Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
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17-07-2013, 07:26 PM
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
Same thing is posted on multiple sites. Hafnof provided links.

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17-07-2013, 07:27 PM
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
(17-07-2013 07:25 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  So, everyone is sure this is not a troll? Cuz this smells kinda funky.

Why would anyon-... ... oh... ... You... You are right... I smell a trace amount of tuna...

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17-07-2013, 07:39 PM
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THIS FORUM SECTION IS FOR SUPPORT. IF YOU CANNOT OFFER SUPPORT, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM POSTING; REGARLESS WHAT YOU THINK OF HIS OPINION. IF HE IS A TROLL, NOT RESPONDING TO HIM WILL RESOLVE THE THE ISSUE BY ITSELF.

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17-07-2013, 10:09 PM
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
I would just disown him, write him out of my will and move on. Maybe even adopt a good grandson.

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18-07-2013, 01:04 AM
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
(17-07-2013 07:39 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THIS FORUM SECTION IS FOR SUPPORT. IF YOU CANNOT OFFER SUPPORT, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM POSTING; REGARLESS WHAT YOU THINK OF HIS OPINION. IF HE IS A TROLL, NOT RESPONDING TO HIM WILL RESOLVE THE THE ISSUE BY ITSELF.

Oopsie doodle! This is directed at me. My apologies, I didn't take note of the forum section, my oversight. I let my opinion-cat out of its opinion-bag. Undecided

Please disregard my earlier comment and sorry to the OP, I hope you find a solution to your problem.

I'll back on out of here now.
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18-07-2013, 04:35 AM (This post was last modified: 18-07-2013 05:21 AM by Filox.)
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
Let us presume you are serious...

The things you say are straight out horrible. Sorry to say this, but I will try to explain it all, hopefully you will see it as well...

You are an older person, since you have a grandson of 30y, I'd say you are around 70-80. This puts us in a different perspective. You were raised VERY differently than people today are. Back when you were young, being black, Asian, or anything else that is not white and Christian, was bad. Those people were slaves, or treated as slaves, they had different Christian churches, or were not Christians at all, everybody treated them like they were not humans, unworthy, dirty, stupid, low-lives, uneducated, just less worthy than a good God-fearing white Christian...

Now that we have seen your perspective, things look different. The problem is that you, obviously, didn't learn new things, but it is hard to change who you are and what you were thought in your early years, so it is not just your fault. It is still wrong, though.

The things you NEED to accept and learn is that being Asian means nothing. She is American? Well, what do you know, USA is a multi-ethnic country. In fact, it was the foreigners that made the whole USA, so you as a white man and she as an Asian, you were both brought to America, you are not Indigenous species there, both of you. You are the same as she is. Also, it was the Asians and the Africans that build your country, while white people were acting like they own the place.

I am telling you this so that you can get the perspective about how wrong is your racism, and let us be open here, saying that her race is a problem for you, that makes you a racist, by any definition you like. If you do not want to be labeled as such, you should think and think hard about this subject. Your country would not be possible without these "other" races. This covers the "race" issue. In fact, there is no race issue, you are the one that made it up, because of how you were raised. Get rid of that, it is old, wrong and false thinking.

About her age, she is only 2 years older, only 2 years. Would that seriously make ANY difference in anything? It's not like she is 10 or more years older, but even then, if he loves her, you do realize that he can not love another one? He loves this one. Age? That is the last thing people in love think about. Where does it say that a man must be older than women is? That is also a leftover from old times, where men, perverted as we all are, always had more power in the house and they preferred to find a young girl to marry, because they could. Today, these things have changed. It's no longer 1265. If the difference in age is only 2 years, than this makes no sense at all, the difference is so small, it just like they have the same age.

Hmmmm... She is Asian, right? That means that she probably looks younger than she actually is. So her being Asian helps you to get over her years, because she looks younger than your grandson is. You see, her race can be helpful in some cases, even for you.

Atheism. You are funny. You say your grandson is atheist. So, what's the big deal if she is an atheist as well, it's not like she can reconvert him. If she was not atheist, there would be less chance of them being together. It is not like she is keeping him away from Jesus, you said HE IS an atheist, with or without her. He has seen the light, there is nothing that anyone can do, ever, to change his mind now. Also, husband/wife can hardly have the religion-changing effect on the other one, if they are already in their 30s. After you reach 30, you are very aware person, you have made up your mind about religions, gods and your beliefs, you know what you are and what you want. More or less. People change while they are young, the older they get, the more developed their personality already is and then that is it, for most people. Do not be afraid, being an atheist means nothing bad, they are still good people, caring people, moral people. Yes, believe it or not, even atheist have morals, do not believe all the stupid stories you hear about us. We do not worship Satan, because for us, there is no Satan. We believe in humans and in human race, in human goodness and in human love. That is not a bad thing, right? So, not all atheists are bad people, just like not all Christians are. Some are bad, but there are always some bad people, everywhere.

You also said they don't want to have kids. So what, neither do I. That has nothing to do with anything, except their own personal lives.

They have friends of both genders and different races? Seriously? OK, please read that sentence again. Do you see how weird do you sound when you say it like that? I know, I know, in your time men and women were separated. Separated beaches, separated schools, stuff like that. It was considered to be immoral if a girl was seen in men company, like she was a whore or something. But that was just wrong. Why can't a woman have man friends? And why can't a man have women friends? I have tons of women friends and I hang out with them without their boyfriends or husbands and guess what? We never have sex, or do anything inappropriate. Also, a lot of times my girl friends hang out with a bunch of us males, so what? We are humans not monkeys, we do not jump at the first vagina we see, we can think and choose how to act. Actually, even monkeys don't jump like that.

You live where? In USA? And you think it is strange that people in their 30's hang out with their friends that are of both genders and mixed races? Where do you live, again? In the USA? And you still think it is wrong for them to hang out with their friends, because they are now getting married? So? Why would a piece of paper with their signatures mean that they need to change their whole life, friends, jobs, thinking, beliefs, everything?

Your grandson is 150% normal. His wish to marry the love of his life, from his teenage years is the most beautiful of all romances I can think of. If only I could be so lucky, I would trade the rest of my life for one year of that kind of happiness.

To conclude this, not only do you have to attend their wedding, you are the one that needs to get them the biggest gift and apologize to him and to her, in person. Even if they don't know of your disapproval, you should admit it, and apologize.

Now, remember this, remember it well!

For a person to be happy, it does not matter what age, sex, gender, race or religion you are. The only thing that matters is that they love each other. There are no other factors. Are they happy together? That is the only, the ONLY question that matters, are they happy together. If they are happy, if she makes him happy... What more do you want? Now, just add the fact that they know each other for the last 15 years, and that will tell you she is not out for his money, she is one of his oldest friends. There is probably no one in this world that he trusts more than her.

Be happy that he found someone like that, most of us struggle our whole life and then we settle for a compromise, not our true happiness. Maybe you have settled for compromise, but he has a bigger and better chance for happiness.

You are his grandfather. Support him. Accept his love. Treat them all like family, because that is what you all are. Let him live his life like he wants, if that is what makes him happy. It is all that matters and it is extremely hard to find such a happiness.

Peace, Love and Empathy.


...........

If you are trolling... I'll see you in some other section of the forum and have a "talk" with you there.

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18-07-2013, 08:57 AM
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
(18-07-2013 01:04 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  
(17-07-2013 07:39 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THIS FORUM SECTION IS FOR SUPPORT. IF YOU CANNOT OFFER SUPPORT, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM POSTING; REGARLESS WHAT YOU THINK OF HIS OPINION. IF HE IS A TROLL, NOT RESPONDING TO HIM WILL RESOLVE THE THE ISSUE BY ITSELF.

Oopsie doodle! This is directed at me. My apologies, I didn't take note of the forum section, my oversight. I let my opinion-cat out of its opinion-bag. Undecided

Please disregard my earlier comment and sorry to the OP, I hope you find a solution to your problem.

I'll back on out of here now.

Nah. I wasn't directed at anyone individually. I was just reiterating what this section was and to keep things on track.

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18-07-2013, 11:05 AM
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
(17-07-2013 05:45 PM)leoblake Wrote:  
(17-07-2013 05:40 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Your grandson and his future wife sound happy and successful, I am afraid I don't understand the problem.

Is it the age difference, the mixing of races, or the atheism that's most upsetting to you?

Atheism, race mixing, age difference and in that order.

Addressing them in that order:

Their atheism is none of your business, but if you'd like to make it your business, then by all means, preach to them. It they heed your words, then you've done your duty. If they have not, then you've done your duty. Seems to me that if your grandson is marrying an atheist, he's made his decision in that regard. But that doesn't rob you of the right to try to change his or her mind.

Race mixing: As long as they are both human, they are of the same race. The different physical characteristics we refer to as race are the end product of centuries of geographic isolation. I would strongly urge you to examine yourself on this one, because it appears to be an issue in which you are harboring views that are harmful to your ability to enjoy life and respect your fellow man.

Age difference: She's TWO YEARS older than your grandson. That's barely an age difference. Surely you are intelligent enough to get past this miniscule, minor issue (especially if they do not intend to have children).

They love each other. You love him. None of the objections you raise should in any way keep you from respecting their decision (not yours) to spend the rest of their lives together.
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18-07-2013, 03:30 PM
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
Y'all toastin in a roll bread.




No chance a Christian grandfather of a 30 year old came to an atheist website seeking advice. Especially one with racist and intolerant positions such as these. He'd be far too close-minded to seek out the opinions of others. Especially the opinions of atheists.

Once again OP is lucky I'm not a mod.

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18-07-2013, 11:46 PM
RE: Grandson is getting married to someone I don't approve of?
Yes, but you see, this is not a bad situation to say a few words of advice. Even if it is not true, maybe someone else can find some advices here, so I don't see any problems.

All is good, worry not.

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