Going to far... Denying communication
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12-06-2012, 02:15 PM
Going to far... Denying communication
I am not exactly sure where to put this so... Bear with me.
As some of you are aware, I am a fifteen year old atheist who was adopted from Russia by two fudementalist Christians. (My story is in the introduce yourself HERE thread.)


Allow me, if you will, to explain... And rant?..


Just a few minutes ago... I was told that I can't communicate with my real parents. My mother has put her foot down, and has flatly denied me something I have been looking forward to. I...I don't think that this is rational, or even understandable from their position. When I came out to my parents, I didn't think this would happen... I thought they would understand, and maybe try to help me, in an understanding and loving way, in knowing the evidence their beliefs have ( there is none.)


I don't think they really hate me... At least I know my father doesn't, regardless of his religious disposition... But this is just too much....


I can't describe the emotions running through my system right now...


Also, I wanted to thank all of you. Erxomai, in particular, is really amusing. He made me laugh even though I was feeling down. Sorry if that seemed a bit out of place, but It's true. I hope that I can become a bit more learned from this Community, and that I can provide some nice insights.


Atothetheist, AKA Steven.

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12-06-2012, 02:18 PM
RE: Going to far... Denying communication
Shit. That sucks balls. Sorry man.
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12-06-2012, 02:22 PM
RE: Going to far... Denying communication
Steven,

My sister was given up for adoption by my mom. I never knew she existed until I was 16. I guess that puts me on the other end of the spectrum, but I get your pain just the same. I met my sis a year later, and we are now as close as any siblings can be.

My point is, as hard as it may seem, it may be best to just be patient. In time the choice will be yours, and when you make that choice it will help you grow as an individual. It sucks, but sometimes it's just the way ithas to be.

If you ever need an understanding ear, please feel free to bend mine.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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12-06-2012, 02:33 PM
RE: Going to far... Denying communication
When times get tough, my advise: Start counting. You're fifteen, and three years till adulthood may seem like a really long time, but if you just count, make plans, and think to the future when times are tough and out of your control, you will get through it.

I remember two months ago, I almost had to move out of my house because my father was just unbearably abrasive (and I consider myself rather patient). I stood firm though, remember to maintain your purpose when you are having an important conversation, and don't let your emotions over-rule you (if you are headstrong like me, this may be a bit tough). I did that with my father, and our relationship is significantly better than it ever was in the 18 years I lived with him. Now I'm a month away from leaving, and I have no thoughts of leaving any sooner.

Just keep strong, and don't lose your future. My sister was not like me with my father and she moved out in the middle of the night without any plans, she is currently on welfare with 3 kids, two fathers in jail, and over 100,000 dollars in debt. Think with your head, feel with your heart, and NEVER mix up the two.
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12-06-2012, 02:50 PM
RE: Going to far... Denying communication
I think the "It Gets Better" campaign is an amazing project for LGBT teens. It might not be a terrible idea to check out some of their info and replace "coming out as Gay" with "coming out as an Atheist."
The extra bonus to this idea is, if it turns out you really are gay, then you'll be helped with two issues for the price of 1!!!
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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12-06-2012, 02:53 PM
RE: Going to far... Denying communication
(12-06-2012 02:50 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  I think the "It Gets Better" campaign is an amazing project for LGBT teens. It might not be a terrible idea to check out some of their info and replace "coming out as Gay" with "coming out as an Atheist."
The extra bonus to this idea is, if it turns out you really are gay, then you'll be helped with two issues for the price of 1!!!
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
Definatly not gay. Lol

*shifts eyes*

Srs.....


I think.

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12-06-2012, 03:19 PM
RE: Going to far... Denying communication
Haha, he does have a point, except being an atheist is less publicly acceptable than being gay for the most part (fucking bigots).
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12-06-2012, 03:25 PM
RE: Going to far... Denying communication
(12-06-2012 02:53 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  
(12-06-2012 02:50 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  I think the "It Gets Better" campaign is an amazing project for LGBT teens. It might not be a terrible idea to check out some of their info and replace "coming out as Gay" with "coming out as an Atheist."
The extra bonus to this idea is, if it turns out you really are gay, then you'll be helped with two issues for the price of 1!!!
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
Definatly not gay. Lol

*shifts eyes*

Srs.....


I think.


Not that there's anything wrong with that...

But yeah, you're supposed to adapt the idea to your own situation. Big Grin

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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12-06-2012, 03:28 PM
RE: Going to far... Denying communication
(12-06-2012 03:25 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(12-06-2012 02:53 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  Definatly not gay. Lol

*shifts eyes*

Srs.....


I think.


Not that there's anything wrong with that...

But yeah, you're supposed to adapt the idea to your own situation. Big Grin
Alright...

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12-06-2012, 08:22 PM
RE: Going to far... Denying communication
Hey, Steven.

Please forgive what is inevitably going to sound like the ramblings of a retarded man, but I don't quite follow.

Which mother put her foot down? Your adoptive mother said you can't speak to your birth mother, or your birth mother said she doesn't want to talk to you? And whichever of the two it is, what exactly is the reason? Is it your birth mother punishing you for being an Atheist? If so, is she afraid of exposing you to her or something?

I know you're wound up, but I gotta figure that the people who raised you for 15 years don't hate you. You guys might be fighting, but that doesn't necessarily mean the sky is falling. That's my gut talking, but you're in it. If they've gone off the deep end, well, that that's just shitty. My hope is that I'm right about that one Cool

And, homey... you're 15. I know it might seem like a lot to bear/deal with, but you're young and durable. That's a compliment. I'm old and fragile lol. You can make it through this no matter the outcome. Trust me. Better yet, trust yourself.

I post the following video not to diminish the gravity of what you're going through. I get it, brother (well I didn't actually get it cuz I'm retarded, but I get "it", like, that it's rough... Jeebus Christ I'm tired). I post this for two reasons. 1 - to put things into perspective, a la, you'll look back on this in 20 years and think, in hindsight, that it ain't no thing but a chicken wing, and 2 - because it's fucking funny and you sound like you could use a laugh.





So yeah, take the good advice from all those non-retarded people that totally understood your situation and, if you have the wherewithal, try to explain it to us functionally retarded folks lol.

Just remember, whatever you're going through, however rough it gets, keep reaching out. It'll help.

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
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