Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
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13-10-2014, 08:10 AM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(10-10-2014 09:08 PM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  [quotbelievee='Full Circle' pid='662416' dateline='1412986228']
(10-10-2014 05:25 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Hmm, did they say anything about marriage? That's an incredibly awkward post if they haven't.

Easily reworded to leave out the part about marriage Dodgy

(10-10-2014 09:08 PM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  1. I believe winter would be the one writing the letter. I haven't had the issue with his parents add he may have with mine. He says that they love me

2. We've actually been talking about the possibility of marriage for a few months now. Sup not THAT awkward.

3. I like the wording of it. We will take that into serious consideration. Because it might work...

The gist is what I was striving for, you need to modify it as applicable.

As others have already said be very polite BUT also be strong in your stance. I can assure you that once you or WW begin to acquiesce to their suggestions (read demands) it'll only escalate/degenerate.

"Thank you for your concern, I'll take it into consideration...now how about that apple pie you said was for dessert?"

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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13-10-2014, 08:33 AM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
Consider What people do for love. Interesting thread.

Be true to yourself. Heart
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13-10-2014, 10:14 AM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(13-10-2014 08:33 AM)Deidre32 Wrote:  Consider What people do for love. Interesting thread.

Indeed. Heart

Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”

― Gordon R. Dickson
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13-10-2014, 09:54 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(13-10-2014 06:21 AM)monkeygirl Wrote:  I'm sure that this goes without saying but you need to be the nicest, most polite and pleasant houseguest ever.

Take flowers for Autumn's mum, admire her garden/house. Help clear the table/wash the dishes. If you decide to meet the pastor don't get into an argument. You know the things to say, but after you've met him compliment him to the family - e.g "that was a really interesting discussion although we had to agree to disagree, it was nice to meet him ....you have obviously known each other for years, it's good to know that you have close friends who care for and support each other" etc.
If you have examples from your own life use them - if you have friends that you've had since primary school talk about them, talk about where you're from, your own community and how you and your family are part of that.

I don't know how many atheists Autumn's parents have met, but if they are expecting someone who's going to drag their precious daughter off to a life of debauchery and sin make sure they get the opposite. They probably are scared, and worried for their daughter so the best thing you can do is show them how polite, mature, kind and concerned with her wellbeing you are. if they are good people (and they can't be that bad because you've fallen in love with their daughter) they will like you for you and the religion thing will seem less of an issue.

Good Luck.

I've been telling winter the same thing for a while now. I tell him to just continue being the man I fell in love with. I want them to see the amazingly sweet young man I've grown to love over the past year. I want them to see how much he respects me, how well we work together.I want them to see exactly how great of a guy they're wanting me to leave behind just because he doesn't worship a god they can't prove exists. If they still hold to their opinion that he isn't right for me, then we will have to agree to disagree. But at least they won't be blind to the wonderful relationship that I've been lucky enough to have the chance to build with him.
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14-10-2014, 05:09 AM (This post was last modified: 14-10-2014 05:13 AM by Bows and Arrows.)
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(13-10-2014 09:54 PM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  I want them to see exactly how great of a guy they're wanting me to leave behind just because he doesn't worship a god they can't prove exists.

wait a minute- was this in the OP? I was under the impression this was a "meet n greet", not a "try to change their minds."

Consider
This changes things, IMO.

Have they asked you to leave him?

if so, then realize there will never be enough hoops for him to jump through - no matter how many bible classes, no matter how many bouquets of flowers, no matter how nice and kind and perfect--there will always be the hoop labeled " I believe" that will never be checked off.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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14-10-2014, 10:23 AM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
(14-10-2014 05:09 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(13-10-2014 09:54 PM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  I want them to see exactly how great of a guy they're wanting me to leave behind just because he doesn't worship a god they can't prove exists.

wait a minute- was this in the OP? I was under the impression this was a "meet n greet", not a "try to change their minds."

Consider
This changes things, IMO.

Have they asked you to leave him?

if so, then realize there will never be enough hoops for him to jump through - no matter how many bible classes, no matter how many bouquets of flowers, no matter how nice and kind and perfect--there will always be the hoop labeled " I believe" that will never be checked off.
They haven't asked no, most are a bit uncomfortable with me being her bf but only her aunt refuses to meet me, the rest want to.

Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”

― Gordon R. Dickson
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14-10-2014, 10:58 AM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
Hope it goes well. None of my gf's extended family has mentioned religion around me. I don't know what they know about me actually. It's actually pretty vague what my gf's parents even know about my beliefs. We don't talk about it, and I'm fine with that. Can't fully imagine how it would feel if they made a big deal about it. But I know there was a period of time where her parents thought I was Christian, and that felt crappy.

Good luck!

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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14-10-2014, 08:52 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
they haven't asked. It was more implied that an atheist isn't good enough for their daughter.I just want them to see that not all atheists are bad people.in the same way that not all Christians are good people. Most of both groups are just people trying to make their way in this world. Just because some people take a different path doesn't mean they aren't trying to get to the same destination.everyone has their own version of utopia that they are striving to reach.for the Christians it's heaven.for most others, it's just a place they can be happy. For me, I'm happy with winter.never been happier. That's what I want my family to see.that for the first time after being through an abusive relationship where I was lied to, cheated on and blackmailed, after putting up with a dad whose faults I won't even start to list because they are too many to mention, after being attacked twice in high school, after flunking out of college, after getting to the point where I wanted to end my life, I'm actually happy. And I'm a better person after all that.
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19-10-2014, 12:31 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
I knew such a couple. Her folk didn't approve but they married anyway. At first she didn't seem interested in the beliefs she'd grown up in. By the third year she was succumbing more and more to her parents influences. The marriage starting going down hill and by the fifth year it was disastrous. The fellow had tried going along but enough was enough and they divorced. Fortunately there were no children. You are probably on the same road. It used to be that if a gal brought her fellow home, there were plans to get married. Are you engaged?
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19-10-2014, 03:43 PM
RE: Going to meet GF's Pentacostal family
WE NEED PICTURES!!!!

WHERE IS THE CUTE COUPLE?

There is a thread for pictures if you care to follow up the <ahem> invitation. Smile
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