Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
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23-04-2015, 07:08 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(23-04-2015 06:46 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(23-04-2015 03:27 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  I've recently booked a holiday with two friends to visit Athens for 3-4 days in June (influenced by the fact I'm studying ancient Greece.)
I love going to new places, experiencing new things with my girlfriend/wife. I tend to find she has catalystic properties for me, a.k.a exciting things are much more exciting when I am experiencing them with her.

If I were on a trip to Athens, I'd be begging her to come with me.

I'm thinking that if you would prefer your girlfriend to not be there, that perhaps you think she will cramp your style, then perhaps she isn't the girl for you.
It's a hell of a thing to be married to a person who you see as cramping you rather than being that catalyst.

I don't think he stated a preference for that..
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23-04-2015, 08:28 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(23-04-2015 07:08 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  I don't think he stated a preference for that..
I used words like "if" and "perhaps" to show I was making some guesses.
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23-04-2015, 08:36 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(23-04-2015 06:46 PM)Stevil Wrote:  I'm thinking that if you would prefer your girlfriend to not be there, that perhaps you think she will cramp your style, then perhaps she isn't the girl for you.
It's a hell of a thing to be married to a person who you see as cramping you rather than being that catalyst.

This is really a great way of putting it.
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23-04-2015, 08:39 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(23-04-2015 07:08 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  I don't think he stated a preference for that..

Perhaps not in so many words, but when the OP writes:

(23-04-2015 03:27 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  I feel like I'm being mentally bullied [...]

... it's clear what his preference is. One is not bullied into a decision one already agrees with.
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23-04-2015, 08:51 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Switch it around. How would you feel if she went off with two good looking guys on a trip to......oh lets say....Paris. She's studying.....um....architecture...yeah..architecture, that's what she's studying. Sure thing....snicker snicker ...architecture.

How would you feel about that?

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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23-04-2015, 10:02 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
So your two girlfriends invited you along, your follow up question could have been "cool, mind if Susie Q comes along?"

Or you're not that serious to be going on trips together?

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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23-04-2015, 10:16 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Honestly I'd be kind of pissed off too.

A huge adventure like that and you don't even bother to invite her, over preference of going with two other girls that obviously upset me for some reason..? With a clear impression you give to flicks about my feelings?

If I were her and my boyfriend did that to me I'd be finding a new one.
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23-04-2015, 11:32 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Is she interested/knowledgeable in whatever course it is you're taking? Are you covering your own expenses? Can she get along with the girls despite not liking them?

If the answer to those last two and possibly the first one (depends on whether you're okay with someone following you around needing basic things explained to them) is "yes", yeah, I'd say ask if she can come along.

If not (and even if they say she can't), I don't see why you should miss out on a fun trip because she doesn't trust you. That's her problem.

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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23-04-2015, 11:57 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
In she actually interested in what you're going to see/do there?

I think if my boyfriend were interested, he'd want to come. But if he didn't care about the place, he'd just let me go.

Either way, you've got to talk about this obvious insecurity your girl is feeling.

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24-04-2015, 12:47 AM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Hmm, unlike most other I'm more averse to "third wheel" situations. That is, when I get an invite to any event I hesitate to assume whoever invited me wants me to bring a +1. Mostly I'm thinking of friend/acquaintance invites.

The exceptions to this are:
if the event is already a gathering of many people (i.e. not a personal event)
if the person inviting me is expecting me to hang out with a their significant other.

If I was in your situation I wouldn't invite her along because it wouldn't feel appropriate to bring a significant other on a trip with classmates. Just like if 2 people at my office asked me to go to a convention with them I wouldn't assume or even want to bring my girlfriend along.

But I'm not of the opinion that a couple needs to be attached at the hip, and I am of the opinion that keeping healthy relationships with those who you want to involves taking one on one time to hang out with them. Plus time apart is healthy for any relationship, be it romantic or platonic.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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