Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
24-04-2015, 04:08 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:58 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:55 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  I agree with mostly this. It's not about gender. To me, it's about someone who probably wants to have things both ways...a devoted, loving gf...but also a single life where he doesn't have to care what someone else thinks. If you want to be single, be single. If you want to be in a relationship, it requires concerning yourself with someone else's feelings. If said person is TRULY irrational on a continuous basis, then end the relationship. If the person is reacting in a particular way to one or two ISOLATED situations, that is different.

Comes to down to choices.

That's the most reasonable thing you've said. I think I'm doing a bit of both because I don't want to seem too.. clingy? Is that just an English term for relationships? Because the last one I was in my girlfriend was how I am now, and I was called too clingy and so on so I though that it was me doing something wrong.. that's why this time I've attempted to see her in moderation to not appear this way..

I apologize for my attitude earlier. Cool I shouldn't allow my disdain for relationships to come out into your thread. Tongue

Having said that...this is the most sensible thing YOU have said. lol I like your candor...now, we can understand more of what's going on.

Yes, clingy is the correct term. I understand where you are coming from, now. I think you should talk it out with your gf, as you know her best. I offer you this advice though...if your gf makes a lot of demands on you, it will only get worse. If this is an isolated incident, then you have to decide if she is worth not going on the trip for.

Trips come and go. If you have found true love...that doesn't come around every day. I have loved and lost...out of my own pride, and I say this to you in kindness.

Life is filled with choices. We can't have everything, I wish we could! Smile

Be true to yourself. Heart
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-04-2015, 04:10 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
I really hope you post a follow up to this thread after you return from your trip.


I love drama (when its not mine) Angel







oh we all do, and they've been making movies and writing books about others people's drama for centuries. Wink


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Bows and Arrows's post
24-04-2015, 04:24 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:54 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  if somebody invited you to go to Athens, and those two people don't get along with your girlfriend vice versa, (reading like that maybe I shouldn't have accepted) it feels like it's not your place to bring along your girlfriend to a trip you've been invited to yourself.
Have your friends asked you not to bring the gf along?
Do they go at it cats and dogs or is it possible they can be polite with each other.
If things are uncomfortable you'd think your own gf would suggest that she ain't interested in going but would like an overseas trip with you at some other time.

(24-04-2015 03:54 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  To make sure she didn't feel like it was her fault I've offered to go other places and so on but she doesn't want to. I think she is mainly insulted because I didn't offer to take her anywhere BEFORE I was invited to Athens. She must think that I'm disinterested in travelling with her, Doh. I'm not, though. I just wasn't interested in going abroad beforehand, though we've spoke about it before. It was just spontaneous.
This is interesting. Perhaps you have rejected her past ideas of overseas travel but now jump at the opportunity to go on an overseas trip with others. I can see why she would feel insecure. Why wouldn't you want to go on an overseas trip specifically with her?
Now that you are offering her, is this as a cover up to allow you to go on this trip with these other people? It shows that this trip with your friends means so much to you that you are willing to pay the price and do a similar trip with your GF, which you wouldn't have otherwise done.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-04-2015, 04:33 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:41 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  It's so hard as a male in situations like this because almost all girls I've spoken to are incredibly sexist and seem to think that because I'm a male I'm sexually motivated.

It's not them. It's you.

#sigh
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-04-2015, 04:38 PM (This post was last modified: 24-04-2015 04:47 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:41 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:39 PM)SunnyD1 Wrote:  No haha, but she knows they're nothing compared to her. I find it strange that many people here are concentrating on the fact that the two friends are females, I wonder how a lot of people on this thread would have reacted if they were males? :/

If they were straight males, then more than likely there would be a lot less grief directed at you.

You're not married are you. When I went away for a weekend with the fellas ManlyGirl says, "Who you going with?" "George and his boyfriend." "Gonna cruise gay bars?" "Probably." "Well there goes any chance of you getting laid fatboy. Have fun."

Going on holiday without her with 2 straight men? Even GirlyMan would be thinking hookers and blow.

#sigh
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes GirlyMan's post
24-04-2015, 04:47 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:57 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:49 PM)Stevil Wrote:  My interest is not with regards to who you are going with, but more with regards to who you are not going with.

You speak of it being a holiday (with friends) to an exciting, foreign country. Why wouldn't your gf want to come along too.
You have said you see it as an opportunity to socialise. Again, why wouldn't your gf want to come along too?

I see quite a difference to going to a pub with classmates/workmates and not necessarily inviting the gf because you are going to probably talk shop or gossip about other workmates etc.
But a week-end retreat to a foreign country is something that a person would feel like they are "missing out" on.

You could of course invite your gf, but warn her that you are going to talk shop alot, i.e. geek out about technical aspects of architecture. This is the main purpose of the trip and if she comes she would have to realise that its not always going to be fun for her and she may miss out of seeing some tourist sights that she is interested in. But maybe while you are there she could hook up with the boyfriends of your mates and they might go off on their own and look at tourist sites while you guys admire buildings. In the evenings you could all get together and party at the clubs.
Sounds like an opportunity rather than her cramping you.

But anyway, I don't know the details.

Reasons why the gf isn't being invited:

1. It's not a vacation: It's an educational trip.
2. The people who are planning the thing aren't people she gets along with. They don't like eachother.
3. The expenses favor the 3 of them. Extra expenses to bring someone - who's not going to use it as an educational trip - along, just because they have hurt feeling is foolish.

I agree with this, buuuuut....doing foolish things can be worth it if you love the person. When it's not a major inconvenience, and it's for someone you love, you make concessions to make them happy even if it's silly.

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-04-2015, 06:33 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:50 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  I don't think it is about you. I'm just guessing here, but I'd say it has more to do with her not trusting them.

Which in turn would mean it would have to be about not trusting him, cause even if they do have feelings for him, for anything to actually happen besides some very awkward moments he'd still need to give in.

Unless she thinks these girls are willing to do really bad things. Confused

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-04-2015, 06:33 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 03:55 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  I agree with mostly this. It's not about gender. To me, it's about someone who probably wants to have things both ways...a devoted, loving gf...but also a single life where he doesn't have to care what someone else thinks.
I disagree that being in a relationship means sacrificing your individuality for your partner. I also disagree that him going despite her being unhappy about it means he doesn't care what she thinks.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Adrianime's post
24-04-2015, 07:03 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
(24-04-2015 06:33 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(24-04-2015 03:55 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  I agree with mostly this. It's not about gender. To me, it's about someone who probably wants to have things both ways...a devoted, loving gf...but also a single life where he doesn't have to care what someone else thinks.
I disagree that being in a relationship means sacrificing your individuality for your partner. I also disagree that him going despite her being unhappy about it means he doesn't care what she thinks.

You're not dating him, though...she is. Laugh out load All that matters is what she thinks. If he doesn't like it, he can leave. If she doesn't like him going, she can leave.

No one is ever a prisoner in a relationship. Everyone can stay or leave depending on what they wish to accept in a relationship. I will say no one should stay in an unhappy relationship...and we don't define for others what that is.

Be true to yourself. Heart
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-04-2015, 08:26 PM
RE: Going on holiday without girlfriend.. she's gone nuts
This conversation/event seems FAR from something that should end a relationship. I don't even think ending it should even put on the table as feedback.

...but that's just me.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Adrianime's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: