Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
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09-10-2014, 03:18 PM (This post was last modified: 09-10-2014 04:27 PM by AutumnWolf000.)
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
I'm sorry that it's taken me a bit to be able to actually jump into this conversation. I was having some issues with registering. I wanted to clear up a few things. First, hello everyone, I'm the beforementioned girlfriend.

Ok, so for starters, I wanted to clarify that I'm not really looking for my family's approval. And though Winter would like for them to accept him, and I think it would be nice if they would, I don't have to have that. I'm grateful to my family for opening up their home and to him for being willing to compromise to do this for me. I know that there's the likelihood that they still won't approve when he doesn't change--but for me, it's not about their approval. I just want them to be willing to meet him. Once they meet him, what they think doesn't matter. Yes, it would make things much easier around the holidays--but for me that's not a requirement. I simply want them to meet him so that they have the chance to see how awesome of a person he is, and see how much I care for him.

Secondly, I wanted to clarify that while yes, my family is Pentecostal--not all Pentecostals are "snake-handlers" so he will be safe. And while they might be a little crazy, my family isn't THAT bad! lol

Third, I wanted to address the question of "if they're so fair, why does she hide her atheism from them?"
--At this point, I'm not even sure what I am... I suppose if I had to put a label on it, I would say more Agnostic than Atheist, but all around confused. Cognitive Dissonance is definitely an issue I'm having to deal with on a daily basis. That being said, if I'm not even sure what I believe or don't believe, how am I supposed to say anything to them? That would only be giving them false hope that there's still a chance that I would go back to Christianity. That's not an option for me.
--When I first started dating Winter, I was a very Devout Christian. My family wasn't happy that my new boyfriend wasn't a believer, and were very open to tell me as much. They were so afraid that he would, as they said, "Pull me away from God." While yes, I am no longer claiming to worship or even believe in the God that they "serve"--it wasn't Winter who made me start doubting. It was my own research and opinion that brought that about. So, that being said, I don't want my family's first impression of Winter to be skewed because they think that he's pulled me away from God. The LAST thing that I want is for them to blame him for something that's nowhere near his fault... I'm planning on telling my family eventually. And when I do, I know they're going to blame him no matter what. I just don't want their first time meeting him to be overshadowed by something that's going to break their hearts.


Lastly, As far as the option of a hotel, the nearest hotel to my family is nearly an hours drive away... So that's not really an option... Especially with gas prices being so high... Otherwise, I would have preferred to do that myself. Big Grin

I think that about sums it up for now... I know this situation isn't going to be easy for either of us... But I'm more than willing to hear any advice that anyone might have.
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09-10-2014, 04:24 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(09-10-2014 03:18 PM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  I'm sorry that it's taken me a bit to be able to actually jump into this conversation. I was having some issues with registering. I wanted to clear up a few things. First, hello everyone, I'm the beforementioned girlfriend.

Ok, so for starters, I wanted to clarify that I'm not really looking for my family's approval. And though Winter would like for them to accept him, and I think it would be nice if they would, I don't have to have that. I'm grateful to my family for opening up their home and to him for being willing to compromise to do this for me. I know that there's the likelihood that they still won't approve when he doesn't change--but for me, it's not about their approval. I just want them to be willing to meet him. Once they meet him, what they think doesn't matter. Yes, it would make things much easier around the holidays--but for me that's not a requirement. I simply want them to meet him so that they have the chance to see how awesome of a person he is, and see how much I care for him.

Secondly, I wanted to clarify that while yes, my family is Pentecostal--not all Pentecostals are "snake-handlers" so he will be safe. And while they might be a little crazy, my family isn't THAT bad! lol

Third, I wanted to address the question of "if they're so fair, why does she hide her atheism from them?"
--At this point, I'm not even sure what I am... I suppose if I had to put a label on it, I would say more Agnostic than Atheist, but all around confused. Cognitive Dissonance is definitely an issue I'm having to deal with on a daily basis. That being said, if I'm not even sure what I believe or don't believe, how am I supposed to say anything to them? That would only be giving them false hope that there's still a chance that I would go back to Christianity. That's not an option for me.
--When I first started dating Winter, I was a very Devout Christian. My family wasn't happy that my new boyfriend wasn't a believer, and were very open to tell me as much. They were so afraid that he would, as they said, "Pull me away from God." While yes, I am no longer claiming to worship or even believe in the God that they "serve"--it wasn't Winter who made me start doubting. It was my own research and opinion that brought that about. So, that being said, I don't want my family's first impression of Winter to be skewed because they think that he's pulled me away from God. The LAST thing that I want is for them to blame him for something that's nowhere near his fault... I'm planning on telling my family eventually. And when I do, I know they're going to blame him no matter what. I just don't want their first time meeting him to be overshadowed by something that's going to break their hearts.
--As far as the option of a hotel, the nearest hotel to my family is nearly an hours drive away... So that's not really an option... Especially with gas prices being so high... Otherwise, I would have preferred to do that myself. Big Grin

I think that about sums it up for now... I know this situation isn't going to be easy for either of us... But I'm more than willing to hear any advice that anyone might have.
Hello love, glad to see you here.Heart

Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”

― Gordon R. Dickson
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09-10-2014, 04:26 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(09-10-2014 04:24 PM)Winterwolf00 Wrote:  Hello love, glad to see you here.Heart

Ello Dear. :*
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09-10-2014, 04:34 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(09-10-2014 04:26 PM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  
(09-10-2014 04:24 PM)Winterwolf00 Wrote:  Hello love, glad to see you here.Heart

Ello Dear. :*

Hey! Get a room you two!

Oh...wait...we already covered the hotel issue. Never mind. .. Wink

Welcome to the forum!

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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09-10-2014, 04:45 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(09-10-2014 04:34 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  Hey! Get a room you two!

Oh...wait...we already covered the hotel issue. Never mind. .. Wink

Welcome to the forum!

haha... thank you very much! I'm glad to be here! I'm looking forward to getting on a system somewhere without all of these school's firewalls so that I can actually watch all these videos. They promise to be very funny.
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09-10-2014, 09:58 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(09-10-2014 03:18 PM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  I'm sorry that it's taken me a bit to be able to actually jump into this conversation. I was having some issues with registering. I wanted to clear up a few things. First, hello everyone, I'm the beforementioned girlfriend.

Ok, so for starters, I wanted to clarify that I'm not really looking for my family's approval. And though Winter would like for them to accept him, and I think it would be nice if they would, I don't have to have that. I'm grateful to my family for opening up their home and to him for being willing to compromise to do this for me. I know that there's the likelihood that they still won't approve when he doesn't change--but for me, it's not about their approval. I just want them to be willing to meet him. Once they meet him, what they think doesn't matter. Yes, it would make things much easier around the holidays--but for me that's not a requirement. I simply want them to meet him so that they have the chance to see how awesome of a person he is, and see how much I care for him.

Secondly, I wanted to clarify that while yes, my family is Pentecostal--not all Pentecostals are "snake-handlers" so he will be safe. And while they might be a little crazy, my family isn't THAT bad! lol

Third, I wanted to address the question of "if they're so fair, why does she hide her atheism from them?"
--At this point, I'm not even sure what I am... I suppose if I had to put a label on it, I would say more Agnostic than Atheist, but all around confused. Cognitive Dissonance is definitely an issue I'm having to deal with on a daily basis. That being said, if I'm not even sure what I believe or don't believe, how am I supposed to say anything to them? That would only be giving them false hope that there's still a chance that I would go back to Christianity. That's not an option for me.
--When I first started dating Winter, I was a very Devout Christian. My family wasn't happy that my new boyfriend wasn't a believer, and were very open to tell me as much. They were so afraid that he would, as they said, "Pull me away from God." While yes, I am no longer claiming to worship or even believe in the God that they "serve"--it wasn't Winter who made me start doubting. It was my own research and opinion that brought that about. So, that being said, I don't want my family's first impression of Winter to be skewed because they think that he's pulled me away from God. The LAST thing that I want is for them to blame him for something that's nowhere near his fault... I'm planning on telling my family eventually. And when I do, I know they're going to blame him no matter what. I just don't want their first time meeting him to be overshadowed by something that's going to break their hearts.


Lastly, As far as the option of a hotel, the nearest hotel to my family is nearly an hours drive away... So that's not really an option... Especially with gas prices being so high... Otherwise, I would have preferred to do that myself. Big Grin

I think that about sums it up for now... I know this situation isn't going to be easy for either of us... But I'm more than willing to hear any advice that anyone might have.

Welcome to the forum, and thank you for your clear statement.

If you stick around, we can help you clarify your postiion; that is one of the main purposes of this forum.

Out of interest, how old are you kids? Consider

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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10-10-2014, 02:00 AM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(09-10-2014 09:58 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(09-10-2014 03:18 PM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  I'm sorry that it's taken me a bit to be able to actually jump into this conversation. I was having some issues with registering. I wanted to clear up a few things. First, hello everyone, I'm the beforementioned girlfriend.

Ok, so for starters, I wanted to clarify that I'm not really looking for my family's approval. And though Winter would like for them to accept him, and I think it would be nice if they would, I don't have to have that. I'm grateful to my family for opening up their home and to him for being willing to compromise to do this for me. I know that there's the likelihood that they still won't approve when he doesn't change--but for me, it's not about their approval. I just want them to be willing to meet him. Once they meet him, what they think doesn't matter. Yes, it would make things much easier around the holidays--but for me that's not a requirement. I simply want them to meet him so that they have the chance to see how awesome of a person he is, and see how much I care for him.

Secondly, I wanted to clarify that while yes, my family is Pentecostal--not all Pentecostals are "snake-handlers" so he will be safe. And while they might be a little crazy, my family isn't THAT bad! lol

Third, I wanted to address the question of "if they're so fair, why does she hide her atheism from them?"
--At this point, I'm not even sure what I am... I suppose if I had to put a label on it, I would say more Agnostic than Atheist, but all around confused. Cognitive Dissonance is definitely an issue I'm having to deal with on a daily basis. That being said, if I'm not even sure what I believe or don't believe, how am I supposed to say anything to them? That would only be giving them false hope that there's still a chance that I would go back to Christianity. That's not an option for me.
--When I first started dating Winter, I was a very Devout Christian. My family wasn't happy that my new boyfriend wasn't a believer, and were very open to tell me as much. They were so afraid that he would, as they said, "Pull me away from God." While yes, I am no longer claiming to worship or even believe in the God that they "serve"--it wasn't Winter who made me start doubting. It was my own research and opinion that brought that about. So, that being said, I don't want my family's first impression of Winter to be skewed because they think that he's pulled me away from God. The LAST thing that I want is for them to blame him for something that's nowhere near his fault... I'm planning on telling my family eventually. And when I do, I know they're going to blame him no matter what. I just don't want their first time meeting him to be overshadowed by something that's going to break their hearts.


Lastly, As far as the option of a hotel, the nearest hotel to my family is nearly an hours drive away... So that's not really an option... Especially with gas prices being so high... Otherwise, I would have preferred to do that myself. Big Grin

I think that about sums it up for now... I know this situation isn't going to be easy for either of us... But I'm more than willing to hear any advice that anyone might have.

Welcome to the forum, and thank you for your clear statement.

If you stick around, we can help you clarify your postiion; that is one of the main purposes of this forum.

Out of interest, how old are you kids? Consider

And are you now, or have you ever been, on Chas's lawn?

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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10-10-2014, 07:21 AM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
I plan on sticking around. I'm not big on putting specifics on the internet, but we are both in early/mid 20s. I'm2 years older than winter. And if I've ever been on chas's lawn it was purely by accident! Lol
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10-10-2014, 08:48 AM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(10-10-2014 07:21 AM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  I plan on sticking around. I'm not big on putting specifics on the internet, but we are both in early/mid 20s. I'm2 years older than winter. And if I've ever been on chas's lawn it was purely by accident! Lol

Be sure you stay off. Angry

Seriously, though, I was asking because my opinion of how to handle it would not be the same for all age ranges, 18-ish vs. 23-ish, say.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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10-10-2014, 11:42 AM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(10-10-2014 08:48 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(10-10-2014 07:21 AM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  I plan on sticking around. I'm not big on putting specifics on the internet, but we are both in early/mid 20s. I'm2 years older than winter. And if I've ever been on chas's lawn it was purely by accident! Lol

Be sure you stay off. Angry

Seriously, though, I was asking because my opinion of how to handle it would not be the same for all age ranges, 18-ish vs. 23-ish, say.

We're both responsible young adults if that answers your question.

Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”

― Gordon R. Dickson
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