Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
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24-04-2015, 12:23 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Wow, several of you guys are really digging into him for this. If there is trust, this shouldn't be an issue. I see it as a huge overreaction to see this as a big deal. There is no reason that just because somebody is the most important person in your life that you need to take them everywhere with you (or go everywhere with them). If it is a consistent, "ahh, I'd rather do that without her" attitude then yeah, that might be a problem. But two or three "ventures" without your SO per year...what's the issue?

I just find it strange because I would encourage my gf to go on a trip like this because I would be happy knowing she was doing something she was really interested in. Then she could tell me all about it when she got back. The sex of your SO's friends shouldn't be an issue.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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24-04-2015, 12:26 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
It's not so much about the person needing to go everywhere with you...I agree that is too much, and odd behavior. But, to not care about your SO's feelings...go on the trip anyway....then, you need to remain single. This isn't to say that the gf is in the right, but seems like there is more to the story than the OP being a victim, and the gf is 'nuts.'

Be true to yourself. Heart
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24-04-2015, 12:33 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
And as a side bar note...

Let's say the gf IS nuts...what does that say about the OP? Why stay with someone who prevents you from having your own identity? If the gf is not nuts, and this is a one or two time isolated occurrence, then it strikes me as odd to just go on the trip, and not consider the other person's feelings.

At the end of the day, we all teach people how to treat us. Let's say the gf here is jealous and possessive, then why stay? By staying...you teach that person that you enjoy being with someone jealous and possessive. If she is a nice person and objects to this one incident, why not respect her wishes?

More to the story....

And we're only hearing one side.

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24-04-2015, 02:43 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Ok questions questions.

She is your girlfriend. How long have you been together? Have you been on trips without her since you've been together? Do you love her? Have you been considering staying with her for a long time, maybe even marriage?

If I am reading this right, she's known about the trip for some months. Now suddenly she doesn't want you to go. She doesn't want to go along with you and your friends who invited you in the first place, but she wants you to cancel with them and take her on a trip?
It seems stupid and immature to me.

If she's just a girlfriend, those are easily replaceable. Dump her and her crazy insecurities and go on your trip.

If you love her, cancel your trip, accept her craziness for what it is. Apologize for accepting the invite without asking her first and tell her that you'll consider her opinion before making big decisions in the future. You can think it's crazy, and it kind of is, but when you love someone you love all of them and you take them with whatever crazy they come with.

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24-04-2015, 03:18 PM (This post was last modified: 24-04-2015 03:32 PM by SunnyD1.)
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 11:41 AM)Deidre32 Wrote:  I'm always wary of men who call their current or ex gf's/wives...''nuts.''

The fact that you talk about her like this...she should dump you and find two hot guys of her own...for a ummm......holiday.

Wink

I will say that I'm not big on relationships, marriage or any of that. I've been in relationships, and prefer dating and having fun, without all the seriousness and work that tend to accompany relationships. Having said that, if you want to be in a relationship, your gf's opinions should come before two random uni chicks. The fact that it seems like you care more about going on a holiday with them, than hanging with your gf...that tells me you should be single.

We have a humorous relationship and our language relating to each other isn't supposed to be taken literally. How does how the people one is going on holiday with make the instance any different? Her opinions come first, doesn't mean I'm going to cancel my trip because of it, I hang with her 90% of the time, she's my only REAL friend. I dedicate everything I do to her, it's just one little thing that I'm doing without her. I haven't had a social life for years, I'm depressed and recluse and have no real friends except her, it just happens that I make friends with girls easier than boys.

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24-04-2015, 03:29 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Right. Thank you to you all, even though I got ripped the shit out of by half of you. I probably deserve that too. And I know it's not easy giving your opinion on a relationship that I can't really write up the background to for you to understand the ins and outs. I'd obviously be pissed in her position, I just can't express to her why she shouldn't be. I mean, basically, I was invited by 2 friends (GENDER ASIDE) that I've been friends with for the same time we've been going out to go on a 3 day trip to the place I am studying with them 2 friends. That's all it is :/ We spoke about it beforehand, I said I'd like to go here but that we could go somewhere else. So to me it feels like she doesn't like me doing things with anybody else except her. I dno.

P.S I know how I type makes me look like a boring, blunt, grammatical idiot... and half of that's true.. but how I write isn't representative of my emotion over this right now

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24-04-2015, 03:34 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Did you tell her that your friends were lesbians? Might be hard to interpret her response though if that just makes her want to go with even more.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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24-04-2015, 03:38 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Is there a 0% chance that either of these two friends might have any sort of feelings beyond friendship with you that they have not shared? Maybe she doesn't get along with them because she is picking up a vibe of some sort that they (or maybe even you) are giving off when you are together. Women are incredibly perceptive of body language and whatnot.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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24-04-2015, 03:39 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:34 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Did you tell her that your friends were lesbians? Might be hard to interpret her response though if that just makes her want to go with even more.

No haha, but she knows they're nothing compared to her. I find it strange that many people here are concentrating on the fact that the two friends are females, I wonder how a lot of people on this thread would have reacted if they were males? :/

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24-04-2015, 03:41 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:39 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:34 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Did you tell her that your friends were lesbians? Might be hard to interpret her response though if that just makes her want to go with even more.

No haha, but she knows they're nothing compared to her. I find it strange that many people here are concentrating on the fact that the two friends are females, I wonder how a lot of people on this thread would have reacted if they were males? :/

If they were straight males, then more than likely there would be a lot less grief directed at you.

Bottom line: people like to have sex, especially on trips with "friends"... so, yeah.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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