he would call them; whatever the man called them would be it's name. The man gave names to ALL the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none *PROVED* to be a suitable partner for the man.

Thus ended the Age of Bestiality, and whatever you would call screwing large birds, and the dumb god figured out it needed a plan B.
Weeping

Oh -- wow...never thought of it quite that way...YUCK and those poor animals.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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13-04-2013, 12:05 PM
RE: God's plan and reproduction.
(13-04-2013 11:43 AM)Chas Wrote:  It was the Tree of Knowledge, and they brought pain and death into the world.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking: had they been obedient and not eaten from it, they'd just live forever, happily ever after in the garden, so reproduction wouldn't really be an issue if no one is dying.
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