Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
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24-04-2015, 03:41 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:38 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  Is there a 0% chance that either of these two friends might have any sort of feelings beyond friendship with you that they have not shared? Maybe she doesn't get along with them because she is picking up a vibe of some sort that they (or maybe even you) are giving off when you are together. Women are incredibly perceptive of body language and whatnot.

She may, but I've tried and tried to show her than I don't give a shit about things like that. It's so hard as a male in situations like this because almost all girls I've spoken to are incredibly sexist and seem to think that because I'm a male I'm sexually motivated. It's simply not the case.

Saints live in flames; wise men, next to them.
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24-04-2015, 03:49 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:39 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:34 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Did you tell her that your friends were lesbians? Might be hard to interpret her response though if that just makes her want to go with even more.

No haha, but she knows they're nothing compared to her. I find it strange that many people here are concentrating on the fact that the two friends are females, I wonder how a lot of people on this thread would have reacted if they were males? :/
My interest is not with regards to who you are going with, but more with regards to who you are not going with.

You speak of it being a holiday (with friends) to an exciting, foreign country. Why wouldn't your gf want to come along too.
You have said you see it as an opportunity to socialise. Again, why wouldn't your gf want to come along too?

I see quite a difference to going to a pub with classmates/workmates and not necessarily inviting the gf because you are going to probably talk shop or gossip about other workmates etc.
But a week-end retreat to a foreign country is something that a person would feel like they are "missing out" on.

You could of course invite your gf, but warn her that you are going to talk shop alot, i.e. geek out about technical aspects of architecture. This is the main purpose of the trip and if she comes she would have to realise that its not always going to be fun for her and she may miss out of seeing some tourist sights that she is interested in. But maybe while you are there she could hook up with the boyfriends of your mates and they might go off on their own and look at tourist sites while you guys admire buildings. In the evenings you could all get together and party at the clubs.
Sounds like an opportunity rather than her cramping you.

But anyway, I don't know the details.
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24-04-2015, 03:50 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:41 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:38 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  Is there a 0% chance that either of these two friends might have any sort of feelings beyond friendship with you that they have not shared? Maybe she doesn't get along with them because she is picking up a vibe of some sort that they (or maybe even you) are giving off when you are together. Women are incredibly perceptive of body language and whatnot.

She may, but I've tried and tried to show her than I don't give a shit about things like that. It's so hard as a male in situations like this because almost all girls I've spoken to are incredibly sexist and seem to think that because I'm a male I'm sexually motivated. It's simply not the case.

I don't think it is about you. I'm just guessing here, but I'd say it has more to do with her not trusting them.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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24-04-2015, 03:54 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:49 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:39 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  No haha, but she knows they're nothing compared to her. I find it strange that many people here are concentrating on the fact that the two friends are females, I wonder how a lot of people on this thread would have reacted if they were males? :/
My interest is not with regards to who you are going with, but more with regards to who you are not going with.

You speak of it being a holiday (with friends) to an exciting, foreign country. Why wouldn't your gf want to come along too.
You have said you see it as an opportunity to socialise. Again, why wouldn't your gf want to come along too?

I see quite a difference to going to a pub with classmates/workmates and not necessarily inviting the gf because you are going to probably talk shop or gossip about other workmates etc.
But a week-end retreat to a foreign country is something that a person would feel like they are "missing out" on.

You could of course invite your gf, but warn her that you are going to talk shop alot, i.e. geek out about technical aspects of architecture. This is the main purpose of the trip and if she comes she would have to realise that its not always going to be fun for her and she may miss out of seeing some tourist sights that she is interested in. But maybe while you are there she could hook up with the boyfriends of your mates and they might go off on their own and look at tourist sites while you guys admire buildings. In the evenings you could all get together and party at the clubs.
Sounds like an opportunity rather than her cramping you.

But anyway, I don't know the details.

That's a reasonable opinion but like somebody else posted on this thread, if somebody invited you to go to Athens, and those two people don't get along with your girlfriend vice versa, (reading like that maybe I shouldn't have accepted) it feels like it's not your place to bring along your girlfriend to a trip you've been invited to yourself. To make sure she didn't feel like it was her fault I've offered to go other places and so on but she doesn't want to. I think she is mainly insulted because I didn't offer to take her anywhere BEFORE I was invited to Athens. She must think that I'm disinterested in travelling with her, Doh. I'm not, though. I just wasn't interested in going abroad beforehand, though we've spoke about it before. It was just spontaneous.

But believe me, she doesn't cramp anything. So far we've traveled the North of England because we couldn't afford abroad and it's freaking ace being on a little adventure with your other half.

Saints live in flames; wise men, next to them.
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24-04-2015, 03:55 PM (This post was last modified: 24-04-2015 03:59 PM by Deidre32.)
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:49 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:39 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  No haha, but she knows they're nothing compared to her. I find it strange that many people here are concentrating on the fact that the two friends are females, I wonder how a lot of people on this thread would have reacted if they were males? :/
My interest is not with regards to who you are going with, but more with regards to who you are not going with.

You speak of it being a holiday (with friends) to an exciting, foreign country. Why wouldn't your gf want to come along too.
You have said you see it as an opportunity to socialise. Again, why wouldn't your gf want to come along too?

I see quite a difference to going to a pub with classmates/workmates and not necessarily inviting the gf because you are going to probably talk shop or gossip about other workmates etc.
But a week-end retreat to a foreign country is something that a person would feel like they are "missing out" on.

You could of course invite your gf, but warn her that you are going to talk shop alot, i.e. geek out about technical aspects of architecture. This is the main purpose of the trip and if she comes she would have to realise that its not always going to be fun for her and she may miss out of seeing some tourist sights that she is interested in. But maybe while you are there she could hook up with the boyfriends of your mates and they might go off on their own and look at tourist sites while you guys admire buildings. In the evenings you could all get together and party at the clubs.
Sounds like an opportunity rather than her cramping you.

But anyway, I don't know the details.

I agree with mostly this. It's not about gender. To me, it's about someone who probably wants to have things both ways...a devoted, loving gf...but also a single life where he doesn't have to care what someone else thinks. If you want to be single, be single. If you want to be in a relationship, it requires concerning yourself with someone else's feelings. If said person is TRULY irrational on a continuous basis, then end the relationship. If the person is reacting in a particular way to one or two ISOLATED situations, that is different.

Comes down to choices.

Either way, again...I'm wary when I hear dudes call their ex gf's or current gf's....'nuts.' Because it's usually not the case when you actually learn both sides of the story. lol

But....I digress. Laugh out load

Be true to yourself. Heart
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24-04-2015, 03:56 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:41 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:38 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  Is there a 0% chance that either of these two friends might have any sort of feelings beyond friendship with you that they have not shared? Maybe she doesn't get along with them because she is picking up a vibe of some sort that they (or maybe even you) are giving off when you are together. Women are incredibly perceptive of body language and whatnot.

She may, but I've tried and tried to show her than I don't give a shit about things like that. It's so hard as a male in situations like this because almost all girls I've spoken to are incredibly sexist and seem to think that because I'm a male I'm sexually motivated. It's simply not the case.

yes, very true
some people have gay-dar, others have "that bitch is trouble"-dar

we can spot the sneaky ones that cant be trusted a mile away.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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24-04-2015, 03:57 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:49 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:39 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  No haha, but she knows they're nothing compared to her. I find it strange that many people here are concentrating on the fact that the two friends are females, I wonder how a lot of people on this thread would have reacted if they were males? :/
My interest is not with regards to who you are going with, but more with regards to who you are not going with.

You speak of it being a holiday (with friends) to an exciting, foreign country. Why wouldn't your gf want to come along too.
You have said you see it as an opportunity to socialise. Again, why wouldn't your gf want to come along too?

I see quite a difference to going to a pub with classmates/workmates and not necessarily inviting the gf because you are going to probably talk shop or gossip about other workmates etc.
But a week-end retreat to a foreign country is something that a person would feel like they are "missing out" on.

You could of course invite your gf, but warn her that you are going to talk shop alot, i.e. geek out about technical aspects of architecture. This is the main purpose of the trip and if she comes she would have to realise that its not always going to be fun for her and she may miss out of seeing some tourist sights that she is interested in. But maybe while you are there she could hook up with the boyfriends of your mates and they might go off on their own and look at tourist sites while you guys admire buildings. In the evenings you could all get together and party at the clubs.
Sounds like an opportunity rather than her cramping you.

But anyway, I don't know the details.

Reasons why the gf isn't being invited:

1. It's not a vacation: It's an educational trip.
2. The people who are planning the thing aren't people she gets along with. They don't like eachother.
3. The expenses favor the 3 of them. Extra expenses to bring someone - who's not going to use it as an educational trip - along, just because they have hurt feeling is foolish.
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24-04-2015, 03:58 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:55 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:49 PM)Stevil Wrote:  My interest is not with regards to who you are going with, but more with regards to who you are not going with.

You speak of it being a holiday (with friends) to an exciting, foreign country. Why wouldn't your gf want to come along too.
You have said you see it as an opportunity to socialise. Again, why wouldn't your gf want to come along too?

I see quite a difference to going to a pub with classmates/workmates and not necessarily inviting the gf because you are going to probably talk shop or gossip about other workmates etc.
But a week-end retreat to a foreign country is something that a person would feel like they are "missing out" on.

You could of course invite your gf, but warn her that you are going to talk shop alot, i.e. geek out about technical aspects of architecture. This is the main purpose of the trip and if she comes she would have to realise that its not always going to be fun for her and she may miss out of seeing some tourist sights that she is interested in. But maybe while you are there she could hook up with the boyfriends of your mates and they might go off on their own and look at tourist sites while you guys admire buildings. In the evenings you could all get together and party at the clubs.
Sounds like an opportunity rather than her cramping you.

But anyway, I don't know the details.

I agree with mostly this. It's not about gender. To me, it's about someone who probably wants to have things both ways...a devoted, loving gf...but also a single life where he doesn't have to care what someone else thinks. If you want to be single, be single. If you want to be in a relationship, it requires concerning yourself with someone else's feelings. If said person is TRULY irrational on a continuous basis, then end the relationship. If the person is reacting in a particular way to one or two ISOLATED situations, that is different.

Comes to down to choices.

That's the most reasonable thing you've said. I think I'm doing a bit of both because I don't want to seem too.. clingy? Is that just an English term for relationships? Because the last one I was in my girlfriend was how I am now, and I was called too clingy and so on so I though that it was me doing something wrong.. that's why this time I've attempted to see her in moderation to not appear this way..

Saints live in flames; wise men, next to them.
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24-04-2015, 04:02 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:56 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:41 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  She may, but I've tried and tried to show her than I don't give a shit about things like that. It's so hard as a male in situations like this because almost all girls I've spoken to are incredibly sexist and seem to think that because I'm a male I'm sexually motivated. It's simply not the case.

yes, very true
some people have gay-dar, others have "that bitch is trouble"-dar

we can spot the sneaky ones that cant be trusted a mile away.

Hahaha that may be why.. It's hard being in between friends and a girlfriend who's friendships I've been involved in equally.

Saints live in flames; wise men, next to them.
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24-04-2015, 04:02 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
And if your gf was writing her side of the story...I'd recommend to her, not to place the value of herself as to what a dude will do or won't do for her. I will admit, she sounds like she has some security issues, based on what little is posted here. So many women allow men to dictate how they feel about themselves. If the OP doesn't go on this trip...she will suddenly feel validated?

Date and have fun. No drama. Wink

Be true to yourself. Heart
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