Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
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23-04-2015, 03:27 PM
Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
I've recently booked a holiday with two friends to visit Athens for 3-4 days in June (influenced by the fact I'm studying ancient Greece.)

I've mentioned it to my girlfriend for a few months now, so it wasn't a spontaneous choice. The problem is that the two friends are girls. Also, she doesn't like them. A main thing she keeps mentioning is that "we're supposed to do things like that together" all that kind of stuff as if anything I do in life I have to do with her... I feel like I'm being mentally bullied so that she can get her own way. I totally understand her concerns but it seems to me she is being unnecessarily crazy.

Am I "being a cunt" for this? Is she overreacting?

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23-04-2015, 03:35 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
You should feel free to do things on your own in a relationship. It's perfectly natural and it shouldn't be getting in the way.

Now, I can't say she's overreacting, but of course I don't know what your relationship is like. For example, my boyfriend is free to go wherever he wants with whomever he wants, but if he goes on a trip somewhere far with someone else and doesn't even ask me to come along, I'd definitely start to worry. I mean, couples tend to do big things together.

What is the reason you didn't ask her to come along (assuming you didn't)? Is there any reason you don't want her to be there with you?

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23-04-2015, 03:40 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(23-04-2015 03:35 PM)undergroundp Wrote:  You should feel free to do things on your own in a relationship. It's perfectly natural and it shouldn't be getting in the way.

Now, I can't say she's overreacting, but of course I don't know what your relationship is like. For example, my boyfriend is free to go wherever he wants with whomever he wants, but if he goes on a trip somewhere far with someone else and doesn't even ask me to come along, I'd definitely start to worry. I mean, couples tend to do big things together.

What is the reason you didn't ask her to come along (assuming you didn't)? Is there any reason you don't want her to be there with you?

Well the two people I'm going with are both on my course at uni, and I see the trip as an educational visit, so I thought it more suitable to go with them. Also, it was them who invited me. I accepted an invitation that's all. Now, she thinks that I've sat there wanting to go to Athens and chose somebody else over her, I understand she could get mad at that but it just isn't the case. They invited me and she doesn't like them so it would have been awkward and shit if we went all together and if I invited my girlfriend after they invited just me.

I've spoke to her about going somewhere else and so on but she has none of it. "It's too late now" etc

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23-04-2015, 03:48 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(23-04-2015 03:40 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  
(23-04-2015 03:35 PM)undergroundp Wrote:  You should feel free to do things on your own in a relationship. It's perfectly natural and it shouldn't be getting in the way.

Now, I can't say she's overreacting, but of course I don't know what your relationship is like. For example, my boyfriend is free to go wherever he wants with whomever he wants, but if he goes on a trip somewhere far with someone else and doesn't even ask me to come along, I'd definitely start to worry. I mean, couples tend to do big things together.

What is the reason you didn't ask her to come along (assuming you didn't)? Is there any reason you don't want her to be there with you?

Well the two people I'm going with are both on my course at uni, and I see the trip as an educational visit, so I thought it more suitable to go with them. Also, it was them who invited me. I accepted an invitation that's all. Now, she thinks that I've sat there wanting to go to Athens and chose somebody else over her, I understand she could get mad at that but it just isn't the case. They invited me and she doesn't like them so it would have been awkward and shit if we went all together and if I invited my girlfriend after they invited just me.

I've spoke to her about going somewhere else and so on but she has none of it. "It's too late now" etc

In that case, the problem is entirely hers. You are not obligated to bring her along everywhere, especially since you've been invited and she hasn't.

Yeah, she is acting kinda crazy.

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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23-04-2015, 03:50 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(23-04-2015 03:48 PM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(23-04-2015 03:40 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  Well the two people I'm going with are both on my course at uni, and I see the trip as an educational visit, so I thought it more suitable to go with them. Also, it was them who invited me. I accepted an invitation that's all. Now, she thinks that I've sat there wanting to go to Athens and chose somebody else over her, I understand she could get mad at that but it just isn't the case. They invited me and she doesn't like them so it would have been awkward and shit if we went all together and if I invited my girlfriend after they invited just me.

I've spoke to her about going somewhere else and so on but she has none of it. "It's too late now" etc

In that case, the problem is entirely hers. You are not obligated to bring her along everywhere, especially since you've been invited and she hasn't.

Yeah, she is acting kinda crazy.

I hope so because I can be stubborn at times.

Saints live in flames; wise men, next to them.
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23-04-2015, 04:45 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Maybe this is a good view of what your future would be like with her.
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23-04-2015, 04:54 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(23-04-2015 03:40 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  ...
I see the trip as an educational visit,
...

Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts

D'uh! Well of course she's pissed off... who wouldn't be? ... you're a lousy boyfriend.

Going on educational field trip without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts

Holy crap! She's got control issues. Dump her immediately.

Laugh out load

Perspective is everything.

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23-04-2015, 05:52 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Clearly, your decision is playing upon her insecurities.

Who's to blame? The both of you, of course.
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23-04-2015, 05:57 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Yeah, I just don't think I know enough about your relationship overall to say whether she's being unreasonable.

She's insecure, and doesn't like them for a reason. Either because of her own issues (not a good reason), or because sometimes your actions don't make her feel like she is a priority over them when it comes right down to it (a good reason).

Try to sit and talk with her about why she feels this way - really truly and deep down, not just in reference to the trip. Make it a calm conversation. Make her feel safe to open up about this.

Either way it turns out, you've probably both got some thinking to do about what you each want out of the relationship.

Best of luck Hug
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23-04-2015, 06:46 PM (This post was last modified: 23-04-2015 06:49 PM by Stevil.)
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(23-04-2015 03:27 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  I've recently booked a holiday with two friends to visit Athens for 3-4 days in June (influenced by the fact I'm studying ancient Greece.)
I love going to new places, experiencing new things with my girlfriend/wife. I tend to find she has catalystic properties for me, a.k.a exciting things are much more exciting when I am experiencing them with her.

If I were on a trip to Athens, I'd be begging her to come with me.

I'm thinking that if you would prefer your girlfriend to not be there, that perhaps you think she will cramp your style, then perhaps she isn't the girl for you.
It's a hell of a thing to be married to a person who you see as cramping you rather than being that catalyst.
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