Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
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06-10-2014, 12:38 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 10:39 AM)Winterwolf00 Wrote:  Okay so I've been with my current gf for 10 months now and I swear I'm in love with this woman.

Her family is Pentacostal and doesn't exactly approve of her dating an open atheist (they don't know she's left the faith to), but her mother is going to give me a chance to meet me.

So I'm going to be flying to Tennessee this New Years to spend a week with her family, her mother approved this on one condition.

She wants me to go through a Bible study session with a friend of the family's (who amusingly enough shares my first name, Cory)

So I just want to ask if there's any advice I could get on this?
I really love this woman and if this is what I have to do for her family to accept me then so be it.

It is up to you what you do. But I can tell you being 48 having been through rejection of girls/women, and dating and marriage, if you are going to be in a relationship with that kind of difference, you better have some communication skills in order to deal with that in a civil manor.

Love is a very normal emotion, but it can also lead you to irrational behavior too. It is actually better to be alone than be in an unhealthy relationship. I am not saying don't date her, but be willing to be pragmatic, and employ good communication skills.

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06-10-2014, 12:42 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 12:29 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  If a relationship (the "success" of it) relies on compromising your values, it's the wrong relationship. And it won't end there.

Just my take. No dude is worth me compromising my core beliefs.

I hope you stay true to you. Having said that above, it's a tough spot.
Best of luck with it.

See though I'm not compromising anything, I'm not changing my beliefs or being asked to.
I am humoring this person to participate in a bible study session and take the opportunity to show them where I stand.

Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”

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06-10-2014, 12:44 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 12:38 PM)Brian37 Wrote:  
(06-10-2014 10:39 AM)Winterwolf00 Wrote:  Okay so I've been with my current gf for 10 months now and I swear I'm in love with this woman.

Her family is Pentacostal and doesn't exactly approve of her dating an open atheist (they don't know she's left the faith to), but her mother is going to give me a chance to meet me.

So I'm going to be flying to Tennessee this New Years to spend a week with her family, her mother approved this on one condition.

She wants me to go through a Bible study session with a friend of the family's (who amusingly enough shares my first name, Cory)

So I just want to ask if there's any advice I could get on this?
I really love this woman and if this is what I have to do for her family to accept me then so be it.

It is up to you what you do. But I can tell you being 48 having been through rejection of girls/women, and dating and marriage, if you are going to be in a relationship with that kind of difference, you better have some communication skills in order to deal with that in a civil manor.

Love is a very normal emotion, but it can also lead you to irrational behavior too. It is actually better to be alone than be in an unhealthy relationship. I am not saying don't date her, but be willing to be pragmatic, and employ good communication skills.
Let me reiterate something, my gf and I are both non-believers, her family just doesn't know about her yet.
She wants her family to accept me and I'd like that to, but I won't change my beliefs for THEM and she wouldn't want me to anyway.

Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”

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06-10-2014, 12:48 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 12:29 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  If a relationship (the "success" of it) relies on compromising your values, it's the wrong relationship. And it won't end there.

Just my take. No dude is worth me compromising my core beliefs.

I hope you stay true to you. Having said that above, it's a tough spot.
Best of luck with it.

My gf has basically said that she wants her family to accept me, but that their approval isn't required for her.

Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”

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06-10-2014, 12:53 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 12:42 PM)Winterwolf00 Wrote:  
(06-10-2014 12:29 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  If a relationship (the "success" of it) relies on compromising your values, it's the wrong relationship. And it won't end there.

Just my take. No dude is worth me compromising my core beliefs.

I hope you stay true to you. Having said that above, it's a tough spot.
Best of luck with it.

See though I'm not compromising anything, I'm not changing my beliefs or being asked to.
I am humoring this person to participate in a bible study session and take the opportunity to show them where I stand.

Why do it at all? You're not sincerely interested so why pretend? Sometimes it is better to be truthful and decline than go through the motions and be fake. This is my opinion.

I don't see this going well. Lol Blush

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06-10-2014, 12:57 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 12:53 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  
(06-10-2014 12:42 PM)Winterwolf00 Wrote:  See though I'm not compromising anything, I'm not changing my beliefs or being asked to.
I am humoring this person to participate in a bible study session and take the opportunity to show them where I stand.

Why do it at all? You're not sincerely interested so why pretend? Sometimes it is better to be truthful and decline than go through the motions and be fake. This is my opinion.

I don't see this going well. Lol Blush
Fake about what?
I'm open about my atheism, I'm also open to a bible study with someone who my gf vouches for.
I have these discussions with my roommate everyday, I'm not afraid to have it again.

Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”

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06-10-2014, 01:05 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 10:39 AM)Winterwolf00 Wrote:  So I'm going to be flying to Tennessee this New Years to spend a week with her family, her mother approved this on one condition.

That's the only condition?

I'm surprised she didn't insist on separate bedrooms too... Consider

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06-10-2014, 01:09 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 01:05 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  
(06-10-2014 10:39 AM)Winterwolf00 Wrote:  So I'm going to be flying to Tennessee this New Years to spend a week with her family, her mother approved this on one condition.

That's the only condition?

I'm surprised she didn't insist on separate bedrooms too... Consider
Oh yeah there's that to.
You know, afterthought.

Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”

― Gordon R. Dickson
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06-10-2014, 01:11 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 12:29 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  If a relationship (the "success" of it) relies on compromising your values, it's the wrong relationship. And it won't end there.

Just my take. No dude is worth me compromising my core beliefs.

I hope you stay true to you. Having said that above, it's a tough spot.
Best of luck with it.

It does not sound as if the gf is the problem. But, it might be enlightening for the OP to observe her inter-reaction with her family up close and personal.

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06-10-2014, 01:14 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(06-10-2014 01:09 PM)Winterwolf00 Wrote:  
(06-10-2014 01:05 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  That's the only condition?

I'm surprised she didn't insist on separate bedrooms too... Consider
Oh yeah there's that to.
You know, afterthought.

That's no surprise. How old are you two?

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