Going To Church With My Wife
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23-01-2015, 09:36 PM
RE: Going To Church With My Wife
Wheb I've gone to the Evang. to help the neighbor with the stairs, she joins her long time friends. I'll sit well off to one side and lay a book on the seat of the pew and read. No one can see the book. I've seen more than a few games being played on iphones.
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23-01-2015, 10:42 PM
RE: Going To Church With My Wife
I know it's hard for her, but I don't think it's wise for your wife to ask you to fake it. If her friends will shun her because of your unbelief, then she's better off without them in her life. I don't think you'd ask her to pretend to be atheist.
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24-01-2015, 02:06 AM
RE: Going To Church With My Wife
As a new atheist I was very uncomfortable with church and strongly avoided going. These days my ideas have moderated somewhat and I see it much as I did when I was inside the church. It is a social group. It is a family, especially in small churches. It is a community group who sing songs together and support each other. I don't mind going these days on the rare occasions that call for it.

When I go I still attend the church I attended as teenager. Many of the older crowd are people I knew from then and still get along with well. Many of the songs are the songs of my youth. When you put all that together it is a place that I don't mind going or being.

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
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25-01-2015, 08:33 AM
RE: Going To Church With My Wife
Thanks for all of the input and different perspectives! We ended up not attending church this morning in lieu of getting practical things done at the house today.

I am not too good at ignoring the nonsense and being a fake, so I have decided that I will not play along and just be honest if people ask / when the time comes. And bring a book, just in case Smile

I am going to suggest a UU church one of these weeks - I think that would be significantly more suited for what we are looking for.

[Image: slaininthespirit-3.jpg]
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25-01-2015, 12:03 PM
RE: Going To Church With My Wife
(20-01-2015 09:03 AM)zachzachzachzach Wrote:  My wife and I have had some ups and downs since my gradual rejection of religion over the past few years. Thankfully, we are in a good place now and continue working through and discuss topics as they come up.

One of the negotiables that I have is going to church. I know that my wife will feel supported and encouraged if we go to church together, so we have decided to go to church this Sunday. Lecture_preist


This brings up 2 issues:
1.) It is a church that we visited occasionally when I was still a believer... and the more that I think about it the more I worry about how I am going to get through it. It is a charismatic evangelical church, so at least it won't be super boring, but listening to the worship songs and the pastor talking about nonsense (sin, blessings, tithing, Jesus, the holy spirit, etc.) is going to be difficult. I guess I can use it as a time to do some mindfulness meditation or something Huh

2.) We also have a 4 month old son, and our old small group of friends does not, so it seems like we may need to generate a new group of friends since we haven't seen much of them since the baby was born... and sadly church may be the best route. I told my wife that on top of going to church, I will join a "small group" with other families with small children to meet some new people. I told her that I will "play along" and not buck too much about the nonsense, or if it works, I will be completely open with my non-belief but still attend and not be a dick about it. We have yet to see how that will play out, but it will be interesting Consider


I have like 3 atheist friends, but none have similar situations, so I was curious if anyone was in a similar place or has gone through this before?
My wife wasn't as rational about things as yours seems to be. Both of you seem to be pretty rational people--stick to that. You might on the side find contradictions and errors, of which there are plenty in the Bible, as counters to christian propaganda. Christianity uses a propaganda technique known as "card stacking", where you only hear what they want you to hear. Check out Matthew 12:40; one of my favorite counters to christians trying to make a point. Having a good Strong's Concordance is a good thing to have to look up what the Bible really says. Topics group all the passages in one place making it easy to compare passages.
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